Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. We're taking bad taco meat, respecting your homies and singing to shazam! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Best of AYG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8bt-D-ZN4&list=PLCJp1IfokN9Cy1Hi79LSGAykCKfRDM_y9 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Pestie: For 10% off your order, go to https://pestie.com/ayg Lucy Goods: http://lucy.co/garbage Promo Code: garbage Harry's: Get Harry’s right now for just $6 at https://harrys.com/AYG Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? #comedypodcasts #comedians #podcastshow #comedypodcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What shows are Kevin and H. Foley performing live?
Yeah, we're coming to San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Burlington, Boston, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore, Philly, Rochester, and Toronto. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. We'll see yous on the road. Yeah.
Chapter 2: What is the premise of Are You Garbage?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Hey. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that have to grow up to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
Woo!
Get in while the getting's good. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He's what we call the CEO of Are You Garbage? He's an international businessman. Let me tell you this. He's got the boys on Wall Street nervous and the fat cats on Main Street singing his praises. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang? Shout out to you. First of all, as always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify. Spotify, and then also the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. So I'll show you garbage.
You go over there, you get up to, I mean, you sign up today, you get, I don't know, the past four years of bonus content. We're talking like, what is that? It's like 400 episodes. You get for five, for 10 bucks, you get 400 episodes. That ain't too shabby. Also. What do you got? Back on the block. Poor tickets obviously are on sale right now. You go over there.
We got San Fran, Portland, Seattle, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at the motherfucking Met.
Let's go.
Biggest show we've ever done. And then Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Canada. Get those tickets. Boys are coming out hard in the fourth quarter of the year, aren't we? Coming out swinging. I got to pay. Holy shit. Right before bonus time. I got to pay for this baby somehow. How you doing? Man, these things ain't freaking cheap.
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Chapter 3: Is it acceptable to use taco meat for breakfast?
I did buy cheese, but I didn't put it in there. Leeks. Now I forget. Something else. You know what a leak is? Yeah. Okay. Uh-huh. I got one at the house. Fucking drywall is fucked. Yeah, I used to work produce. I used to work as a cashier. I didn't know all the produce. They didn't fucking sell leaks and acne until three years ago. What are you talking about? I had to take a test.
Which, I've said this before, that was the most nerve-wracking week of my life. Some fat-ass fucking guy testing me on vegetables. It's like, hey, buddy, why don't you put the Cheez-Its down and try a leak? You're over at Sylvan Learning Center for two weeks trying to get ready for this? So, whatever. So now I got, it was this morning. We had to be in here bright and early.
You had hamburger for breakfast? Well, hold on. I put some, so I, oh, when I did it, I did some taco seasoning in there. I like that. Right? So then for breakfast, I made three scrambies and I'm looking. Really? And I threw the taco meat in there. Listen. Which, listen, hold on. Obviously, whatever. It didn't feel right. Dude, the second I opened up the container, and I didn't do a thing.
I just opened it up and dumped, and half of me forgot it was taco season, and I got a whiff of that, and I was like, this feels like I'm at dinner right now. It's too early. Dude, this is like 7.15. This is 7.15 in the morning. I'm eating taco meat. It was bad.
A little breakfast chili?
It didn't feel right.
Have you ever done that? Obviously, it's left or whatever. No, but I like it. I'll be honest with you. I like it. I'm burping up like I just had a gordita.
It ain't good, dude. It's bad news. Starting your day. Kippy Crunch Supreme. There's too much sodium in there? Something. Something. I don't get it because it's like, you know, it's meat. It's protein.
Why isn't there a ground beef omelet? You know, why isn't there a burger omelet? You've had that? Sure.
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Chapter 4: What are the pros and cons of breakfast tacos?
That's brilliant. Yeah, that's pretty smart, man. Because what I would have to do back when I was... I have a phone charger on me. Fuck! It's not an iPhone 4. I need the old iPhone 4. I think we should see other people. I remember many a times entering my wife's credit card into my Uber account. Oh. I remember standing on third ave. Or no, second ave. It was like second and second.
And I was so broke. And she's like, all right, let's get an Uber home. And I was still in the wooing phase at this point. I think I started crying. You see the city. I think I started crying. Really? I was just so, yeah, I was just down bad. Started crying? Maybe not crying. Frustrated.
Still have the nerve to go home and try to make love to her? I think it was her birthday, too.
I stink. I'm bad with money.
You're trying to pitch a threesome just so you get the cab fare home?
Seems like a good guy.
Hey, buddy, what do you say you knock him in his home? Come up to my place. What do you think of this broad ear, huh?
Uh, yeah, that I respect. That's a good one. I guess I didn't really, the times when I was really broke, the Apple Pay and all the apps weren't necessarily. Now you can go, my phone's dead. Somebody get me. You know, which were, I'll Venmo you this week. You know, I'll do that later.
Have you ever forgotten your wallet?
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Chapter 5: How do you handle a dry wedding reception?
I don't hate the breakfast or dinner. You know what would be nice is at the end of the wedding if you did something like that. Like at the go plate?
Yeah. Or like pre-wrapped bacon, egg, and cheeses or something? Yeah. Then you're on the ride home fucking munching one?
I wanted to do that, but I got nixed. Got shot down on that. What'd you want to do? I wanted to do like McDonald's or something like that for everybody on the way out the door. But breakfast. I wanted to do breakfast because it was late.
It's about $1,000 for 100 people. Okay.
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Yeah, I honestly, no jokes aside, no lying for the ad. I used it last night, and I'll tell you, it comes in a box. It's got like a pump on it. You press it. It's got a bag in it. You fill the bag up with water up to the line. Then you take the little canister. It's like a little eyedropper type thing. You dump that in, mix it up, put the tube. Like a real bug man.
Yeah, and then you walk around, spray it. It's like, whoo! Right around the edge of your house all the way. I felt like a man. And you're spraying it. Done. Bada bing. Throw the stuff out. Keep the sprayer. You're out in an hour. There's no like you got a bug. You're not bug bombing or nothing. You don't got to worry about the animals. You let it dry an hour. You're good to go.
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Chapter 6: What are the costs associated with a trip to Disney World?
And they get down there and one thing goes wrong.
Oh, yeah, for sure. One of the kids not having fun.
Kids get into a fight.
What do you got?
I mean, they're saying six to eight grand. Six to eight grand. That's probably on average. Wait, what's the family of four? Well, they said the super budget friendly is $2,200. That's probably if you live local. That's sleeping in your car. Exactly. That's kids bitching. And then up to $15,000. Yeah. That makes sense.
I would probably say you get that. You're going down for four days a week. The room, the food, the fucking restaurants, the souvenirs. You're in for $10,000.
Build a lightsaber or something.
Yeah. You're in for $10,000.
20?
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Chapter 7: How do comedians handle financial struggles?
Chapter 8: What are the best practices for preparing deviled eggs?
It's not like a dippable thing, really. It is.
The whip is. I'm saying the whip is, the egg's not. I don't know how you'd incorporate that. Maybe if you fry them, if you fried the eggs. I know, we're just talking crazy. Are we? I think so.
Are we? That still wouldn't, that'd be, it wouldn't work.
Because they do have fried deviled eggs. I've seen them before. I'm not saying they don't. Or like a Scottish egg. You ever have a Scottish egg? You've had that with Scottish egg. I don't think so. Oh, they're great. They're great. It's a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage, breaded, and then deep-fried. Whoa. We're talking eggs. Oh, I'm sorry. Sure. Taco meat.
Hey, I came here and confessed my sins. Not proud of it. And I don't know if I'd do it again. The seed, it's just like that taco sticks in you. It's everywhere. It's bad. It's like garlic in the morning. You're fucked for the rest of the day. It's all my fingers.
I used to work with a Romanian guy that we would take turns... We're on the docks? What are you talking about? We're going to Romania. Martel's Grill on 50th and 2nd. Shout out to it. It was me and him.
We used to beef all the time because I was usually hungover and fucked up, and I was the day bartender, and he was the waiter, and I would always get pissed when he would go back behind the bar and make his own drinks. We almost went to blows one time. I could see you not liking that.
You taking that as a power move. Yeah, this guy would have beat my ass. Sure. Most broads can, too.
But we used to take turns making breakfast in the back doing eggs. And, like, I would just do regular eggs. He'd come hit me with the fucking, with the Ukraine plate. Fucking, it would be loaded with garlic and beets and shit like that. Chicken head looking at you. No, thank you. Gagging. I didn't know. You ever have eggs with garlic and ketchup on it? Dudes. Oh, man.
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