Armchair Anonymous: Stalking II

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard 48 min 5 speakers 2 chapters transcribed
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What happened in the opening of the podcast?

Dax Shepard 0:00
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman. Hi. Stalker Part 2.
Guest 0:23
Scary.
Dax Shepard 0:24
Scary. They are scary, but these were not as scary.
Guest 0:29
It's always pretty scary.
Dax Shepard 0:30
It's always pretty scary.
Guest 0:32
But you can listen.
Dax Shepard 0:33
Yeah. And there was a guy. We liked having a guy.
Guest 0:35
Yeah, we do like that. I mean, it was still scary.
Dax Shepard 0:38
It was still scary. It's a different version of scary, but it's scary.
Guest 0:41
Yeah, and you know what? It's perfect timing because I'm watching you. We didn't even plan this. The universe, the Sim, is so sparkly.
Dax Shepard 0:48
It's laughing up a storm, yeah. It's got a sense of humor.
Guest 0:51
It really does.
Dax Shepard 0:52
Yeah. Please enjoy Stalker Part 2. Hard times come and go.
Monica Padman 1:16
Hello.
Dax Shepard 1:17
Hello. You're my first Lindy.
Monica Padman 1:19
Yes, it's a very unique name.
Dax Shepard 1:21
Am I your first Dax?
Monica Padman 1:22
Yes, not my first Monica.
Dax Shepard 1:24
Not my first Monica sounds like not my first barbecue.
Monica Padman 1:28
Sure, or rodeo.
Dax Shepard 1:30
Yeah, not my first rodeo, not my first barbecue.
Monica Padman 1:32
This is my first Armchair Anonymous interview.
Dax Shepard 1:37
Yes. Have you ever called a radio station or anything?
Monica Padman 1:40
No, I've never. And this was my first story I submitted.
Dax Shepard 1:42
Oh, wow. It's good conversion odds. Okay, so you have a stalking story.
Monica Padman 1:48
I do have a stalking story. Also, before we get started, I'm just going to mention my mom, Jennifer, and my sister, Erica. They're also armchairs with me, and they feature in this story. And my mom wanted to say to you, Dax, that she's just very grateful for you always being honest in your recovery and sobriety. She's nine years sober as of this year. Oh, wow.
Dax Shepard 2:08
Fuck yeah.
Monica Padman 2:09
And my sister, she's two years younger than me. She wanted me to say that she's regularly in the top 1% of listeners. She's a badass horse rider, works on a farm, and she's always listening to you guys.
Dax Shepard 2:20
Does she have powerful legs?
Monica Padman 2:22
Yes, she does CrossFit. I mean, there's nothing she can't do. Wow. Cool. She's the athletic one. So the story does take place in Washington, but Western Washington, about 45 minutes south of Tacoma. It was my senior year of high school about 10 years ago. I had just turned 18 in December. And Monica, my junior year, our cheer team won state. I was on the cheerleading squad. Oh my God.
Dax Shepard 2:49
And you don't describe yourself as the athletic one? That feels discounting.
Monica Padman 2:53
Definitely not compared to her. I love a good dance routine, but put me in any other kind of coordinated situation. It's not my jam. Did you guys do stunts and stuff? We did do stunts. We were not a tumbling squad, but we did stunts and had a great routine. Nice. Congrats. Yeah, that was exciting. So a lot of stuff was going on. That spring, I started receiving strange friend requests on Facebook. And I didn't recognize the name. It said Joe Smith. But the profile picture was a picture of a penis. Okay.
Dax Shepard 3:22
That's not a great way to make friends. Or maybe it's a great way to make the kind of friends you want. I don't know.
Monica Padman 3:28
To be more specific, the penis was a micro penis. Oh, boy. Wow. Okay. I've never seen anything like that.
Dax Shepard 3:35
I want to see really bad now, of course.
Monica Padman 3:37
Then check my Messenger app on Facebook, and I had message requests from this profile. Most of them saying things like, hey or hi. I think one of them said something kind of creepy like, do you like what you see referencing the picture? Oh. But I just deleted these. I honestly thought it was spam or someone messing with me at school. I didn't think it would be anything crazy. So a few months go by and a family friend calls my mom and says, Hey, I've been getting friend requests from this person, Joe Smith, on Facebook. His profile's normal. I asked how he knows me and he said he knows you, Jennifer. I overhear this and I say, Oh, I know that name. That's... Joe Smith is profile with this penis picture. Her jaw dropped and she says, that's Joe Smith, our neighbor.
Brittany 4:27
Wow.
Dax Shepard 4:29
How old was the neighbor?
Monica Padman 4:31
He was probably in his 30s, lived with his mom, and we didn't interact with him a lot. But I knew his first name, but I didn't know his last name. So we contacted the police, but I didn't have any evidence. I deleted the friend requests. I deleted the messages. And I was over 18. I think if I was a minor, it would have been a bigger deal.

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