Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Backstage with Cooper & Matty Johns

LONG LIVE FOZBALL!

23 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: Where's Trish and what prank did the crew pull?

0.031 - 19.153 Cooper Johns

Okay, one-two, everyone. One-two, one-two. Now, we'll go out to a bit of shenanigans, boys. We're in here quietly. We've come in early while Trish has taken Luigi. Look at us being all silent. She's taken Luigi to the vet. We think she's just a minute or two away, so we'll just keep our voices down a bit.

0

19.133 - 25.699 Matty Johns

We think she's getting de-sexed. He's not getting de-sexed. No, she. I said she. Oh, Trish getting de-sexed. I thought you said she.

0

Chapter 2: What did Trish announce about her stand-up comedy?

25.719 - 33.746 Cooper Johns

It's already happened. No, it's not important because I've had a vasectomy, so it's fine. But no, Luigi's getting her anal glands tested.

0

Chapter 3: What conspiracy theory did Matt share?

34.186 - 42.533 Matty Johns

Oh, how was that? His vasectomy. The vasectomy. Does it hurt? I mean, not anal glands, like the vasectomy.

0

Chapter 4: How did the crew react to royals in Australia?

42.553 - 45.175 Matty Johns

Does it hurt when they sort of end that part of you?

0

45.796 - 48.178 Cooper Johns

When you come out of recovery, it's a little bit tender.

0

48.445 - 55.795 Matty Johns

Yeah. What do you mean by tender? Are we talking like bloody Jordan Rickey nail in the foot sort of stuff?

0

Chapter 5: What did Matt's segment cover this week?

56.356 - 57.237 Matty Johns

Put it this way.

0

57.377 - 62.203 Cooper Johns

You wouldn't grab hold of it. Right. In fact, it's so sensitive. I didn't shake when I urinated.

0

62.824 - 71.736 Matty Johns

That's hard because like, well, not hard, but it's difficult because obviously that's such a part of you. Yeah.

0

72.307 - 74.231 Cooper Johns

Vital part. In fact, so vital.

0

Chapter 6: What was the Melbourne machete clean-up story?

74.271 - 75.975 Cooper Johns

Without it, you blokes wouldn't be here.

0

76.015 - 88.4 Matty Johns

So there you go, smartass. You know, when Trish comes in, can we do a thing where today, because we've been getting some, like, our listeners know how unfunny she is and that. Yeah. But can we laugh at everything she says? Yeah.

0

Chapter 7: What was the fight between Trish and Matty about?

88.441 - 92.649 Matty Johns

So, like, we make it seem like she's, like, so she knows what it feels like to be us where everyone laughs.

0

92.81 - 94.212 Cooper Johns

Yeah. Yeah. I got it.

0

Chapter 8: What was the quote of the week and its significance?

94.252 - 96.034 Cooper Johns

We just won't overdo it.

0

96.054 - 108.931 Matty Johns

I was going to say, do we go like Joker hysterics or are we just like giggling? Should we have someone nominated as the person who is like the last to laugh so when they stop, everyone should stop? Yeah.

0

109.071 - 112.776 Cooper Johns

I'll do that. I'll laugh and just do little things like, mate, you're on today.

0

112.756 - 117.547 Matty Johns

Yeah, just make her feel like secure and shit, Dad, like you do in your relationship.

0

117.787 - 118.028 Cooper Johns

Yeah.

118.349 - 119.15 Matty Johns

You don't do that at all.

119.171 - 143.98 Cooper Johns

Good job there, mate. And for people who are going to watch on YouTube, you'll see the reaction, but also you'll hear her satisfaction or her joy in her voice. First time she'll be satisfied in a long time. Again, just be very, very happy that I was able to, once upon a time, satisfy. Otherwise, you two imbeciles would not be here. I'm still not convinced. I'm thinking turkey and basil.

144 - 150.988 Cooper Johns

Just, hey, okay. Righto? Let's put a pause. Okay, Trish is going to be here any second.

151.008 - 168.03 Matty Johns

And me and Jack have swapped roles today in case you can hear it differently on the YouTube or you can listen differently because I'm in a different mic. I'm doing Jack's role today. Yeah, I've gone for a bit more of a casual role. As you can see, I'm eating some two-minute noodles and I'm just going to relax in a bit today. Cooper's going to settle in and do the live cutting for me. Nice work.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.