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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I had to make notes for this one. I'm reviewing them really quick. I'm preparing for my class.
No, really, this episode is not a cute, lighthearted, little funny thing. Like this is actually gonna change your life if you deal with feeling stuck in survival mode and feeling hopeless. And I'm not talking like a cute little like, oh, I'm just hopeless about this one little thing. I'm talking about hopeless where you feel like nothing ever works out for you.
Chapter 2: What does it mean to be in survival mode?
Nothing goes right. No one's trustworthy. God hates you. God has like a little vendetta against you or just everything that can go wrong will go wrong. and feeling very prevented in life, that type of hopeless, where you're ready to beat your head against the wall, this is what I just flipped. My soul roundhouse kicked me, body bagged me, and told me, stay down, shut up, learn some things.
So I'm gonna tell you the new awareness that I got. And I was about to say, and hopefully I can flip it for you too, but it's going to, okay? So let's do this. So the thing that got me stuck in survival mode for a hot minute that started to like drive me absolutely insane is feeling like life is unfair.
Chapter 3: How can feelings of hopelessness affect your life?
You've been betrayed, fucked over. It feels like your heart doesn't matter. Like it doesn't matter how good of intentions that you have and how good you help people. You're just left on your own. Nothing goes right for you. Everything seems unfair. And it's like this hatred and rage and feeling prevented by some higher power.
It's like I've had this relationship with God back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I feel like you love me. I feel like you hate me. What did I do? I pissed you off, apparently, because look at my life. Look what you're doing to me. With that level of unfairness that you perceive in life, it leaves you feeling stuck in anger An absolute depression hopelessness.
Like you're nothing but back and forth. The thing that'll kick you into survival mode with life kind of feeling like that is you feel like it's all up to you. You have to do it all. You have to handle it all. And if you try and rely on somebody, good luck, it's gonna go to shit. Even things in your control just seem like sabotaged, weirdly. Like if something could go wrong, go it's wrong.
I fully relate to that experience at a level I've never heard anybody else describe. So the thing with getting kicked into hypervigilance mode, like when you're activated in fight or flight mode, right, survival mode, you're biologically wired to survive. When you see a threat, your body reacts to handle it.
Your mind gets caught in hypervigilance mode when you feel alone in this life, when you feel like no one can help you, no one is trustworthy, nothing can go right for you. And then you have that thought about God of like, you got your foot on my neck. When you feel like you're at odds with a higher power, that is when you're stuck in hypervigilance mode.
You feel like you're up against an opponent that you can't beat. Because for me personally, this is hell for me on earth, is to be who I am, how I am, as physically strong as I am, as violent as I am, as smart as I am, street smart, book smart, I can figure out anything. I can find a way around anything. And when I feel like I can't figure things out, it makes me so angry.
And I feel like with God, I've been like against an opponent that I can't win against because it's like every time you turn around, when you're in hypervigilance mode, it's always a problem. It's always a threat. It's always an issue. And that's all you can see. when you're stuck in hypervigilance mode. You're constantly just scanning for threats.
When you're activated into fight or flight mode, hypervigilant, that's you that kicks on. You're ready to see what's gonna go wrong. You're predicting things that can go wrong. You get stuck in it, and all you start to see is issues. You lose the ability to see anything good.
So to make this sound real stupid, dumb, and like, okay, I understand that, I started thinking, how is it that you experience things as a person? How does a person or a human being experience something? You have to have your awareness on it to experience it. Because things happen all the time everywhere that you are not aware of.
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Chapter 4: What are the signs of being stuck in hypervigilance mode?
that allows you to flip it and get back into being able to see good. Like you have to unhook that vibration at the bottom of hell that you're stuck to of hypervigilance mode and come back up. The tricky thing about being in survival mode, you can be reactivated into it at all times. If you don't feel a sense of safety at all,
And we're going to get into a lot more with this and like how to recognize it and flip it and all that. But if you can't feel safe, you are stuck in that. You're not able to come out of that lower vibration. You're going to keep attracting and manifesting more and more shit that aligns with that, with the identity that you've created.
But I want to talk about things that can activate you, that keep you stuck in survival mode so you don't feel so crazy. You feel like you understand why your brain's doing what you're doing, why you're feeling what you're feeling. Okay, I promise you're not nuts.
Chapter 5: How does hypervigilance impact decision-making?
Okay, so the first thing that activates me a lot when I'm stuck in survival mode and puts me back into fight or flight mode doomsday is any inconvenience. When you're stuck in hypervigilance mode, any amount of normal friction in life will activate you as if it's a personal attack. Nothing is just a coincidence. Everything is an intentional...
attack against you and you see every single thing as more proof of you're unsafe and you need to handle more and do more and protect yourself more. So it's like a vicious little cycle and trap. But with inconveniences that happen, like normal friction in life, I'm talking if it rains outside, I would get to a point where I'm like, of course, of course it fucking rains right now.
And I would take it as like a personal thing. Also with traffic, like at certain times of the day, there's more traffic than others. I would get so irritated in traffic because I thought it was a personal attack. Like, your brain warps when you're stuck in survival mode too long. And no inconvenience is a coincidence. It's all a personal attack on you.
It's all more proof of how things are just bad and wrong for you. I get it. But literally daily life, experiencing normal little friction and normal inconveniences and problems that happen in life, it's not just little things. Everything gets really big. Also with that, another activation is when things go right or go good. It's like if a problem comes up.
Like today, before I recorded this episode, I'm still healing myself and getting myself to see all of this very different. Before I started recording, I was like, I'm freezing cold. And last night, it stormed. So I'm like, outside, it's not... Hot it's a little chilly outside. I'm freezing it.
So i'm like i'm gonna go literally run a bath I usually only take a bath because I don't fit in most tubs I only usually take a bath when I want to feel like comforted or warm up really quick I don't got no sauna in the house. So I run a full bathtub All right, I gotta put my foot in there freezing ice cold. The water is I was like, oh jesus christ what
So I start to panic and my brain starts to doomsday and go 10 steps ahead into negative of the power went out last night. My water tank, my water heater system blew up. Something's wrong with it. It's about to cost me X, Y, Z amount of dollars. I'm about to have all these different plumbers and electricians and all these people trying to come to my house and fix it.
I'm not gonna have hot water for a while. I'm gonna have to go to my sister's to shower every day. So inconvenient. I started going down this whole spiral of how being in survival mode and hypervigilance mode goes. The other kicker on top of all this is both of my cars need service at the same time. So that's fun.
So I go climbing my ass right up in the attic because I'm like, I'm going to go figure out what's wrong with my water tank. Come to find out I don't got a water tank. It's a tankless one. So it's gas. So I start Googling how to figure it out. I find the damn thing. I'm worried I'm going to fall through my ceiling, but I'm up there. I find it. Okay.
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Chapter 6: How can awareness shift your perspective on life?
Like, okay, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But there's no...
attention to the positive of it and i had to assure myself like no leo this is how things go for me this is how things go but when i say reactivated you can get reactivated in that situation of like okay i got out easy on that something else is gonna go wrong because my brain started going there too of like okay that was too easy God's going to fucking punish me.
God's going to fuck me up in some other way. No, there is no God that punishes people. Look at the people on the Epstein list. All of them are still breathing, drawing breath. Okay. God ain't intervening is what I've learned. I'm gonna do another episode soon about things that got wrong about God and my relationship with him. Now he's not a punisher. He's not punishing shit. Okay. Clearly.
So me being who I am and how I am, um,
i'm not eating kids so god is not wasting his time punishing me this is a figment of my own imagination getting rid of that thought of like i'm gonna be punished in some other way that's a reactivation of like okay you got out easy on this one problem you're assuming another one's gonna hit you and blindside you so that's another way you can be reactivated back into survival mode okay the next thing on my list of activations physical safety
People can become a threat. I got to a point a couple of weeks ago where people just walk in by my house. If I could see them out through my blinds, it would trip me. Like I would get on guard. Like any human being would trip me into fight or flight mode because I felt so unsafe and only saw bad shit happening. People taking advantage of me, fucking me over. And wanting to cause harm to me.
Like I was ready at any chance, but your brain, when it gets stuck in that too long, any human being can be perceived as a threat. Your body will register humans as threats. Think of a dog who's been beaten by every person it's been in contact with. Eventually that dog is just going to stay away from people.
Anytime a person walks by that dog, it's going to like either cower and hide or it's going to get ready. Like, yeah, I'm a bite you. So we're kind of similar in that way to other animals. We all survive. Next one is money. Money, when you're stuck in fight or flight mode, you will see nothing but burdens, issues, unexpected expenses, how you don't have enough.
It's going to be nothing but irritation and headache and your livelihood. You need money to live. So that is an activation that will put you back in survival mode nonstop and so many times a day. if you don't get a hold of like and become aware of what's going on.
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Chapter 7: What steps can you take to exit survival mode?
It's here to help you because your soul is trying to stop you to make you see how powerful your mind is so you can fucking use it.
When this whole protection mechanism kicks on of thought of a desire for something and you're immediately stopped by to do it, like your energy is depleted, you're emotionally just like irritated and you don't wanna do it and you see everything in life like that, you're being called back to stop and take control of your mind.
You're reacting to reality and your identity now has been so wrapped up in it
nothing makes sense like for me to have that type of reaction over the thought of trying to get a new couch and that's when you're supposed to see this doesn't make sense something about how i've been seeing the world doesn't make sense because like i said hyper vigilance puts you in a false reality where you only see bad and you only see a negative feeling alone feeling like no one's there for you your soul is literally stopping you
And when I say it's stopping you, it's draining your energy before you even take another step because the steps that you take will further this cycle because you haven't flipped your mind. You're not meant to take any more action. You're meant to stop. You're allowed to stop is the thing. It doesn't matter how bad shit seems and how scared you are to stop. You're supposed to stop.
Your soul is trying to stop you. And if you don't listen, it fully fucking will. It's gonna get your attention and it does it through your emotions. You can never shut your emotions off. Your emotions are your guidance system I've learned in this life. Like it's on my little compass. You can't ever turn that off.
It don't matter how bad you try and break that compass or what substances you pour over it to try and make it point another direction. Your soul communicates with you through your emotions and your intuition.
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Chapter 8: What strategies help in managing feelings of anger and frustration?
It's guiding you at all times and it's guiding you to dead stop fucking sit down because you are too powerful. Your mind is destroying your life. And it's very hard in these moments to trust that how bad you feel is meant to be happening. But it's the truth. You're meant to get to this point. So you start to question things.
I made a little list of a couple of things that my soul was trying to tell me through all this. And it's things that your soul is trying to tell you if you relate to the things that I'm describing with how you feel. So number one. Instead of beating yourself up for all the times in the past, you didn't do things different. Because like I said before, you know what you know now.
And instead of looking at all the shit in the past that you could have done, should have done, would have done, you're looking at that through a lens of you're the only one who could have helped yourself. No. Look back at all the times you did not listen to yourself. When you knew something was off and didn't listen.
When you made certain decisions and you felt that ting or that sting of like, something's off but you did it anyway. You were being guided the entire time. That is what your soul wants you to realize about the past. Stop looking back like you can change shit. You can't. What you have to see so that you can move forward out of this negative spiral is...
You were always guided and supported and you had that fucking compass with you. So look back in the past of how you weirdly knew something was off. Put a little more trust in you going forward with yourself. Okay, so next thing your soul wants you to see is how you're already living unwanted experiences before they happened. Like with me and the example of my hot water not working earlier.
When that happened, I was already 10 steps into the most unwanted experience that I could have. Because remember how I was saying, the electrician's gonna have to come, the plumber's gonna have to come, I'm gonna have to replace the whole thing, all these different issues, and I was about to start taking actions in line with that. I was about to call an electrician and call a plumber.
But instead of doing that, I stopped because your soul sees how you are 10 steps ahead into the unwanted. And when you take actions into future experiences right now, it makes them happen. So that's a big thing with manifestation is do things as if they're already done.
When you want to manifest something that you want, like when I was trying to find a warehouse to do my own fulfillment, I went to the store before I had the warehouse and I was buying dollies, hammers, gloves, a bunch of stuff that I was going to need at my warehouse once I got it. And the next day I manifested finding the perfect warehouse.
So the same way that you can take actions in line with a wanted experience that you want to have before it even happens yet, You have to see how you've been doing that to the negative experiences too. Because like with me with the water heater, I was like, no, hold on. Like I became aware of it. Okay. I've just gone 25 steps into the unwanted shit. I'm already over here calling the plumber.
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