Show notes
Be Your Own Hero – A Journey to Self-Discovery Unplugging Personal Development, Finding the Real You Hey there, Cloughie here! In today's episode of *Personal Development Unplugged*, we're breaking free from the usual self-improvement treadmill to explore something more authentic. Have you ever felt lost in the quest to become "the best version of yourself"? I have. That's why I'm here to propose a new direction: instead of chasing perfection, let's learn to **be our own hero**. The Gym Epiphany In a rare quiet moment at the gym, I had a realization that hit me like a ton of bricks. Being your own hero isn't about comparison or constant improvement; it's about identifying and embodying the unique qualities that *truly matter* to you. So, grab a pen and your "puzzle book" because we're diving deep into this together. Questions to Kickstart Your Journey We're getting hands-on with some powerful questions to help you craft your personal hero. Here's what to ask yourself: - What does my hero stand for? - What values do they hold, and what kind of life do they live? - How do they show up in service to others? - What dreams fuel their journey? aren't just "feel-good" questions; they're tools to uncover what really drives you and align with your own unique potential. This Episode is for YOU if: - You're tired of feeling pressured to be the "best" version of yourself - You want to reconnect with a sense of purpose that feels real - You're ready to visualize and live out the values that make you feel most alive Your Journey Starts Here By the end of our time together, I hope you'll walk away with a clearer picture of your hero and a renewed commitment to live in alignment with that vision—one small, powerful step at a time. Listen, Share, Shine So if this episode inspires you, please share it. Let's create a ripple of people who are ready to live with purpose and shine brightly as their own heroes. Catch the episode at:https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/417-how-to-be-a-hero/ Shine brightly, Paul Clough Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected] If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, , Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, in all these, bits of self development, self improvement and going to make the best version of yourself and all that. Constant never end improvement. My question is towards what and how and who? So I've delved into that in a special way. I think you find it interesting Hey, friend, I need your help. I need your help because. Are you puzzled as I am? Because I'm puzzled and I'm puzzled about bloody personal development, which is quite strange because I've been in that type of genre for bloody years. You know, helping people with hypnotherapy, hypnosis, timeline therapy, nlp. All about developing ourselves and to what end. So what is the direction of personal development? It's a lovely term, personal development, self development. But what we get these things. There's a lovely thing called Can I. Constant and, never ending improvement. Again, great thing. The actual concept of constant and never ending improvement is good, but to me it's slightly overwhelming. everyday constant, never ending improvement. Something I'd like to do, but I'm m confused. And then there's that one thing. Can we do 1% better each time we do it or 1% every day? Which is a bit like constant and never ending improvement, but you know, sounds good because they do. They're all like these wonderful memes. And I hate memes, by the way. Well, most of them. It just sounds good, you know, striving to be better. sounds m good too, doesn't it? Yeah. I'm in personal development because I want to be. I want to be better. What a generalization that is. I just want to be better, you see. Towards what? What we. Where are we heading in our personal development M why are we doing this? You know, where are we? What is the target? what is the aim? Towards what? Constant never ending improvement. Towards what? 1% more towards what? Striving to be better towards what? And that's why I'm getting confused. And I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be because this is part of my life sharing these type of things. And so this is why I'm opening up to you. Because I'm a little bit lost. Well, I was. I think. I think I was lost. You see, this thing just puzzled me, you know, what is the best version of ourselves? Because that's what I've been talking about as well. The aim is to become the best version of ourselves. But again, how general is that? The best version. What does it mean? What do you think of when you do that? I get a very fuzzy picture of myself sometimes. And it's the same bloody picture. Sometimes it's over and over again. Bit like the act of gratitude, you know, you can do it really well, but sometimes it's just by rote, isn't it? Same things. And when I think of that best version of myself, or a little while ago, it didn't inspire me anymore. And that was sad because this is my life. It's your life, isn't it? Are you confused? But I want you to help me. Well, help me as I just go through this. You see, a little while ago, not too long ago, I had an aha, moment again. I was in the bloody gym then. I was. It always seems to happen when I'm on that bloody walking machine. So I'm gonna go in there more often, I think. There I was walking away and I was listening to a podcast which included David Goggins. I love David Goggins. He's a bit way out there, but inspirational. And he swears a lot, which is, no mad, no bad thing, I don't think, anyway. And to his credit, I think, you know, don't be like me, don't be like me if you want, be inspired to think a little bit like me. But he did inspire me to think because he said this one. Well, how many? One, two, three, four words. Four words. And it was lost in a sentence because they carried on talking, but to me, suddenly, boom, it was there. Four words. Dramatic pause. What were those four? Be your own hero is what I'm looking for in life I'll tell you what those four words were. Be your own hero. I thought, fuck, yeah, that. That's what I'm looking for, be my own hero. Because I can. Well, it gives me something to work on, to flesh out, doesn't it? And what a way to live. Striving to be your own hero. Imagine if you were living your life as your own hero And before we go into that, just imagine, just for a moment, without visualizing anything at all, just think if you were living your life as your own hero, what'd it feel like? And to me, it gave me such a buzz. If I could only live like my own hero, that would be it. Now I've got something to strive for, because that is the best version of myself. That is what I would try to improve every day. Constant, never end improvement. To be that hero. If I only improve 1% a day to become my own hero, it would be there. If I just strived to be closer, not better, but to be closer to that version of My own hero. What a way to live. That's what I think. To me anyway. What do you think? Take a moment now just to think. If I was to be my own hero, living my life. Wow. Because that would be it, wouldn't it? But let's dive a little bit deeper. well, I did, you see. I did. I did with the help of my son's mastermind group because I asked them to help me to contribute to flesh it out, as it were. Now let's see if we can might even put this into a process. Later on I might put it into a hypnosis track, See where we go with that. But first of all, let's just think. And I got my puzzle book out for this by the way. Think about it. That's my puzzle book. I do, I can, I can sell the puzzle books to you. In fact, they are available in every good bookshop because they're just a plain, plain paper. You can get them lined, you can get them with little dots on what look like squares. But I love plain paper because it gives me the freedom. Or you can have, it's a piece of paper, it doesn't matter. But I use my puzzle book. And in the middle of my puzzle book, right in the middle, I open the, open up two pages so I've got the whole like all of it. And in the middle I put be your own hero. I thought, yeah, that's pretty good. But then I put after it, aspire to be your own hero. Cloughie. And I drew a little smiley face with a, with a halo over the top. I don't know why it made me laugh, but I, I started asking myself questions to flesh this out. And I want you to think if you could, which maybe helped me inspire myself to flesh it out, ask these questions. And I started to get some answers and answer the questions and I maybe just fill in some of the things I got which may get you consciously and unconsciously, because I want your unconscious mind to think about this. Because if you think about it unconsciously, if you're living your life as your superhero, you are living the best life you are the healthiest you have, or you're dealing with any stress and problems you're dealing with them. Therefore you're in the safest possible world of your own, which is where your unconscious you, the unconscious mind want them to be. Isn't it talking to your best friend now. So anyway, I'll come back to that. Yeah. What are your highest values? What would your superhero stand for So what is your best. So what would your hero Stand for what is. Stand for who? What would they stand for? Your best hero. You see, I wrote down fairness. if there is such a thing as fairness in an unfair world, because the world is unfair. And that's another. Another topic. But fairness, as best they could. But that was the first thing that came to mind, just to be fair, treating people with fairness. That's what my superhero would do. Superhero now, by the way. And what wouldn't your hero stand for? What wouldn't they accept? And for me, it jumped out and I was a bit harsh because I said, liars. I won't accept lies. People who don't tell the truth. My superhero wouldn't accept selfishness or rudeness or any of that. Just not acceptable. And that just got me to think, that's a. There's some stuff in there. Maybe I'll flesh that out again. But maybe you could think, what would your superhero not. Not accept? And what would they stand for? Firm. You, see in there, there's a set of values in there. So what is. Or what are is better word, the values of your superhero, the ones you despire to be. You see, I thought of mine. What are my highest values? And I've had these since I found them, basically when I did, a values exercise way, way, way back into a distant age. And it was always trusted honesty. And I wrote those down and ticked them again because I can't think of anything higher for me. So my hero, my superheroes, would have in his heart, trust and honesty. And then there was a side. Listening before talking. I don't know where that came from. That just slipped in. And, I know I have been thinking about that for a long time. In fact, there's. I think I've either have done or will do an episode on that. How to be heard. That's what it's called, how to be heard. In fact, I think that was the last one bit short because it muddled up in episodes in my head. But hey, listening before talking. What would your superhero, your hero, believe in Now, what would your superhero, your hero, believe in? What would their beliefs be? And I thought about this, and again, what I did was I wrote these questions down and then I came back to them because I wanted them to, I hoped, come from not my. Just my conscious mind, but from my unconscious mind and let my conscious mind, like, decipher what I was thinking inside. And the same type of beliefs that I try to have as best I can, I know they're right. Sometimes they get a little bit. They're bent or pushed against, but I'VE got this. I'm okay now. They're so subtle to me. They just give me that inner strength. I'm okay. And then I thought, well, that's fine, but is there anything else below that? And the belief I got was everyone can change if they want to. That just means leaving the door open, doesn't it? And I thought, well, that's again, come from all my work with therapy. People want to change. We can find a way because I've got this. And it just made sense to me. But what beliefs would your hero have? What would they have at their core along with those values? Because values and beliefs at identity level are, ah, so powerful. They're what set our direction. I think they're what, you know, inspire us, even though we don't know. Sometimes they could say below the surface. But this is like bringing them out into our conscious awareness. And we can go, yeah, yeah. And, I thought, keep going with this. Who does my hero look up to? Who does your hero look up to? And, I didn't have a person in mind. Nothing came up. But then I thought, well, anyone showing kindness, because that leaves it so open to looking for people who show kindness. And again, looking for anyone who is showing up to stand up and be prepared to stand up for what's right. And that's a little bit like the very beginning, isn't it? What would your hero stand for? And, not accept? And then this one that hit me a little bit, little bit in me. Well, a lot of it is in me. It's all me, isn't it? It's all about me. But this is all about you too. But the one thing that came along and then just like, knocked me between the eyes was someone who can say sorry when it's needed, when it's proper, when it's, when it's, when it's the right thing to do. Because I know I don't, I don't do that, don't do it always. I have to force myself sometimes. And I don't know why. And that's something I'll have to be working on. Maybe that's too much information, you know. And, I got a lot of stuff. I got a lot of stuff. Everyone's got stuff. I got good stuff to share and I got some stuff inside still to work on. Everyone's got stuff to work on. But again, if my superhero, and if I could aspire to be that, then I will be saying sorry if I need to, if it's needed. Because it can't be right all the time. Oh, we always want to make a mistake about loads, isn't it? and then I thought of this. What dreams does my hero have? Have a think now. What? What do you think? Your hero? If you could aspire to be that person, what dreams would they have? Because you sometimes think, well, maybe that hero would have everything. But no, they still have dreams. But, wow, what dreams would they be? Because they're coming from a foundation of absolute wonder. I haven't got an answer for this yet because I'm still dreaming to be my hero, and I find it hard to get hold of that. But they'll come. It'll come. I'll come back to this puzzle book. Look out, look at this. And suddenly I'll know I'll get the answer, because that's the whole. This is an aside now. this is a great thing about having things like a puzzle book and writing that sucker down. Because I did at least two to three efforts on this. First of all, I just wrote out one or two questions with that central theme, and then I began to flesh it out. Then I got a few more questions, and I know I'll flesh it out even more because it's a work in progress, isn't it? You know, I'm a work in progress. You're a bloody work in progress. We're all nearly swore. We're all work in progress, aren't we? I did swear so. Because it felt good. How does your superhero provide service? What is selfless service But maybe you want to think about that. What are your dreams? And are they the dreams that your superhero still, has? And then I thought, well, I got this lovely person now. My hero, the one I strive and aspire to be. How does my hero provide service? Because I do believe we. We should be giving. And I don't like the word should, but, you know, everyone should give service to somebody, to something. Doesn't be somebody. Could be something. Could be the land, could be. Could be animals, could be anything at all. But what is selfless service? You know, it's that one where you don't expect any repayment whatsoever. It's for free with my compliments, no charge. You know, you're welcome. That's the only thing I want to be able to say, you're welcome, and do it. I made this note again. It's sopy. And I even wrote sopy in brackets with love and a smile. That's how my hero provides service. I'm not sure what. What it would be in what. What genre, what type of thing, but I just know that my Superhero would be looking to do and give your welcome with love and a smile. And to do that I, made a note. Mastering becoming a master of emotions, becoming a master of actions, becoming master of beliefs, and becoming a master of skills. Because to give selfless service, you're giving your skills. So you need to be able to access all those skills and practice accessing those skills and practicing using those skills. Because just having them is no fucking good at all. If you know a lot but don't use it, what's the point of knowing it? That's just ego driven, isn't it? But if you can do what you know and know what you do and get and put it into the form of selfless service where you're welcome, he said with love and a smile, that's my hero. That's what I want to strive to be. And then, I put, how does a hero, my hero behave in the world? Because we have values, we have beliefs, we have skills. But it also ends up as a behavior, doesn't it? Everything is a behavior. And I've got. It's quite strange with integrity. But again, what does integrity mean? I got an idea, obviously, but then I wrote softly with inner pride and in capital letters, the last bit with the heart of a warrior and the warriors written in capital letters uppercase. Because if you can have inner pride, act and behave like a warrior inside with integrity and with everything else I've put together, I thought I've got the makings. I've got a recipe of a real hero that I can strive to be because it inspires me. And I wonder what yours does. How would your hero behave in the world? Here's the thing that I know that you see all these things and the more I'm going to flesh it out and the more you're going to flesh it out are, inside you anyway. Already you have all of these wonderful skills, traits, whatever you want to call it, they're in there because they would if you, you couldn't be able to bring them out on paper to think about them if they weren't in there somewhere. So you have all of these things. It's a matter of accessing them m and bringing them out in full to keep practicing, to keep striving to get that constant and never improvement of your, of everything you've got which starts inside with what you've got now and then improving it. One percent maybe. So there you go. I don't know if any of that made sense. Paul: I hope this podcast inspires you to think of your superhero This is a ramble I know it's a heartfelt ramble, by the way, because this is really important to me and I hope, one of my hopes is that I can inspire you to think of your hero, because it's what you deserve. It's what you deserve to live or how to live as your hero. But we need to have that direction. We need to have the thought about what it is to be specific, not just constant and never ending improvement. Now I know what I want. I want to constantly be improving. For now, I, know what, I'm 1% every day bringing this to mind. So I need some, something to bring it to mind every day, which is where we get visualizations and things like. But I can now visualize my superhero, my hero, me, the person I strive to be. That is the best version of me. And it gets better. The more I work on it, the better it'll be, the clearer it'll be. And when I look back, I'll be going, okay, Cloughie, we're doing it. Maybe not all of it. It won't be all of it because it's always more. Whatever you think you are, you're always more than that too. So you're closer. Maybe that's a bit weird language, but you are. So I hope you know I have inspired you just if nothing else to think about it. Please get a puzzle book, please get a piece of paper, pen, pencil, colored crayons, whatever, and maybe just right in the middle, my hero. Maybe be your hero. What is my hero? Whatever it is, whatever is right for you. And just with lines going away from the sender. Just begin to maybe think about what are the values, what are the beliefs, what will your hero stand for? Not accept, what type of service, what do they dream of, how do they behave, who do they look up to, all that stuff. I think I will be doing a hypnosis track on that just to help you flesh it out in your conscious and unconscious mind. Let's get them both going. So it becomes an unconscious target to the aim in mind to be that best version of yourself. A best version that we can now grasp, hold, feel, as it were. Because when you've. Even if you just took my hero, and I know it's not you, but if you took the elements that resonate within you and add your little bits, you could feel it. Can't you begin to feel what it would feel like? And it's that feeling of the wish fulfilled once we start working or working on us with that feeling first in mind, the feeling of the wish fulfilled and then be. Guess what? What would happen if we acted as if. Acted as if we were that superhero with all those wonderful traits, values, beliefs. Fuck it. We'd be there. Nearly there. Jesus. I'm sorry about all the swearing, but, I get emotional about this bloody stuff because a lot of this is just me pouring out the things I'm thinking about about me. And hopefully you can come along with me in parallel with your thoughts, your desires, your dreams, your goals. To be the very best person that enjoys life, the life you deserve. Anyway, I hope that made sense. Please, if there's anything that doesn't make sense or anything you want about that, more detail or whatever, something you didn't understand, maybe I didn't explain it right or something, you go, ah, Paul, what about this Cloughie? I thought about something. If there's anything like that, please do email me. I'd love to hear it. It'll inspire me to do more for myself and for other people too. How do you do that? Feedback at Personal Development Unplugged. dot com. And I'll be there for you. And we'll create even better lives for ourselves. Become. Get our superhero being even more. I wonder what our superheroes hero is. Oh, there's another concept. Let's go another level. So if you would email me and if you could share this episode and share the podcast, it would mean so much to me. It really would. It's a way of paying it forward. It's a way of selfless service. But it would mean, I think other people would get whatever golden nuggets I put out there, known and unknown, conscious and unconscious. I think it would be. That would be very kind. Very kind. And it's very kind of you to spend your time with me, listen to me prattle on about me and the things I'm thinking about. So have more fun than you can stand. And, find joy wherever you look. Paul Clough advises you to leave personal development unplugged It's time to fly, my friend. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]