Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Jim Norton Returns!
Thu, 12 Dec 2024 05:10:00 -0000
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Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Jim Norton! You know Jim Norton from stand up comedy, Opie and Anthony, Jim & Sam w/ Sam Roberts, the Joe Rogan Experience, Sword Fight w/ Nikki Norton, We Might Be Drunk, Stavvys World, Tiger Belly, Whiskey Ginger, Good For You and so much more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ True Classic: https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is Are You Garbage all about?
Chapter 2: Who are the hosts of the podcast?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. Or they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition. She's upstairs washing her dainties. Okay. Her unmentionables. All right. In the bathtub. Okay. Using lava soap.
All right. Okay. That's from our good friend Bridget Mahoney on the old Patreon. The fifth tag got me. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir.
And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest back with us again today. He is a legendary stand-up comedian. He's one of our absolute favorites. He has a brand-new podcast with his lovely wife, Nikki. Mm-hmm. Nikki and Jim over there on the YouTube. You got to check it out.
And you can hear him every morning, Monday through Thursday, 8 a.m., Faction Talk Radio, Sirius XM, Channel 103 with Jim and Sam. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one and the only, Mr. Jim Norton.
Oh, wow. There he is. Jimmy. Oh, guys.
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Chapter 3: What makes Jim Norton a legendary comedian?
Yeah, yeah. Come on. Yeah, what are you doing? And we picked up these two girls, went back to the hotel room, and Jim is pounding like a professional.
Straight hotel room, beds next to each other? Two like double beds. That's sweet, dude.
No, back then, we know. It was a regular small room. And I was wearing all black, and I was dressed like the preacher in the Poltergeist II, and I'm fucking laying there. I love it, girl. What a deep cut. You're all going to die. You're not going to get an erection, Jim. And he was right. I couldn't.
It was shriveled in my pants, and I went down on her for about 40 minutes, and she couldn't have an orgasm. And then I finally went back up to my room with her and just made out. It was embarrassing. Jeez. Jesus. Jim Pound, what a professional. Dude, I mean, I'm not going to be able to get hard for another week here in that story. He had his face at her neck just... A real man.
What would it take for me and you to hook up with two chicks in the same room? A gun. That was a lot of chicken fingers. I was going to say an act of God. For us to pull two chicks together?
Man.
You guys got to have groupies, though. Come on. You guys are hilarious. I mean, we're big with welders.
Guys that make skateboards for us. That's about it. Has the home... I know you guys had work done on the house, but has the home improved or your lifestyle improved now that she's there? Like, does all the silverware match? Is it spotless all the time? All that kind of stuff? Is it more domesticated?
It's more domesticated, but spotless. No, because she's what they call it. She's like a trad wife, but doesn't want to do housework or anything traditional.
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Chapter 4: How does Jim Norton balance marriage and comedy?
That is embarrassing. I was a douche. Gacy should have been the clown I met.
I got the pen in my car. Right this way, Jim.
Here's a picture of me and Rosalind Carter.
You asked for an autograph.
You probably made that guy's year. I did. I still have it, too. Jocko the Clown. Imagine seeing a local clown on a birthday party. This guy's got it. You've got to sign it.
Who's your representation, Jocko?
I might never get this chance again. Meanwhile, he's working at a Pep Boys during the week.
Yeah, I thought he was famous.
That's really good.
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Chapter 5: What funny travel stories does Jim Norton share?
And how do you say the thing that you get your car... That could be too many things. Took? Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't want to. Why? I don't know. You have car. You have health. You have life. Oh, car insurance. Insurance. You didn't go insurance.
Car insurance. Oh, no. Car insurance. Yeah, car insurance is trashy. Car insurance. That's a guy who can't pay the insurance bill. Yeah, car insurance. And how do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes? Crayon. Crayon. Not crayon. How would you say it? I'd say crayon. Crayon? That's like Philly, right? You go to Delaware, yeah. Pack of crayons. Pack of crayons? No, crayon.
You said it proper. I do crown. Like a gentleman. Crayola crowns. No, I would never say that. Fucking queen have it on her head? My dad wasn't the sharpest tool in this shit. Wait, where are you from? You're Philly, too, right?
Outside Philly.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I get it.
Ground beef or hamburger meat? Hamburger meat.
My wife says minced meat, and I want to just drop kick her.
It's European, though. Yeah, it's European. Minced meat.
I'm like, holy, he was fucking 78? No one says minced meat.
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Chapter 6: What are some wild experiences from Jim's past?
What?
Yeah, we did. They gave you what they call a Terminus in the whorehouse in Brazil called the Monte Carlo. That's the nicest name I've ever heard. See if we can get eyes on that. So fancy. Yeah, I was in there with Patrice, and we were wearing our flip-flops. We went every day. Me and Keith were doing 100-milligram Viagras and then just going to this place.
100-milligram Viagras all over the counter in Brazil. That's why you had to stroke. I was just thinking that as I said it. That's too much by accident.
How about checking out the sights or going to Fogarty Chowards? Well, we did that one night. We would see the sights in the taxi on the way. A hundred milligrams a night and just going be three, four girls a night. It was crazy. It was crazy. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like the most famous brothel in Brazil.
There was another one too. I forget what it was called, but the Monte Carlo, there was cops going there. Like it was, there was security. I mean, you had a locker, there was no cash exchange. Like they had a whole system.
Is it only Google business? Tons of articles are written about it. Carmelo Anthony accidentally went there. Yeah. So did Jim.
Me too. Actually, I had a residency there. I thought it was Monte Cristo. I was looking for a sandwich.
I like the Swiss cheese. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, we spent a lot of nights there.
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