In Part 1 of this deeply personal episode, Kail sits down with her son Elliott for his first public conversation about reclaiming his identity. Elliott opens up about why he’s speaking out now, what it means to live authentically, and why he no longer goes by his former name, Isaac.Together, they explore the challenges of growing up in the public eye, setting boundaries online, and navigating identity as a teen. Kail shares her perspective and the unconditional love and support she’s always offered.Please be kind, respectful, and understanding as Elliott shares his story on his own terms.For full video episodes head to patreon.com/kaillowryThanks for supporting the show by checking out the sponsors!Quince: Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince! Go to quince.com/famousBetter Help: for 10% off your first month visit betterhelp.com/barelyTo find the right home for you head to apartments.comOPositiv: Take proactive care of your health at opositiv.com/famous for 25% off your first purchaseEveryday dose: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+ You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/FAMOUS or entering FAMOUS at checkout.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What does it mean to reclaim your identity?
Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird. It's your fave villain, Kale Lowry. And you're listening to Barely Famous. Happy Friday, everyone. Welcome to Barely Famous. Kristen's sitting with Elliot and myself for this episode. And she's not on camera, but she will be interviewing us for Elliot's episode. Happy Pride, everyone. I'm super excited to sit here with my son, Elliot.
And Isaac is going by Elliot now. We'll talk about why I didn't wear any makeup today because I... Figured I'd probably cry at some point. And, um, it's probably best just to go in fresh face. I'm super excited and also nervous apprehensive a little bit because obviously this is a very sensitive subject or maybe should be treated with care. Um,
I have some reservations about what we're discussing today because obviously this is my son and I don't want to ever put a target on his back or put him in a dangerous position. But with that being said, still want him to live his truth and live authentically and be proud of who he is because we're all proud of him. And yeah, Don't cry already. I love you.
And I'm not crying because I don't want to do this. I'm just crying because this is a really, this shows your strength. I'm just really proud of you. It's a really brave thing to do because not everyone can or wants to, or has the safe space to live authentically like themselves. And so just tears of pride, truly being proud of you.
And, you know, I know that we've, we've faced a lot of challenges leading up to this point and, Um, Not that I ever didn't want you to share who you are with the world, but I just out of protection wanted to make sure it was the right time and the right place and in the right way.
Because I think a lot of times I have wanted to say things about myself or explain myself or prove everybody wrong in some way. And my friends will be like, Kale, just wait. Like there's a right time and there's a right place and there's a right way to do it. And you're going to regret it if you do it any other way. So just sleep on it. Give it some time.
And I feel like that's exactly what we're doing today is finally being able to share your story on your terms and your words and not letting other people influence your decision or take away your autonomy and your ability to share your own story. So it's going to be an emotional experience. Episode 90 seconds in already crying. So I'm just proud of you.
And I hope that maybe this will help somebody watching the story, like look at someone that they love, and maybe they have been homophobic or haven't been supportive of someone.
you know being gay or part of the queer community I really hope that this will challenge them and cause them to self-reflect a little bit and understand that like it doesn't matter who you love at the end of the day like as long as you're happy and safe like that is the goal right like life is hard enough I don't I don't get it and I have just loved you through all of it through everything so that's my little those are my feelings
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Chapter 2: Why did Elliott choose to go by a different name?
you kind of get to look at the bigger picture and decide what you want for yourself when people are not deciding what they want for you and taking it and running.
For when you decided to start having your boundaries within your personal life, at what point do you feel like you gained the confidence to start doing that and implement those? And was it because of things that you've watched? Or was it like you were like, I need this for myself?
I decided for myself to set boundaries... more recently.
When you say set boundaries, what does that mean for you? Because I think that we need to make that very clear. What are your boundaries? Are you saying that you're not going to talk about your personal life? Are you saying that you'll speak on things when you want, that you really don't want to put your personal life out there? What are the boundaries to you?
Boundaries to me are... I'm going to share what I want to share when I want to share it. I'm not going to share everything on the internet, but I'm also not going to share nothing on the internet. So I think it just needs to be a sense of respect.
You don't want people commenting saying... What you should share, what you shouldn't share, what they think of you. You don't want any of that.
Yeah. And I also don't like when people of my personal life go into those comment sections and put things out there that I did not share myself. And I've seen things like that before.
I had words with two people specifically who did not come to me and they reshared stuff about you that really pissed me off. I blocked them. I told them, don't ever fucking talk to me again. Because at the point that you and I did not share them and you did not share them, what the fuck made you think that that was okay for you to reshare that without talking to me and confirming with me?
It did not come from either one of us. Right. I think those are fair boundaries and what's understood should not have to be explained. But for some reason, we're sitting here and explaining. And I think the cool thing about Patreon, like the people who are on this Patreon. It's real.
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Chapter 3: How do boundaries affect personal and public life?
Social media wasn't out there the same way it is now. So if I was 16 and pregnant today...
it would be different.
I would have a, I think I would like to think that I would look at it from a different perspective because I could see all the apps, all the internet, all the trolls, all the forums, all the, all the things back then Instagram came out after you were born or I got on Instagram after you were born. So it was very different. And so I think that also played a part.
Do you ever feel resentment because I had us on TV your whole life? Like, do you get upset with me or angry with me ever? No, I... It's okay if you have been.
No, I don't. I really don't. I might feel a way that we were on it for so long. But at the same time, I try my best to look at the positives. And we wouldn't be right here in this moment if it wasn't for everything you've done. You know? And... I just couldn't see it another way, and I'm really grateful for you. You're like the only person that I ever... You're the only person I need.
we stopped rolling you asked me if it was important for you to share this and what was it it was about taking pictures with people when people come up to us in public i don't mind i'm an adult i have you know i can make my own decisions but we have come across times where people be like isaac get in it or they'll physically grab him oh yeah specifically the jelly roll concert in philly that lady yeah
physically grabbed him to be in the picture that's not okay yeah um just respectfully you know keep in mind he is a child and he's a minor and and he's probably going to say no, regardless. He doesn't like to be in pictures.
I think over time, like at some point, but not as a child later in life, I think like at some point I'll be okay with it. But now I love talking to people and just come up to me.
Don't touch him.
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Chapter 4: What challenges do public figures face regarding privacy?
It also makes me more comfortable around you if you call me by my middle name. If somebody at school called me Isaac, I'm like, hey. You don't know me. You don't know me. Unless it's someone that knew me before I started going by that, then it's fine. Relatable. If you were calling me Isaac, that's fine. Or if it was my two best friends from my old school, I would have been fine.
I'm fine with that. Right.
No, that makes sense to me. When you say to someone, you know, my name's Elliot and they've known you as Isaac and they actively just choose not to use Elliot, do you view it as disrespect? I think I would.
A little bit, yeah. But unless I knew them before I started going by that. But at the same time, if everyone around me or if everyone around them is calling me Elliot, you know, like it's kind of like it's hard. Sometimes it can be hard to like listen for two names, you know?
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Chapter 5: How can parents support their children in public life?
And Kristen, Alessandra, other people have said, Kale, just wait, just wait, just wait, just wait. And I would be so angry and so upset and so heartbroken about whatever it was that I just wanted to speak on it right now.
Yeah.
And this is where that cliche saying comes in, like, what's done in the dark will come to light. But I literally texted Elliot back and I said, don't do that. You're going to regret it. I promise you.
And any time that I have immediately responded out of, you know, being emotionally charged, anger, hurt, whatever, because I wanted to explain myself and get the last word and for people to see me for who I am. It always backfired and it always made things worse. And you said, in what way will I regret this? And I said, they will not listen to you either way, no matter what you do or say.
You're letting them win if you do that. And I don't agree or support you posting the video. You said, I'm a human being. And if I speak up, they'll shut up. And I said, you're allowing them to rip this from you. They don't give a fuck. And no, they won't shut up. They literally won't. They'll spin whatever you say and it'll get worse. You'll give them everything they want.
They'll say, oh, confirmed. Yep. He said it. I knew it. And then what? You said, but they're going to rip it from me anyway, so I might as well speak up. And I said, might as well not. You're acting on emotion and impulse right now.
And that's exactly true.
And you said, but I can't wait any longer. I said, you're not going to solve anything. I understand the frustrations because I've been there. You can absolutely wait. You're going to make it worse. I have not seared you wrong yet. And it's not worth it, Elliot. I promise you. And you said, I just don't understand people. I responded and said, you will drive yourself crazy trying to.
You cannot control what they do. You need to take time. Use this as fuel to make sure you say everything you want to say. Write it in a note on your phone, but you cannot let them win this. And he said, OK, I love you. You're right. I am acting on impulse. It's just not fair that they can get to me like this. And I don't even know them.
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