Aubrey O'Day
speaker
1,063 appearances
30 recordings
2 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Aubrey O'Day’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Hey guys, this is Aubrey from Amy and TJ Presents, Aubrey O'Day, me covering the trial. I really am so happy that you guys have been calling in and utilizing that hotline that we gave you. We got tons of voice messages, text messages into our hotline, and I definitely wanna go through a few of them today for you. I'd love to continue to answer any questions you have regarding the trial.
So why don't we take one of the messages?
Nicole from Indiana, that was such a thoughtful message. And thank you so much for having supported me since that long ago, two decades and some change. What did I go through on making the band? I mean, I experienced a pattern of emotional manipulation through grooming and
rituals of control, physical mistreatment that I can't necessarily get into the extent of, and I'm still trying to understand the extent of to this day so far. It was a deeply transformative period in which my sense of self as a woman was shaped through the gaze and influence of someone whose behavior we now understand was deeply rooted in darkness.
I'm trying to think, you know, I'm 41 now and I was a child when I started and I was systematically positioned as the scapegoat for the disillusion of Danity Kane and the decline of making the band and basically the whole franchise. And a narrative was crafted both allegedly internally and definitely absolutely publicly
And it painted me as difficult, not group oriented, and ultimately that I was a harmful person to business. And when you're in a position like that and branded like that on national TV, especially on MTV, which was kind of like the network to go to at the time.
The humiliation of having me go through all of that and then sit through three-part finales where Diddy's in a robe in Miami smoking a cigar and I'm on stage alone with no support, trying to be as brave as I possibly could. But truly, they ensured through reruns that the whole world got the picture that they intended to give me.
And over time, that narrative not only distorted how the world saw me, but how I saw myself. And if I didn't play into that narrative, I was left without work. And over time, I also felt because of that narrative that the most important thing that I had to offer any relationship was my sexuality, personal and work. It's kind of...
it boxed me into a place where I almost believed the messaging myself for a very long period of time. I had a lot of dark days. I was left without work. And over time, that narrative was kind of like, stripping me of the complexity, talent, intellect, and the value that I truly bring to the table. And it really forced me to fight for an identity during my entire career that I never consented to.
And only now am I finding myself being able to set the appropriate boundaries and make sure that I'm only doing work that I consent to and that aligns with the purpose that I feel I wish my life could have started at back when I was just a kid.
Mm. Callie, I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through, especially for 20 years. I can't imagine the damage and the toll that that took on your soul. And I am just sending so much positivity and love. Healing and self-love your way. I pray that you're surrounded in a bubble by it for the rest of your life on this earth. You deserve so much.
You know, to answer your question in regards to DV through my own experience, abuse happens in cycles. It doesn't happen all at once. I think that's something that people aren't truly getting. In my personal experience, I would experience love.
This incredible, beautiful love that made me feel like, especially from somebody that had a, you know, much more established presence, more money, more power, more of a reputation and a fan base than me. I remember nights where I would go into the bathroom and lift my shirt up and like lay on the marble tile just so I could feel it.
something real because everything around me was so foreign and didn't didn't didn't know me. I didn't even know what I was seeing me do and be. And then that's followed up by an apology, of course, and sometimes gifts depending on, you know, if the guy has money or not. And so then you kind of lose sight of all the trauma. It never goes away.
I don't think you ever talk it outside of your body, even in therapy or any types of alternative healing. I think you just learn to create boundaries that you know will establish that you're never going to be in a situation like that again. And that's where your power really comes from. But a lot of people don't understand trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement.
It's basically like love followed by cruelty. It conditions the brain to crave approval from the very person that's harming you. And that is the part that keeps us there for like in your case, 20 years. It's just this constant cycle of trauma bonding. And then also there's shame, there's judgment and coming forward and telling people. And this was key for me. There's identity erosion.
I didn't feel talented, smart, successful, beautiful. I mean, I was being made fun of constantly. So the identity erosion for me was so big and I think it's so big for so many women when I hear how long they stay, and when they're very long lengths. It usually has to do with a low self-worth, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you went into the relationship with that.
But the identity erosion is a big part. It just breaks you down, isolates you, and it convinces you that what's hurting you is the only thing that's holding you together as well. So at the end of the day, I really want to make it clear, victims do not stay because they're weak, right? They stay because abuse rewires their reality.
OK, Jean-Paul, this is a little bit more. Now, listen, if we if this was like Aubrey, not in her professional blazer, I would just serve you the tea. But because we are, you know, we're taking this very seriously and we're reporting on this trial accurately. I can discuss your question later.
by using things that are occurring and that have been in the news and media without giving you my personal thoughts on the situation. But you're right. There have been several figures who have been a part of Diddy's professional and personal circle, artists, producers, bodyguards, assistants that have died young, often with causes listed as pneumonia, cardiac arrest,
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