Chapter 1: What bizarre encounter did the host have with their neighbor?
Let me set the scene for you. It was 9am this morning. I had already had my coffee, gone to the bathroom, written in my journal. I actually wrote in my journal on the toilet. This is something I've been doing lately. It's very efficient. And there's something sort of beautiful about it.
You know, something sort of beautiful about writing down your feelings while releasing physical negative energy from the day before on the toilet. You know, there's something spiritual about that. So I did that. I actually wrote two pages. I had a lot to say. When I don't have a lot to say, I do one page.
And it's kind of a struggle to fill one page sometimes because they just don't have that much to say. Today, clearly, I had something to say. And 9 a.m. hits and it's time for my morning walk. This is something I've been doing almost daily for the last month. I've been a walker for years. I love a walk. But I've been really consistent for the last month with a morning walk.
And I do the same walk every time I walk in my neighborhood for the most part. Actually, I have two routes, one that's shorter if I'm not in the mood to go long and one longer one. And today I was in the mood for the long one. So my walk starts out as normal. I tend to see the same people every single day walking their dog, maybe driving off to work. Everything was happening as expected.
I really enjoyed my walk. I actually talked to my dad a little bit on the phone. Very therapeutic, as it always is. And I'm coming around the bend towards the end of my walk. I'm almost back at my house. And a car starts backing out of its driveway. So naturally, I stop because the person driving the car can't see me.
And I'm waiting for them to pull out and leave, and then I'll continue walking on. Nothing out of the ordinary. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Volkswagen. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I love to be a passenger. Growing up, I loved sitting passenger seat in my dad's old Volkswagen. Wind in my hair, listening to music.
There was something magical and carefree about it. But once I got my driver's license, I've loved being in the driver's seat ever since. Not just in the car, but in my life as well. This is from me, from Volkswagen, and all the other drivers out there. Do it. Grab the wheel. Get in the driver's seat of life. Visit vw.com to learn more. Now back to the episode.
The person driving the car backs up, looks over at me. It's a woman, perhaps an older woman, maybe 70 years old, wearing incredibly chic glasses. I was like, whoa, those are cute glasses. They were like brown tortoiseshell with yellow lenses, chic. She looked amazing. She had like gorgeously blown out hair. It looks like she just got her hair done. She looked wonderful.
I was like, wherever this woman is going, I know she's gonna slay there. This was what I was thinking. And I have my AirPods in and she rolls down her window and she was like, can I help you? And I was like, wait, what? And I took my AirPod out. I was like, wait, what? I was like, that can't be right. Is she like being like, is she attacking me? I was like, wait, hold on.
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Chapter 2: What unusual experiences have occurred during the host's neighborhood walks?
He literally just walked out of the bush as though it was like he just... Like, you know in Harry Potter when...
Harry like to get to Hogwarts he goes to the train station or whatever and then he walks through a brick wall or like a brick he basically walks through a brick wall and that's how he goes to Hogwarts and only he can access that and other wizards can access that because they're wizards so they can like somehow pass through the brick wall no one else can it felt like he just arrived from like another place and just walked out of the bush and he said not a word
And he strolled out of it. I cannot explain how that happened or why that happened or what he was doing in the book. What was he doing? What was he doing? It was odd. I know what you're thinking. Emma, use common sense. You can probably figure out what he was doing. Maybe he was hanging out in there. The vibe was, though, he was wearing...
I feel like, I can't remember what he was wearing, but he was wearing like very normal clothes. Like I think he was wearing like jeans and a tee. You know what I mean? It's like, what are you doing in the bush, dude? What are you doing? I don't, it's so bizarre and unexplainable. It felt like a fever dream.
Speaking of a fever dream on my walk, there's something very mysterious going on at the house on the top of the hill of my walk, okay? My walk, I go all the way up to the top of a hill. It's excruciating. It hurts. It's uncomfortable. I'm out of breath. I always sweat. It's very, it's exhausting, but it's good for the glutes.
And you know, I haven't noticed a difference in the glutes, but also I don't like turn around and look at my own butt in the mirror very much. So there's a chance that it's making the thing round. I just don't know. I'll have to ask around, see if anyone's noticed. I don't think so. I think somebody would have brought it up.
Like probably my stylist, Jared, would have been like, wow, Emma, the glutes. He hasn't said a thing. Not a word, not a peep out of Jared. He has not noticed. Clothes are fitting the same. The butt is not poking out. It's okay, but anyway, there's a house at the very top of the hill. It's like, once I reach the top, time to turn around and go back down.
And there's this house and it's always been intriguing to me. Let me paint the picture for you, okay? It's sort of a massive property and you can see a lot of it. It is behind a gate, but you can see a lot of it. There's a tennis court. I think there's a pool. It sort of looks like if you were to walk inside, it would be like a Disneyland ride, like a theme park ride.
Like it kind of has this it's like the paint is pastel. There's something a little whimsical about it. It's very retro looking. And it is ultimately decrepit. Like it's falling apart a little bit. Not like to the point where it's like, you know, the walls are coming off and you can see inside the house. Not to that extent, but like, you know, the paint's chipping.
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Chapter 3: What happened when the host encountered a strange man during their walk?
So I walk up to him. He actually knew who I was. He recognized me. And he was very complimentary of me, which I was very appreciative of. That's so nice to be on my morning walk and somebody to start complimenting me while I'm probably like on my walk trying to be peaceful, but ultimately pushing down my imposter syndrome. You know what I mean? Like, great. What a treat.
And that was really wonderful. And then he started talking about his current life situation, which I won't tell you about because that is no one's business but his. And he started venting to me about it. And he was talking to me with this like very unusual confidence. I can't explain it, but he was just very confident.
And I think the best way I can display his confidence without telling you about the conversation verbatim is he did something that was so bizarre. Okay. He unclipped a hair clip from his bag, like a hair clip for like long hair where like, you know, you twist your hair up and pin and clip it, right? He unclipped that from his bag and he threw it at me.
And I was like, what do you want me to do with this? Like, I don't have any hair. Like my hair is short. He was like, you're not a broken little girl anymore. grow your hair out, let it be long. And I was like, well, that's not gonna happen for a long time. So you can take the clip back because I'm not gonna need it for a long time.
And he said, when you grow your hair out, you give that clip back to me. This was the nature of the whole conversation for the most part, okay? That was his vibe. And I'm like, what is happening right now? Is he a genius? Is he a psychic? He said something else that was really interesting.
He was like, because I was wearing sunglasses, he was like, I feel like you're someone who wears glasses a lot because you're trying to protect your spirit. And you know what's weird? Is that I do wear glasses a lot. And it does sort of weirdly feel like a protective mechanism. Like I can't explain it, but it does feel sort of protective. Like it spiritually is sort of like a shield.
It also is a wonderful accessory that really takes any outfit to the next level. But it also is sort of a weird block. Like it... And the fact that he caught on to that was so bizarre to me. And he was just talking about me as though he had me all figured out.
Saying that like I'm a hurt little girl on the inside, that's my inner child and that's why I cut all my hair off and have a pixie and that I'm not hurt anymore and that I can grow it out and be a beautiful woman. To be honest, the thing about that too is that there is a bit of truth to that. I think I've always, how do I put this?
I've always struggled with feeling... I've always felt like I'm not feminine enough because I'm very in touch with my masculine traits, if you will, and I always have been. And I've always been weirdly self-conscious about that because it's not something I can control, you know? Like, I am who I am because that's the other thing about me. I am who I am. Like, I... I can't fake it.
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Chapter 4: How did a neighbor's suspicious behavior affect the host?
But there was something so intriguing about the whole interaction that I couldn't help but laugh.
question if he was on to something and the whole thing he said about the glasses too was weirdly so on on the nose as well that I was like is this random young kid a psychic or has he just read a few like psychology books and he's pulling from that like I don't know but as I was walking away he was like he was like well I'd ask for your number but you'll get it one day And I was like, what?
Okay, I got to go. I was like, what is happening? What is happening? And to be honest, the interaction actually kind of frightened me at first. Like it really did frighten me. It was so unusual and his confidence was so unusual that the whole thing was just like kind of an out of body experience for me. And I did get really freaked out.
The remainder of my walk home, I was spooked a little bit, but then I calmed down. He was harmless. But that was really odd. Those are all of the weird occurrences that have happened to me on my neighborhood walks. And I mean, I don't think that this is the end. So I'll keep you all updated if more odd things happen.
But while we're telling stories, I have a few more miscellaneous stories to share with you all. Miscellaneous. But these do not take place on my neighborhood walk. That's all I got, okay? And the fact that I even have that many stories is kind of impressive. Like I shouldn't have that many. Now listen, are any of them that groundbreaking?
No, but the thing is, if you want groundbreaking stories, you can go ahead and find a liar on YouTube. You know what I mean? Wild things don't really happen that often. You know, so it's like, listen, if you want a crazy story, like go find someone who's like lying or something. OK, next story. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Too Good & Co.
I've actually got two good creamers right here in my studio today. And let me tell you, this should be the latest upgrade to your coffee game. They're made with farm fresh cream, real milk, and contain three grams of sugar per serving. That's 40% less than the five grams per serving in leading traditional coffee creamers.
Two good creamers are available in sweet cream, roasted vanilla, and lavender. All you got to do is pick one. Find them all at your local retailer in the creamer aisle. Now back to the episode. My friends and I decided to go to a concert here in Los Angeles. We got there super late and we're like running in, trying to get in.
And they're checking my bag at security because, you know, you have to go through a metal detector. They have to scan your bag, look through your bag. And they pull out my car keys and then they single out on my key chain, my Swiss army knife, my little mini Swiss army knife. And they're like, you can't bring this in. And I was like, fuck. And I was like, okay, should I run it back to the car?
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Chapter 5: What peculiar stories does the host share about the abandoned house?
I don't know how they, how they fell out. And I was looking at the Swiss army knife and I look a little closer and I see that engraved into the Swiss army knife. It says Wanda. I'm not Wanda. Whose Swiss Army knife is this? They gave me back the wrong one. Now here's the thing. This wouldn't be a big deal. I don't mind having somebody else's Swiss Army knife.
Yeah, it's a little bit weird that it says Wanda on it, but like that doesn't really bother me that much. It would be more of a shame for them if that was a special Swiss Army knife that they've had for years that has their name engraved on it. Maybe somebody gave it to them as a gift. That would be sad.
The problem was, for the last two or three weeks since I've had this random person's Swiss Army knife, I've probably used the toothpick 10 times. Now, this is a repulsive thing to realize. Wanda and I have basically kissed and it's disgusting. It's disgusting. And now I want to look up how long bacteria. I'm looking up how long does mouth bacteria live on plastic? Oh no.
It says mouth bacteria and other germs can live on plastic surfaces for anywhere from a few hours to several weeks. Perfect. Perfect. Great. Okay. Well, I mean, I never got sick, but Wanda and I basically kissed. So, yeah, that's not great. Okay, another story. This next one is embarrassing. This happened a few months ago. I was at a party. It wasn't like a party party.
It was like a industry party, kind of more of like a work party vibe. And I randomly start chatting it up with some people I don't know. And at one point, one of the girls I'm talking to was like, those are really cute glasses. And I was like, oh, thank you. And she was like, are those prescription? And I was like, oh yeah, they're light prescription. Like I just need readers.
I have a little stigmatism, just plus 1.25, like the lightest you could possibly go. They're super light. And she was like, oh, can I try them on? And I was like, sure, I guess. Why not? And I wasn't sure if she wanted to try them on to like see if like they looked cute on her or like what. So I just was like, sure. So I give them to her and she's like, these are not prescription.
And I was like, oh, and I tried, I put them back on and I realized. So I wasn't wearing my prescription once that night. And here's how that happened.
OK, I have when I go out for the evening and wear glasses, I'm not wearing them for function necessarily, unless I'm like really tired and I'm doing like a late night run to the grocery store and my eyes are kind of blurry and fatigued from the day. Maybe I've been looking at a screen all day or something. My eyes are kind of blurry.
Then I'll wear my readers out to like go run errands or something because my eyes actually are tired. But usually if I'm just going out for the night, I'm wearing glasses more for fashion purposes. And one of my pairs of glasses I have in both prescription readers and normal. Why? Because they're glasses that I made with Warby Parker like a year ago.
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Chapter 6: What happened when the host faced a swarm of wasps?
My coffee company is Chamberlain Coffee. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. I love you. I appreciate you. And I will talk to you soon. Okay, bye. Love you. Bye.