Don't skip the introduction! In this episode, we explain the format of our podcast, before taking you on a concise tour through the history of France before it was France. Special appearances from woolly mammoths, Hannibal of Carthage, Julius Caesar and history's greatest cabbage farmer Diocletian. And let's not forget - loads and loads of moustachioed Gauls! Stay tuned for next week, when we'll do a deeper dive into the life of the very first king awaiting our judgement, Clovis.We apologise for the slightly haphazard audio on these early episodes: Eliza is a little quiet compared to Ben. We are still finding our feet, after all. But we are learning every day! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.⚜️CATEGORIESBen and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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