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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Ari Matti Returns!

25 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.149 - 9.041 Kevin Ryan

Gang, Tootie's got a limited 4th of July drop coming at ya. We got some nice t-shirts. Show up to the barbecue looking fresh, clean, and patriotic.

0

9.062 - 13.147 Ari Matti

Yeah, don't be a bozo. Available at RUgarbage.com while supplies last.

0

13.668 - 31.373 Kevin Ryan

Happy 4th of July. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RUgarbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old pastry. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day.

0

31.393 - 49.899 Kevin Ryan

We're out back here at Tootie's in the new addition. She's upstairs picking out the windows. Okay. My call's coming in from right next to me. That's a quick one right there. Well, yeah, a little throat chop. Stick and move. He's coming at you from right next to me. He's the CEO of Are You Garbage? Bit of a, you know, international businessman. He gets around. Germany, France, Walwood, New Jersey.

0

49.919 - 51.181 Kevin Ryan

Senegal. Senegal.

51.341 - 52.022 Ari Matti

Yeah, I just got back.

52.203 - 52.643 H. Foley

Really?

52.663 - 56.008 Ari Matti

You did like shows too? No. Nah. Nah, my wife's from there. I was just visiting.

55.988 - 79 H. Foley

Your wife is German? Yeah. Oh my God, Jesus Christ, that must be hell. It ain't great. When I went to backpacking trips, I would meet other backpackers. Anytime you saw a German chick, she's going to be so strict, and they like rules. They're like, oh, oh, you were late. You never called me back. And then there were these two German chicks in Romania, in Bucharest.

Chapter 2: What experiences does Ari share about his travels?

91.78 - 101.655 H. Foley

It's worse than... You can bang a kid when she's 13. In Romania, they're like, hey, it's love. But you feed a dog. That's the biggest no-no.

0

101.635 - 124.099 H. Foley

and these two german chicks just saw a random puppy they're like nice people from berlin you know so they take the dog to like local because they want to take it back to germany so they want to get it like shot back yeah yeah and uh here stripped and like numbered and stuff and they go to like some veterinarian office in rome in bucharest and they're like we want to and they're like

0

125.429 - 136.484 H. Foley

You want to take a dog. They look at dogs like a piece of gum on the floor. So they're like, you want to take this dog to Germany? They're like, we don't even have a department. We don't even know how to do that.

0

136.644 - 138.627

Vaccinate a dog? I need a vaccine.

0

138.667 - 142.612 H. Foley

There's kids that don't have it. I don't have a tetanus shot.

142.672 - 146.037

Fuck the tetanus. It's all people in the vet's office.

146.017 - 159.278 H. Foley

And so what they did, they hid it in the bag with the dog in the bag. And then on the plane, it was like a big commotion when they found out they had the dog. And they got him to Germany and posted on Facebook crying like, please accept the dog. Like they fought for a dog.

160.52 - 172.079 Ari Matti

Kevin Ryan, ladies and gentlemen. What's up, everybody? Shout out to you as always. Just make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available on Spotify. Boys are climbing the fucking charts. And then patreon.com, the greatest website of all time. Check it out.

172.099 - 205.893 H. Foley

Is she strict on you? Because I know these Germans are absolute lunatics. Honestly, no, not much. Not much. Does she like him? We'll be right back. A German wife hates your fucking friends. I stink, though. Because your friends bring him back to the level that she took so long to build up from. Once a guy goes back with his caveman Neanderthal friends, they all get Neanderthal together.

Chapter 3: How do comedians feel about their relationships?

374.681 - 375.824 Ari Matti

I thought they were a little more.

0

376.144 - 379.833 H. Foley

He doesn't know what he's talking about. What are you talking about? No, I love Polish people. Of course.

0

379.933 - 381.978 Ari Matti

I thought they were a little more like, you know.

0

382.118 - 400.603 H. Foley

Oh, it's Warsaw. It's beautiful. I grew up in from third to eighth grade. I was in Gdynia in Poland. Who's got more cash, Estonia or Poland? Polo have the numbers, but I mean, beauty wise. See, we're close to Sweden and Finland. Those businessmen come over and fuck our women. So I got to finish that. Everyone's got to finish that or a Swedish dad.

0

400.623 - 405.034 H. Foley

So the money comes in with the prostitution and all the booze bags.

405.014 - 427.191 H. Foley

that's all they do they come over and they just get up in our country and it helps the economy a lot who goes to poland yeah it's a good point let's hang out at auschwitz what a great weekend with the boys that was just such a good open who goes to you like yeah i guess i don't know i never thought of it that way huh you want to hang out in poland let like food go bad in your fridge and hang out there

427.171 - 429.094 Ari Matti

I got a bad avocado if you want it.

429.334 - 430.616 Kevin Ryan

Ari, how the hell you been, man?

430.997 - 433.741 H. Foley

Good, yeah. How you guys been?

Chapter 4: Have you ever missed a flight?

2054.759 - 2069.886 H. Foley

Have you ever missed a flight? Yeah. Are you kidding me? It's 50-50 every time. I'm so like... Why? I don't know how... Dude, time is a weird thing where it's like sometimes it's so fast and sometimes so slow.

0

Chapter 5: What are the challenges of time perception?

2069.926 - 2071.089 Kevin Ryan

I like the way he's living.

0

2071.109 - 2077.285 H. Foley

Because I don't even know, like sometimes I'll get up at 8 for a 10 o'clock flight. I'll be there like half an hour early. I'm like, how did this happen?

0

Chapter 6: Do you ever experience anxiety?

2077.666 - 2083.618 H. Foley

Next time I wake up at 7, I missed the flight. What is that? You can't tell me time is same. It's relative.

0

2083.638 - 2087.664 Ari Matti

It's a good point. I mean. It's crazy. You've got good points, dude. You really do.

0

2087.684 - 2092.631 Kevin Ryan

Do you ever have anxiety or anything like that? Or what? Or anything. I don't think so.

0

2092.651 - 2093.832 Ari Matti

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no.

0

2093.852 - 2099.5 H. Foley

You do? You get anxiety? Yeah. Do you worry if you miss that flight? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I have a full panic attack.

2100.501 - 2101.963

I'm always worried. This ain't easy.

2101.983 - 2106.069 H. Foley

It's not my fault. It's not like I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. La, la, la.

2106.089 - 2106.189

Okay.

2106.209 - 2112.65 H. Foley

Catch me if you can. I'm not that guy. I'm worried. I'm fucking. Oh, fuck. But then time goes so quick sometimes.

Chapter 7: How does Ari feel about his dating experiences?

2112.69 - 2113.131 H. Foley

It's crazy.

0

2113.151 - 2118.378

You literally look at a watch like, okay, okay, okay, okay, two hours. What? I just sat here. That'll give you.

0

2118.398 - 2124.527 H. Foley

It's weird when shit does that. Sometimes it goes so slow. And then sometimes you talk to your wife and you're like, whoa, what the fuck?

0

2124.587 - 2135.823 Ari Matti

We've been here for hours, two minutes. Oh, my God. Okay. I would have pegged you for a little bit more showing up early, being on time. Oh, no, no, no. Being on time. Look at what happened.

0

2135.843 - 2137.986

This kid's a loose cannon. I know. You weren't late today.

2138.106 - 2151.316 H. Foley

I was late even to my high school. Dude. I have a memory of high school graduation, not graduation, the exam. You have to do like, what do you examine? SATs we call them. So that's the unanimous. I don't even know.

2151.336 - 2156.849 Ari Matti

The score. Just took a shot at that. Yeah, everybody. Well, yeah, the SATs are like the nation, everybody kind of thing.

2156.869 - 2180.217 H. Foley

But these are different subjects. Yeah, it's English and math. English and math. We do like two mandatory. I think it's math and then literature. And literature, it's like you have to write an essay or something about a topic. Yeah, they had that. Yeah, yeah. And that is the most crucial part. See, that's another thing. You can get creative on that. I didn't know nothing. The topic was like...

2180.973 - 2185.184 H. Foley

like the vendetta or something. I did my own thing.

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