Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Ding, ding, ding. That'll come up in the fact check, Lily. Ding, ding, ding. And in the episode, Lily.
That's right.
Today we have, boy, one of the cutest guests we've had in a very long time. He's such a charming, talented kid. Cute, fun-loving, effervescent, life-affirming. Ah, Marcelo Hernandez. You know him from Saturday Night Live. He was in Happy Gilmore, too. He has a stand-up special out right now that is so fun and unique and has such a vibe called American Boy on Netflix. So check that out.
And really, just prepare to be charmed for the next two hours.
It's so fun. This is such a fun episode.
Please enjoy Marcelo Hernandez. Let's have a boundaries conversation.
Oh, God.
Before we proceed.
I prefer physical touch. Me too. I'm loud in that way. Do you have a place here? No, I just came for this. Why are you in that sweet Panamera? I wanted one and I never got it. So I just rented it.
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Chapter 2: What unsponsored gift selections does Marcello share?
Like two rows behind me, I hear this little voice go, oh my God, I love him. I love him so much. And I turn around and this boy was standing on his seat. He was too excited to remain seated. And he was just screaming, I love him. I love him so much. Will Ferrell has that effect. He really does. You love him. You love him so much.
And then you... Here we go. Don't think I forgot about you. Because I know you like to get cozy, right? I do. I can feel that. Yeah, look at me. I can tell you like to be cozy. So I got you this. I don't want to throw things at you. Oh, no. That's so nice. Okay, this is a nice cardigan. Isn't that cute? Yeah. This is so cute. Maybe you should wear that to the Globes. It's for Christmas.
Christmas is right behind the corner. Look at this. You like that? Girl dinner. Wow, girl dinner.
Because just in case if you have one.
In case I ever have a girl dinner, I can wear this.
You go, it's there, right? By the way, you have no idea how many girl dinners she hosts. That's what I'm saying. I do.
But girl dinner means something different.
Oh, no. What's it mean?
Is it sexual? What is girl dinner?
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Chapter 3: How does Marcello's childhood influence his comedy?
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There was these guys, Bill Squire and Ramon Rivas, who were doing a bunch of local shows. And Ramon knew people from New York. And that was his advice to me was go to New York every once in a while, meet people. This guy, Jim Tooze, I don't know where Jim Tooze is. I haven't heard from him in a while, but he was a funny guy out of Cleveland that moved to New York.
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Chapter 4: What led Marcello to pursue a career in stand-up comedy?
And then the pandemic hits. That's the worst job to have when the pandemic hits is you're standing on the street selling tickets. So the streets are empty. At the time, I'm in Chicago staying on a friend's couch doing shows. I got to pause you. It's insane that all of his success is post-pandemic.
That is wild.
So it feels five minutes ago.
I know, but it's been a while.
It's been six years. So pandemic hits. I have no money. I have $800 to my name. I take it to Miami. My mom makes me fly to Miami. I fly to Miami with all my stuff. I move back in with my mom. I give her $800. She goes, that's nice. and I'm just living with her, and I have a full mental situation. I go mental. I'm moping around the house. I'm not helping. I am obsessed with COVID. I'm obsessed.
I'm spraying everybody. My mom gets back from the supermarket. You got to get naked. Give me the clothes. Give me the clothes. You're doing undies. Give me the clothes. I'm throwing it in the wash. You and my sister, they hate me. These two hate me. It's us three in the house. I'm spraying them. My stepdad is in Puerto Rico. He's working there at the time.
And I'm like just spraying the crap out of them all day long. Spraying everything. I'm spraying my sister. I'm spraying my hands. My hands are dry from all the sanitizer. You were unraveling. I'm a real nightmare. And my mom makes me get a job. So that's when I get a headset sales job.
I'm calling people 65 and over and telling them that through their Medicare, I'm able to take their medications out of CVS and do a home delivery at no additional cost to their insurance. That's right. Sold. And you're working with an assassin, a gal that's clearing six figures. She's unbelievable, Jamila. I'm thinking Jamila's on the phone going, good evening. How are you doing today?
Absolutely not. She goes, hello. I am Jamila calling on behalf of the health center. I am here to reach out. That sounds official. That's smart. That was her move. I was trying to do, hey. Wine and dine them. They don't want that. No. Really? They think you're scamming them. When you're old and you're in Florida, your phone's ringing every 30 seconds with someone trying to rip you off.
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Chapter 5: How did Marcello transition from Miami to New York for comedy?
He had just sold his company. And he wants to do stand-up. I go, I'll sit down with you in your apartment. I'll write down stuff that I think is interesting about you. We'll make you some jokes. So he's giving me 200 bucks as well. So now I'm 200 bucking it. You're building a quilt out of 200 bucks. And then at the same time, I start opening for this guy, Mark Vieira, this Puerto Rican comic.
He's taking me on the road a little bit.
Chapter 6: What led to Marcello's audition for SNL?
And then at the same time, Gilbert Gottfried, I get hit up through a friend of a friend to open for Gilbert. So now I'm opening for a few guys, doing stand-up in Miami, traveling a bit. And Tim Dillon tells me, if you don't move back to New York, I can't keep you as my guy because I need you to be working. I need you to be active. And in Miami, there's just not enough.
So when he tells me that, I'm like, all right, I have to figure it out. And thank God I have another friend that I call and I'm like, hey man, are you thinking about going to New York? He goes, you know what? I am. And he has family money and he's a very, very close friend of mine.
Chapter 7: What emotions did Marcello experience during his SNL audition?
And then he starts sending me apartments and I'm like, oh no. Oh no, no, I can't do that. He says, he keeps going, we'll figure it out. And then I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand. We're at two very different places in our life. Ultimately, he lets me pay him very little money to sleep in his house for one year. in New York. So I moved to New York.
From New York, I'm doing the Zooms with the guy to write the stuff for 200 bucks. I'm doing the Zooms with the other guy to write the stuff for 200 bucks.
Chapter 8: How does Marcello reflect on his upbringing and its impact on his comedy?
I'm doing my videos from my bathroom because people can't know I'm not in Miami because I'm doing a weekly news video about Miami. And those videos start to kind of take off. I do it on the toilet. I sit on the toilet. I thought that would be interesting. And people start to like the videos and it's going better. And then every night I'm doing five, six shows in New York.
Hosting is the easiest thing to get if you want to, because nobody wants to host. So I'm like, I'll host every single show. So I'm hosting all these shows. And then Just for Laughs comes over to New York during this year. The club goes, you've been hosting so much. We want to put you into audition.
Wow.
So they put me down to audition. I auditioned for JFL. I get the callback. I get JFL, which is like a huge moment in my life. I go to Canada for JFL. This is towards the end of the year. I'm figuring out what am I going to do when my rich friend doesn't let me slay on his couch anymore. I'm going to go back to Bushwick. And I go to JFL. I go to Canada at JFL.
I finish my six-minute set, and I meet a producer from SNL. They go, we love your set. I go, fantastic. Thank you. I'm not ready for this. Panic, panic, panic. And then they go, we'd like to see you audition in New York. So I auditioned in, I think it was UCB. And then a few weeks after that, I get a call back. My buddy's like, we have the apartment till August.
And this is just when all this is going down. And I go... You gotta extend the lease. You can't do this to me right now. And he did it. He's just helping me and I'm very grateful for him. My boy Cole, I was at his wedding. I spoke and everything. I love this guy. My sponsor. So I do this thing at the UCB. I call my mom after. She goes, how'd it go? I go, I don't know, mom. My mom's freaking out.
My mom starts smoking cigarettes again.
I'm going back to soccer, mom.
I'm freaking out. And then I get a call back to go to the studio. I go to the studio and do it. I've heard you retell it and zero laughs, right? Yeah, yeah, zero laughs. I might have heard a cough. It could have been a laugh. It sounded like a cough. And then you asked someone else who had auditioned, like, did they laugh? And they're like, yeah. What could be scarier? That's scary.
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