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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Trashy Baseball Teams! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

11 May 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main theme of the Trashy Baseball Teams episode?

0.031 - 12.269 Kevin Ryan

Holy moly, New York City and the surrounding areas, Are You Garbage and Friends is back. We're going to be down there at the Comedy Cellar May 18th and June 15th. You got two chances to see us, so come on out.

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12.289 - 20.841 Unknown

Yeah, tickets available at areyougarbage.com. We got some of our favorite guests coming to play AYG with the crowd. It's a small venue, so get your tickets before they sell out. We'll see you there.

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21.496 - 28.486 Kevin Ryan

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

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28.506 - 28.706 Unknown

Hey, yeah.

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Chapter 2: How do Kevin Ryan and H. Foley define being 'garbage'?

28.746 - 49.361 Kevin Ryan

It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they grew up to be classy, or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. Yeah, that's right. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. Unfortunately... Oh, no. And Tootie... Came down with shingles. Ah, geez Louise.

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49.401 - 56.667 Kevin Ryan

Not sure what it is. Okay. But don't go near her. I thought it was shingles. That's all I know. Okay. I don't know what shingles is. Do you?

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56.883 - 79.315 Unknown

Uh, yeah, it's like a, it's a family of the chicken pox. Is it? I think so. God damn it. I was rubbing her back. I think if you had to, I think the one's a precursor. Like it's the chicken pox virus in you. Broad I used to date at, no I'm joking. Is that true? I knew a girl I knew and I had it in high school or something like that. She's got it. Yeah. Who? Tootie. Okay. Yeah. Old broads get it.

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79.636 - 79.736 Unknown

Yeah.

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Chapter 3: What are some hilarious childhood stories shared by the hosts?

79.756 - 82.62 Unknown

She's got it. I think my stepdad, someone had it.

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82.6 - 95.597 Kevin Ryan

My cause is coming at you from across the table. WebMD. This is what we call the family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. I'll tell you that right now. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

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95.617 - 106.691 Unknown

Hey, what's up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the mother frigging charts, daddy-o. We are the charts.

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106.712 - 107.733 Kevin Ryan

We are, yeah.

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107.753 - 110.937 Unknown

Okay? We are the charts. I am Queens Boulevard.

110.917 - 116.382 Kevin Ryan

We reach the end and the beginning. We are. Right in the middle. We are the algorithm.

116.402 - 116.743

Yeah.

117.183 - 118.945 Unknown

Take that, Bezos.

119.245 - 123.249 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, Bezos. You and Zuckerberg. Uh-huh. Fucking dork.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about the Savannah Bananas baseball team?

132.418 - 133.379 Kevin Ryan

I've been thinking about that.

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133.399 - 137.683 Unknown

A pair of stolen boots. Don't ever wear a dead man's boots.

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138.372 - 153.292 Kevin Ryan

My boots aren't stolen, okay? These boots are made for farting. I got them at DSW. DXL. No, no. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I got them at DSW. And they've really worn in well.

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153.372 - 154.494 Unknown

Dork shoe warehouse.

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159.3 - 162.444 Kevin Ryan

Free wedgies on the way out. Hey, hey.

162.464 - 164.447 Unknown

Shove you in a locker, save 5%.

165.102 - 175.976 Kevin Ryan

Catch you in a wedgie on the way down the escalator. Anyway, I've been thinking about that. I really got to keep my mouth shut for a little while.

176.397 - 177.919 Unknown

I got 50 bucks as you don't.

178.139 - 181.523 Kevin Ryan

I really can't talk shit about anybody.

Chapter 5: What unique experiences do they share about live performances?

181.543 - 190.435 Kevin Ryan

I mean, I've been thinking about it. There's not really anybody I can run my mouth about and not be like, who the fuck are

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190.415 - 211.377 Kevin Ryan

you but you know why we love you why because you're gonna do it but i'm not i'm not i'm telling you right now you were just trashing all of us out there you fucking dick i'm not because the fun's not in it when you when you realize when you're like ah fuck uh-huh yeah yeah so anyway how you doing

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212.656 - 230.059 Unknown

How are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good. One thing I do want to announce, obviously, is- Oh, let's talk about this. A little bit of special- No idea what it is. Oh, my God. Yeah, Kippy, tell them. This just came across my desk. Hope this ain't about me. Special announcement for the New York City area. Let's go.

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230.139 - 242.635 Unknown

We are doing some AYG and friends over there at the Comedy Cellar Village Underground. Ooh, in the big room. Yeah, we're doing one. If you've seen them before, they're on our website. We've done them at the Gramercy Theater, stuff like that.

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243.516 - 247.42 Kevin Ryan

We bring a few of our favorite guests to play Are You Garbage with the crowd. Yes.

247.601 - 262.659 Unknown

With us. Yes, with us on stage. It's a good friggin' time. First one is Monday, May 18th. There's very few tickets left for that. It might even be sold out by the time this comes out. Yeah. And then the next one is... But get them. But get them. Obviously.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss their personal financial habits?

262.699 - 264.722 Unknown

What the fuck? Why do you think I'm doing that, man?

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264.862 - 265.022 Kevin Ryan

We know.

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265.002 - 285.289 Unknown

And then the next one will be the following month, June 15th. Get them. It's like a 200-person room. It's very small, very intimate. They will go fast. We've only been doing a little bit of post, a little bit of sending some emails, so get the tickets. Now we're announcing to the goddamn universe they're going to go. Love that comedy cellar. Love the comedy. Love that underground.

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285.309 - 299.696 Unknown

We got some tricks up our sleeve. Some friends are going to be popping in, calling you trash. You guys get to ask your questions. It'll be a good time. So do that. Fun. We're back, baby. We are. Kinda.

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299.716 - 301.539 Kevin Ryan

Depends who you ask.

303.583 - 311.721 Unknown

We're trying. Any attorneys, we're not back. Uh-huh. I got a question for you. What? What? What do you mean?

Chapter 7: What are the hosts' opinions on organ donation and cremation?

312.403 - 327.961 Unknown

You're the co-host. What are you talking about? Talk to each other. Yes. What? How do you? I don't think we've ever, you know, you're a bit of a hater. Yeah, I would say that. You were going to push back. Nah, I'm not pushing back no more. Right? You're a bit of a hater.

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328.161 - 328.762 Kevin Ryan

Yeah. Right?

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329.043 - 333.049 Unknown

Duly noted. For fun and also actual some vitriol hate, which we all have.

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333.209 - 342.984 Kevin Ryan

Yeah. And, you know, a lot of times it is misguided. And I'll turn hard. You know what? I like that guy.

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343.144 - 343.465 Unknown

Yeah.

343.625 - 346.309 Kevin Ryan

I just had that with somebody. I can't remember who it was.

346.289 - 347.834 Unknown

Oh, with people, for sure.

347.874 - 348.155 Kevin Ryan

Yeah.

348.335 - 356.139 Unknown

There's been people that you've hated. Like, ah, fuck that guy. And then we've had them on. You're like, that's the nicest guy. That guy's awesome. This was an actor that I didn't like.

Chapter 8: What final thoughts do they leave the audience with?

367.296 - 371.923 Kevin Ryan

But, yeah. I had that with Pattinson for a long time. Robert Pattinson.

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372.584 - 381.659 Unknown

Well, he was introduced in a very, like, queefy kind of manner. And I was older. I don't know, but apparently he's a fantastic actor. Oh, my God. Yeah.

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381.719 - 385.133 Kevin Ryan

Tenet, he's great, even though that movie, come on, what are you doing?

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385.836 - 386.66 Unknown

I enjoyed it, but I get it.

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386.68 - 411.849 Kevin Ryan

I need a two Excedrin after that. Nolan, pull it back a little bit. The Devil All the Time on Netflix. He did this crazy southern accent, which was unbelievable. Also, Tom Holland in that. Fantastic. Love that Spider-Man. And, yeah, Batman, you know? Sure. The Batman. So I do that a lot. But what's your point? This is more of a... Jesus Christ.

411.869 - 421.917 Unknown

What the fuck? Here's something else. Oh, what's your point? Like, we're not fucking pod. We're not six minutes into a podcast.

421.997 - 423.32 Kevin Ryan

And what's your fucking problem?

423.34 - 424.403 Unknown

That we do together.

426.709 - 429.958 Kevin Ryan

And what about it? Yeah, I got some issues.

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