Hotline Confessions
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What does Aubrey O'Day discuss in this episode?
Hey guys, this is Aubrey from Amy and TJ Presents, Aubrey O'Day, me covering the trial. I really am so happy that you guys have been calling in and utilizing that hotline that we gave you. We got tons of voice messages, text messages into our hotline, and I definitely wanna go through a few of them today for you. I'd love to continue to answer any questions you have regarding the trial. So why don't we take one of the messages?
Hi, Aubrey. My name is Nicole. I'm from Indiana. We've actually met a couple times in Chicago. I do have a question. I would just like to know what you went through in making the band because I have followed Danity Kane for years. And what are your emotional scars and trauma from this? And how do you heal from this? And I just want to thank you for covering this because the world needs to hear it.
Nicole from Indiana, that was such a thoughtful message. And thank you so much for having supported me since that long ago, two decades and some change. What did I go through on making the band? I mean, I experienced a pattern of emotional manipulation through grooming and
What emotional scars did Aubrey O'Day carry from her time in Danity Kane?
rituals of control, physical mistreatment that I can't necessarily get into the extent of, and I'm still trying to understand the extent of to this day so far. It was a deeply transformative period in which my sense of self as a woman was shaped through the gaze and influence of someone whose behavior we now understand was deeply rooted in darkness. I'm trying to think, you know, I'm 41 now and I was a child when I started and I was systematically positioned as the scapegoat for the disillusion of Danity Kane and the decline of making the band and basically the whole franchise. And a narrative was crafted both allegedly internally and definitely absolutely publicly And it painted me as difficult, not group oriented, and ultimately that I was a harmful person to business. And when you're in a position like that and branded like that on national TV, especially on MTV, which was kind of like the network to go to at the time.
The humiliation of having me go through all of that and then sit through three-part finales where Diddy's in a robe in Miami smoking a cigar and I'm on stage alone with no support, trying to be as brave as I possibly could. But truly, they ensured through reruns that the whole world got the picture that they intended to give me. And over time, that narrative not only distorted how the world saw me, but how I saw myself. And if I didn't play into that narrative, I was left without work. And over time, I also felt because of that narrative that the most important thing that I had to offer any relationship was my sexuality, personal and work. It's kind of... it boxed me into a place where I almost believed the messaging myself for a very long period of time. I had a lot of dark days. I was left without work. And over time, that narrative was kind of like, stripping me of the complexity, talent, intellect, and the value that I truly bring to the table. And it really forced me to fight for an identity during my entire career that I never consented to.
And only now am I finding myself being able to set the appropriate boundaries and make sure that I'm only doing work that I consent to and that aligns with the purpose that I feel I wish my life could have started at back when I was just a kid.
Hi, yes, I'm calling in. My name is Callie, and I just wanted to really comment about, for me as a survivor of domestic abuse, how triggering Cassie's testimony was to hear. And how disgusting I think it is for people to comment on how a DV survivor should act or when she should leave or what she should do when you've never been in that situation. I was with a man 20 years. He didn't have nearly as much money or stature or pull as Diddy. And it took me 20 years to get away from that man.
Mm. Callie, I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through, especially for 20 years. I can't imagine the damage and the toll that that took on your soul. And I am just sending so much positivity and love. Healing and self-love your way. I pray that you're surrounded in a bubble by it for the rest of your life on this earth. You deserve so much.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What does Aubrey O'Day discuss in this episode?
0:10–1:30
2
What emotional scars did Aubrey O'Day carry from her time in Danity Kane?
1:30–10:42
3
How does Aubrey O'Day define trauma bonding?
10:42–14:44
4
What is identity erosion and how does it affect survivors of abuse?
14:44
5
What insights does Callie share about domestic abuse?
9:56–17:45
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes Present
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