friendship breakups and boundaries, advice session
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What is the main topic of friendship breakups and boundaries?
Welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you, yes you, send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and then I, yes me, give you my own professional advice. And today's topic is a topic that we've touched on many a times here on Anything Goes, and that would be the topic of friendship. But more specifically, friendship breakups and boundaries, also known as the less fun part of friendship. The fun part of friendship is going and getting brunch together, going on a hike together, talking about your crushes together, talking about a funny YouTube video you saw the other day. You know, that's the fun part of friendship. The not fun part of friendship...
Friendship breakups and boundaries. Although I will say boundaries are not necessarily not fun. Boundaries can be awesome and they can actually make a friendship more fun, I would argue. Friendship breakups, on the other hand, not fun.
How can boundaries improve friendships?
Nothing is fun about that. Long term, there can be relief, but short term, kind of sucks, kind of sucks. Boundaries, more awesome, still kind of uncomfortable. So we're going to be touching on some of the more uncomfortable parts of friendship today. And I must say, I am getting over the flu still. I've been getting over the flu for like a really long time. And so my voice kind of sounds like shit. Okay, and maybe I also was at karaoke like a week ago too. And my voice has just never recovered. I honestly need to take better care of my voice considering it's my job to talk. But it sounds like shit. And in my defense, I was at karaoke, but I didn't even get on stage and sing karaoke. I literally just watched and sang along.
Okay, I sang along. But that was enough to fuck my voice up. In addition to the flu, it's like I just my pipes have been off. So ignore that and excuse that. Anyway, without further ado, let's begin.
I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Hotels.com. Save Your Way is a new feature on Hotels.com and it's as simple as it sounds. When you book a trip as a Hotels.com member, you decide how to use your savings. Take the instant savings now or bank the savings as rewards for later. It's your call, only at Hotels.com. Save Your Way is available to loyalty members in the US and UK on hotels with member prices. Other terms apply. See site for details. Now back to the episode.
Somebody said, "'I want to end a friendship "'because it sucks the life out of me, "'but my friend doesn't know that "'because I don't think I make it obvious. "'So if I brought it up, "'it might make me seem crazy or seem random.'" What do I do? Well, this is interesting. It sounds like to me that you've never had a conversation with this friend about whatever it is that makes this relationship exhausting. You've never brought it up. Now, I don't know what your friend is doing, right? And that is helpful information. But I will say, in relationships, confrontation is key. That's what makes relationships grow, evolve, grow. That's what allows relationships to continue through various chapters of life, right?
If you're not communicating and confronting, it's very hard to keep a relationship going. And so I don't know what your friend is doing that sucks the life out of you. And that's a serious statement. I take that very seriously. You know, if this person's sucking the life out of you, That's a big problem and we need to fix that. However, if it's possible and fair to yourself, I think it's not a terrible idea before just jumping ship on the friendship to perhaps maybe bring up the exhausting traits, qualities about your friend to your friend before you just jump ship. I mean, listen, you got to be, you know, you want to be kind about it. You want to be gentle about it. You want to be empathetic about it.
You want to remember that the person that you're confronting is a fellow human being, has feelings, even if what they're doing is a bummer. But you could gently, respectfully bring up your grapes with your friend, find a creative way to do that.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic of friendship breakups and boundaries?
0:00–1:03
2
How can boundaries improve friendships?
1:03–10:10
3
What should I do if a friendship feels exhausting?
10:10–16:21
4
How do I confront a friend about their negative behavior?
16:21–19:23
5
What should I consider before ending a friendship?
19:23–31:46