Chapter 1: What cities are the comedians visiting for their live shows?
Gang, let me tell you, Portland, Maine, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the boys are coming. We're coming heavy. Grab the squad. Come play a little AYG. Let's have a fantastic time.
Yeah, if you haven't been to a live show, they're absolutely a great time. Ask anything. Anybody. Any of the homies or the bozos. Vet us. Vet us. We're also going to be at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, July 10th. Get your tickets. That's going to sell out. Shout out to Down the Shore. And then the Comedy Works.
We're doing a weekend at the Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado, July 16th through the 18th. Get your tickets. We love you. See you.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? You ain't lying. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's good to be classy. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Yes, I am your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's upstairs playing with Flex Seal. Okay. Got a whole case of it. Said she wants to make a boat just out of Flex Seal.
That's good.
No frame or nothing. Uh-huh. What? That's great.
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Chapter 2: What is the premise of the podcast Are You Garbage?
You son of a bitch.
Okay. All right. Okay. It feels like someone's been huffing that.
I was going to go with the Iceman, that she was upstairs listening to Drake. Iceman's out. Uh-huh. But I said, no, take a swing. Make him laugh. Do it right back in my face, didn't you? You're crazy. Flex seal?
That's just funny. Me and Diesel were just talking about drywall patches. That's where you got that.
No, it's not. I'll tell you something about that. I invented that 15 years ago. I used to put a piece of loose leaf over the holes in the walls and then paint it over. That's old shit. Okay. My coast is coming at you from across the table as we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. Yeah. Kind of. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Get used to it, gang. We got a lot of families coming up. What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. Yes, we are. Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. You can go over there. You get all your bonus freaking content.
Some of you might not know what Patreon is. It's a goddamn app you can download. You can use the browser. You can watch the video. You can do anything you freaking want over there. It's a goddamn app. Or a website. I'm a website guy.
Do you ever, like, I mean, I do this with Luke of, like, I'll be doing stuff and then not realize I've been doing it wrong a lot of, you know, it's just, like, how I learned it or whatever. Yeah. I don't know, just stuff online where he's like, that's how you do it? I'm like, yeah, I don't know.
It works. He used the word sell the other day. That freaked me out.
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Chapter 3: What embarrassing childhood stories are shared?
Cells in Excel. Huh? Excel. Cell. Cell. What? What are you fucking with me? What do you mean? I'm saying the words. You're like, he used the word cell. Cell like C-E-L. Yeah. A lot else. Unpack your adjectives over there. Hold on. I never had a lot. I don't think we started. Why is it so hot in here?
I mean, I never had a laptop. And then the phone got fucked up. I had to go to the fucking. You ever see what Instagram looks like on a laptop?
No, I can't say.
Freaky. I saw that a couple weeks ago.
Whoa, a fucking big month for you. It's all Instagram on the fucking desktop.
Freaky. Can't do shit on there. You can send messages.
I'm sure you figured that out. Can't share nothing.
Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, they want you on the phone.
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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to discussing gas station experiences?
I was. No, no. Not trashing. We were discussing some of your behavior for sure.
You and this person on the phone.
Yeah. Yeah. You know who it was? I assume it was your wife. It was not.
Your brother.
No. My brother. No. What? My dad. You got a phone to heaven. Maybe you didn't make it to heaven. Oh, you say that. It was someone who just left the house.
Oh, Mr. Chamberlain. Yeah. I got to go. What was that all about? I always call him for a yes, man, when you need him. He called me.
You're the only guy who acts like a complete insane person and is like, oh, yeah, you need a yes man if I can throw it on me. I love you, big guy. Yeah. Shout out to that Colin Chamberlain. So I'm on the phone. I'm hanging out at a gas station for 15 minutes on a phone call. Right? And I go in. Suspicious. I just, I for sure looked like a guy hanging out.
Which I would have to guess that phone call at times might have been slightly animated. Yes.
Honestly, I wasn't that upset, but it was, yeah, I wasn't, you know, we weren't, there was a lot of, I looked like a fucking guy who, I looked like, did you ever see an episode of Cops where they pull up and the guy's in front of the gas station?
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Chapter 5: What are the funniest childhood school stories shared?
No school bag was the best. Yeah, just what? I got a handbag, I got a doctor, I didn't bring my bag. Later.
I stopped doing books like halfway through my senior year.
real go-getter yeah uh yeah i didn't like taking anything home i would leave it at home if i knew i was gonna need it the next also my parents were divorced so there was always like uh back and my math books at dad's house my whatever what and sometimes the teacher like why don't you do your homework ago i'm sorry my i left my bag at my my dad's apartment you know
Have you talked to the counselor? I haven't. Okay, well, how are you going to talk to him? The counselor?
Chapter 6: How do the comedians feel about sharing food with family?
Yeah. I'll just give him some sob story. Oh. See, it's cash only, and I don't have my fucking, I walked out without my wallet.
You're just describing the scene from Mrs. Doubtfire when you were here for the first time. He said, which my mom had amoebas.
This is doubtful, honey. Yeah, that's a tough one. Oh, so I'm sorry. The only one I had, she didn't have one thawed out.
Chapter 7: What unique experiences do they have with food and family gatherings?
Yeah, I'm sorry. Please. I had to leave for work in a hurry, so I grabbed a frozen bagel in a Ziploc bag that I knew I was never going to eat. It ended up being thawed out later, and she ate the bagel that day. Wow.
There you go. The very bagel that she used. I respect the move.
That's not bad. Yeah.
Chapter 8: What are the most ridiculous moments involving food discussed?
I doubt it gives off that much coolness though. That's got a thought. That's got a thought. Yeah, but there's no moisture in it. The moisture is what keeps like, imagine like a frozen thing of fucking hamburger meat.
That's hanging on for a while.
A bagel by the time the air gets to it. Can't look that at work though.
Yeah.
You're fucking making sloppy jokes. Jammed up for that. Ingenious. Yeah, there you go. Also, who doesn't want just a fucking bagel midway through the day? Yeah. A little afternoon.
Especially one of them frozen lenders.
That's all we had growing up.
And we needed to toast them.
I remember at one point they kept making them smaller and smaller, and the one side would barely be touching. You know what I mean? It would be like that thick from the hole to the outer ring. What the fuck? I had to eat 15 of these fucking things.
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