Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a Trashy Christmas Special! We're opening presents, shaming the ones we love and answering your Christmas questions! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: To get this new customer offer, go to https://mintmobile.com/garbage VIIA: Try VIIA! https://viia.co/GARBAGE and use code GARBAGE! Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the best mobile plans for the holidays?
gang before we get the episode started let's talk to you about mint mobile baby you heard us talking about it one of the best in the biz mint mobile 15 a month when you sign up absolutely fantastic 5g network you like that ryan reynolds sure go look again get mint mobile
Yeah, to get this new customer offer, go to mintmobile.com slash garbage. $45 upfront payment is required, which is the equivalent of $15 a month for the first three months on plans only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. A little show where we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's good to be classy. Yeah. Or to do just a big old piece of trash.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
That's right, baby. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. Merry Christmas to everybody. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She has started the holiday off on the wrong foot. Oh, God. A little trip to the emergency room. Okay. She says it's her back. But I know her guy's out of town. It sounds like drug-seeking behavior. Exactly.
What the security guard at Lankanall told me. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. And I'll tell you what, he's a gift that keeps on giving all year long. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang? First of all, happy fucking holidays.
Get you a sleigh and some reindeer.
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Chapter 2: Who are the hosts of Are You Garbage?
Those old navy bottoms and a starter jacket.
No, we do jeans. Most guys do jeans and a sweater. That's what we're doing. And it just seems, I don't know, it's like just put on a pair of, it's not for me. It's cold out there. It's just what I'm talking about. I'm not putting my best foot forward. So you didn't do it? I didn't do it. Most of the guys didn't do it. The kids did.
But I was just like, all the girls, you know, my sisters and sister-in-law, they're like, oh, we're doing it. I'm like, I ain't fucking, I'm not sitting there, grown man. That's like what you wear to Franklin Mills Mall to cop a bag. Sure, sure. That's what you use to go steal polos from the factory outlet. I'm not wearing that shit. You're on the body cam. I was Christmas shopping.
What are you talking about? I'm not doing it. And also, too, we have our annual Sullivan Christmas party, which is about 200 people. I thought this is what you were talking about. Oh, they want to do this for Christmas Eve.
Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
No, I'm not sitting there with all my cousins and shit.
Oh, well, that's nice.
You could do that.
Someone shows up in boxers and a beater. I'm going to take a dump. I'm sorry. I was confused. No, not that one. I know you do the annual Christmas party with the whole family. I thought you meant all them wanting you to show up. You can't be drinking at a fucking VFW in fucking pajamas.
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Chapter 3: What funny holiday mishaps do the hosts share?
That's concrete reinforced. Once you get the mold out of the house, you better be fucking putting out Zaz like Chrissy Pizza. I'm looking forward to it.
So this year we wanted to do something a little more nostalgic. So we got each other gifts as a team. So me and Foley got Luke gifts. Luke and Foley got me gifts. Me and Luke got Foley gifts.
Yeah.
And I think I knocked it out of the park.
With everybody? On you, if I'm being more specific. Well, you better. I'm going to be very difficult to be around. Listen, I am known for throwing tantrums. I know. I told the story on Honeydew about the Christmas that I was playing with my brother's toy because I didn't get what I wanted, and my parents ended up getting into a huge fight, and my dad pulled out of the driveway for a couple hours.
And my mom laid there on the couch listening to Lionel Richie. And she got that album that year. I can't hear that song without having a fucking massive panic attack. All night long. Screaming. Hello! Just sends me right into it.
That's what the holidays are about, baby. That's right. Trauma. Repressed feelings. I was talking about my mom. We were down there. We were talking about how my wife is very interested. She's never met my father, my wife. Obviously. She's very interested in the breakdown of what the relationship has been. And Christmas, we were talking, it was always such an indicator of how the year was going.
for the family unit. Got you. Because some years it'd be me, my brother, and my sister go over there. We'd wake up at my mom's, whatever, whatever. My brother and sister, as they were older, we'd all drive over. Then it'd be like it'd just be me and Danny one year because her and my sister and him were beefing. Then it would just be me. Then it would just be Dan.
It was like there was one Christmas where we were all together. Would he decorate it all over there? Yeah, he did a treat. It was always too big. That was about it. That was really what he did. Single dad getting the big tree. Yeah, he had to really wow us. Hey, here you go. Here you go. He'd sit there. Stole this from the mall. He would sit there and crank heaters while we opened presents.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts celebrate Christmas with their families?
How are you guys getting these open, by the way? We're not slow children. Buddy, you can't open these up. You think you're going to figure out the Simon?
Who the hell's that guy? That's my boy Bill. Oh, this guy right here? This is Snowjob or something like that. Okay. I had his vehicle. It's called a snowball in my videos. Wow, that's fucking awesome. All the 80s kids out there, these are great fellas. That's fucking awesome.
Did the K-Man do it or did the K-Man do it?
The K-Man did it. I don't know about this dude, though. Guy looks like he's on peyote, dude. Wow. We'll put a couple of these up.
Yeah.
I'll see which ones are my favorites.
I know you like playing with them.
Wow.
I just didn't know enough about them, but I like the fact that there was an eclectic group. That's why I got them.
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