Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous, best of Friday's 2025 edition.
All times come and go. Good times take them slow.
From episode 968, Wild Card 9. Christina?
Yes, hi.
How are you?
Good, how are you guys today?
Wonderful. Where are you?
I live in New Hampshire. Oh, lovely. We're hitting some new spots today.
Yeah, we are.
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Chapter 2: What wild card story is shared?
So I helped myself to one of those. We got everybody back in the car. I poured it through the spout of my water bottle, and we continued on our way back up to New Hampshire. So it was an uneventful evening. We went to bed. Alarms went off the next morning and it was Monday. So I have about a 35 minute commute to work.
And so one of my routines in the morning is that I bring coffee and water in the car and I force myself to basically have a sip of coffee and then a sip of water, mostly just to feel adequately hydrated and adequately caffeinated before I get to work every day.
Yeah.
And my nine-year-old son frequently makes my coffee in the morning. And let's just say that quality control is not his forte.
Sure, sure, sure.
That's so sweet, though.
A lot of variety in each morning's batch.
So on this particular morning, about six minutes into my drive, I have kind of a gritty piece of something in my mouth. This isn't super out of the ordinary for me. Again, coffee grounds are a frequent thing that I find in my coffee. So I pick it out of my mouth and it's white, not brown.
Oh, interesting.
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Chapter 3: What unexpected events occur during the trip to Boston?
Is it broken ceramics?
No, it's in a stainless steel coffee mug. I continue on with my drive. I also noticed that my water tastes a little funky this morning. So I'm really wondering what is in my coffee today because the water just didn't taste quite right. But again, it was the fancy alkaline water from the night before. Drank my whole coffee, drank my water all the way to work.
So I work in a healthcare office, and so I see patients all day long. So I had a really busy day, patients back to back. Mid-morning, I stop and I fill up my water at the water cooler. And I noticed near the spout of the water It almost looks like tiny calcifications where you put your mouth. And I think maybe it's lip gloss. I don't know. I scratch at it a little bit. Nothing comes off.
So I make a mental note to just make sure to soak my water bottle when I go home for the night. I continue through my day and head home around 5.20. So when I get home, I'm there with my 12-year-old daughter, and I bring my water bottle over to the sink.
I squirt some water right through the spout where I found those calcifications, and I flipped my water upside down just to let it soak for a little bit to get it real clean. About five minutes later, I unscrew the lid, and I dump my water into the sink. And what came out? A soaking wet. Stiff as a board. Dead. No! Mouse. No!
Ow!
No! How? Oh, Monty's fucking shook.
Monica, I sent Emma a picture. No!
When and where did a mouse get in there?
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Chapter 4: What shocking discovery is made at the end of the story?
Oh, my God. So this is a cautionary tale. It is a very cautionary tale.
It's a PSA. So you didn't have the top on.
So the size of the opening was less than the size of a dime to put it into perspective. And I'm assuming that I must not have completely screwed the cap on. So it can squeeze that tiny. Yes.
He's like an octopus.
Ew.
But I'd rather have an octopus in my water than a mouse. Me too.
People eat that. Mouse water all day long. Don't say mouse water. Seven refills, Monica. What? Did you call 911?
You had filled it up seven times with that mouse in there?
I think because it was so dead and its legs and arms were pushing out. Stop. It didn't shift back and forth. I don't know. Christina. So my dear husband, he is a sweet man and he bags up the mouse in a plastic bag and then puts it in a brown paper bag. and sends me off to urgent care with Exhibit A in a brown bag.
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Chapter 5: What unexpected situations can arise in nursing?
But you kind of know what you're getting into.
I mean, do you? I can't imagine you think, like, I'm going to show up and someone's legs are going to be falling off real time.
That's really out of a... Someone will have cut off their legs and put horse legs on them.
Right, a horse transplant.
Who could be ready for that? I wouldn't put it past somebody.
Our last question, because when we interviewed nurses, they all have a foreign body and rectum story.
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Chapter 6: How do nurses deal with humorous but serious patient stories?
Did you respond to any of those?
Yes.
Oh!
wow twofer i've seen a wine bottle okay with the cork or without i don't know because i didn't take it out okay yeah it's gotta be empty i would guess there's three options there's a wine bottle corked there's an empty wine bottle and there's a wine bottle they're like you drank some and then you put the stopper in that seems craziest to me because the fluid could pop up yeah maybe that's what they like yeah it's kind of a two-for-one deal
Maybe they put a champagne bottle in there. Then you pop the cork and it explodes right when you're. Oh, that's kind of.
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Chapter 7: What are the challenges of handling emergency situations?
That sounds eventful.
I haven't seen that yet.
But someone did have a wine bottle and you put them face down on the stretcher, I guess.
We had them on their side. Face down technically is like a airway issue.
Did they make any explanation as to what had happened or no? Just I need to go to the hospital.
I feel like people either really overcompensate for it and try to say like, I was cleaning and I tripped and I fell.
There's a Sedaris story about the people say they tripped and fell. And he's like, I'm so clumsy. I've fallen down naked many times, never stood up and there was a candle in my ass.
Not one.
What's the second version?
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Chapter 8: How do personal experiences shape perspectives on medical incidents?
Are you done with that line of work?
No. So I'm still doing it now. So I work in an emergency room and I started nursing school this fall.
Oh, great.
I can't wait for you to watch The Pit. You're gonna love it.
Well, Daphne, this was a delight. This is among the very worst stories we've heard. What an accomplishment.
I'm so glad. Well, thank you so much for your time and for having me. Can I give a quick shout out?
Of course. We love shout outs.
I just want to shout out Caroline, Tate, and Emily, my three favorite people. I love them so much. And to you guys, I just want to say that sometimes when you work in this field, the drive home can be kind of tough. If you have a bad day, that's kind of when you start like reflecting and things can feel a little heavy.
So whenever that happens, I always put on armchair and it makes me feel so much better. So I just want to thank you guys for bringing some levity to that. I can't take that in knowing what you've done for the world.
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