Don't Get a Bad Tattoo! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast 1h 9m 3 speakers 7 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the show’s format and who's hosting this Are You Garbage? episode?

Kevin Ryan 0:00
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
H. Foley 0:19
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
Kevin Ryan 0:25
Oh, yeah.
H. Foley 0:26
It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that if they're good to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Bruno Satin 0:32
Trash, trash, trash.
H. Foley 0:33
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs making a little bathtub gin. Okay. Yeah. Going to be some rough eyesight around here in the next couple of weeks. All right. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's what we call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. Doing listener questions from the Patreon. My co-host, my best pal. The intro's back. And the whole wide world. He is the king of the burbs. He is the lyrical gangster. No one likes that. You don't like that one? No, no. I'm working on it.
Kevin Ryan 1:06
It doesn't make sense. I kind of like it. Oh, my God.
H. Foley 1:09
I'm screwed. It's in. Kevin, James, Home Depot Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to you as always.
Kevin Ryan 1:18
Please make sure you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing a freaking truck. Can you stop fucking making noises? What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Why aren't they cutting the check over there, by the way?
H. Foley 1:34
We're holding up that goddamn operation.
Kevin Ryan 1:36
Why aren't we cutting his mic, by the way?
H. Foley 1:38
You only got to intro somebody, then keep fucking talking. That'd be fucked up if we gave Luke the power. He's got a cough button over there for it. What do you mean he does have that? You do? You can cut me? Yes. No shit. What do you think all the wires do? You don't got the fucking balls.
Kevin Ryan 1:53
Guys, Patreon, listen, shut up. Shut up. Cut my mic. What were you saying? Nothing. What? Patriot, the thing that pays your fucking bills. Patriot, we got to make more money that you can blow. Patreon.com slash are you garbage. Check it out.
H. Foley 2:11
Got that big special coming out next month, huh? Big special.
Kevin Ryan 2:14
Man, you're really taking fucking, you're really, yes, big special.
H. Foley 2:17
You told me you were going to take the lead in this operation. You're tanking us. Yeah, that's right. We're doing very well, and I appreciate you, and I love you. Wait, I'm the one tanking us? You showed up big for me yesterday.
Kevin Ryan 2:27
Yeah, use the tax money to loan you. That's what we're doing. You can't not stink. That's not true. You do this thing where you elude the stuff, just get it out in the open.
H. Foley 2:40
I got a nice cologne on.
Kevin Ryan 2:41
Gucci.
H. Foley 2:42
Unisex. You don't have Gucci money. Stop. It was a gift.
Kevin Ryan 2:46
From who? Me? Half a bottle. A half a bottle gift. Yeah, I got a left arm. Running with a good crew, huh? Half a bottle gift to Cologne. What the fuck? Uber driver, going to have to get a cup of coffee. There's a Toyota out front. There's a Camry out front, too. Double parked.
H. Foley 3:03
What? Well, I've just been doing the numbers, adding up some things with you.
Kevin Ryan 3:08
That's always good with me.
H. Foley 3:09
No, not that. You know, the mall walk-in, the pizza oven, the suburban lifestyle that you are settling into. Uh-huh. Very, very... Wholeheartedly. You're in.
Kevin Ryan 3:23
I like it. Listen. You are a dad. I'm a dad. I've been doing some math, man. I'm 40. Yeah, I'm 40 years old. I hope it's not on my Venmo transactions. A couple of weeks. It's the second time you brought up your Venmo transactions today. I don't want to know what's in. Cut that. Cut that. I hope no one asked me about this over here. No one cares, dude. A lot of buy. Man. What? You got the pool. You so want to tell people things and you bring it up a bunch. Shoehorn it into conversation. No one's asked about ever. Tires premieres August 13th.
H. Foley 3:59
Yeah. Tell everybody that. Check it out on Netflix. The big dog and all the boys. Yes. Fun, fun season. I can't wait for it.
Kevin Ryan 4:05
Whole squad winning.
H. Foley 4:06
Whole fucking squad. Let's go.
Kevin Ryan 4:08
Stavi's got that fucking movie.

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