Darby Saxbe (on Dad Brain)
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What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, experts on expert. I'm Dax Randall Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman. This was a big exception. As you know, UCLA and USC are rivals. They're the enemy if you went to UCLA. But I got over that so that we could host our guest, who is a professor at the University of Southern California, clinical psychologist and tenured full professor at the University of Southern California, Darby Saxby. Also my favorite name of a guest I think we've had.
Great name.
Darby Saxby. What a fun, fun name. She has a new book out called Dad Brain, The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men's Lives.
This is really important stuff.
Yeah, as she will tell us in this, although historically only men have been researched for medicine, which is an atrocity.
How does Darby Saxbe's background influence her perspective on fatherhood?
Mostly only women have been researched for parenthood.
Correct.
So that's the counterbalancing disparity. And so she has studied men, thank God. And she's studied dads. And now we've learned a lot about it. And it's very exciting.
It's really fascinating chemically, like what goes on. Yeah.
Dad bod. We get a scientific explanation of dad bod. We sure do. Finally. Please enjoy Darby.
Saxby.
Boom.
He's an object expert.
Nice to meet you.
Very nice to meet you.
Hey. Oh, my pleasure. Hi.
Look how many items you have.
I really brought a lot of stuff.
Hi. Nice to meet you. Yeah.
Yeah.
What disparities exist in research between fathers and mothers?
You know, you never know how much downtime you'll have. So I figured I could do some grading.
You're thinking ahead.
Sure. We're in Ohio because, you know, I'm right up the street from you. I think you'll be the guest we had. Yes. And were you in the shadow of Cedar Point?
Oh, of course. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, how close to Sandusky were you?
So I'm from Oberlin. So it's like a small college town. It's between Toledo and Cleveland.
Right. As is Sandusky.
As is Sandusky.
Yeah, yeah.
And yeah, you know your Cedar Point well. Oh, come on.
Yeah. It's my religion.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Did you have a season's pass because you were so close?
You know, my parents were nerds.
Yeah.
So we actually didn't go there that often, even though it's really close. But my mom now has a house on Lake Erie.
Oh, wonderful.
And so we go every summer for like a month. And it's like one of the only things to do with the kids is take them to Cedar Point.
How old are your kids?
They're 14 and 17. Oh.
Oh, deal. They run wild there.
Yeah, they love it.
Cheese on a stick, the cable ride. I'm so happy for them. I'm ashamed that I haven't brought my kids to Cedar Point yet. Honestly, it crosses my mind. I'm like, I'm not doing a good job as a parent.
Yeah, you're failing.
Yeah. Last year, we went to Dollywood for the first time.
We're going in June. You are? Yes. So my book tour is a road trip to Dollywood. Oh. So it's a book tour, college tour, road trip to Dollywood. It's like a triple purpose book tour. Oh, this is fun. So we're going to drive from New York down to Tennessee.
Okay.
And stop along the way in D.C. I'll do some book stuff there. My daughter's going to look at some colleges.
To her mom Vernon. Yeah.
Exactly. Yeah, we're going to go to Charlottesville, look at UVA, which is where my husband went. Great school. Totally great school. And then we culminate at Dollywood.
This is the huge upside of being a professor, is you have a summer, man. Lucky kids. Okay, so mom and dad, both doctors. One's a surgeon, one's a... Internist. Okay, so as a kid, they were married to what age for you?
I was nine when they got divorced.
Okay. How many siblings?
So I have an older half-sister and then two brothers who are my full brothers. So my dad has four children altogether. My mom has three.
Okay. So when they met, he had already been married and had a child.
Exactly.
Okay. Now, this is very scandalous by all accounts.
Yes.
Your mother had a patient.
Yes.
Okay, please tell us.
Yes. So she treated a patient who was dying of cancer. And cancer treatment often takes a long time. And she fell in love with the patient's husband during that process.
Wow. David?
And I think that was with the sort of awareness and consent. I don't know the full story because I was a kid when all of this happened.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is discussed at the start of this section?
0:00–0:49
2
How does Darby Saxbe's background influence her perspective on fatherhood?
0:49–1:47
3
What disparities exist in research between fathers and mothers?
1:47–7:44
4
How do societal changes affect modern fatherhood?
7:44–56:19
5
What role do dads play in children's development?
56:19–57:05
6
How do parenting styles differ between mothers and fathers?
57:05–57:45
7
What impact does fatherhood have on men's health and longevity?
57:45–58:35
8
How can societal views on fatherhood change for the better?
58:35–1:47:52