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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.
Chapter 2: Who is Tara Mohr and what is her background?
Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotb. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting and moving on-air chats. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. Evil, wake up.
I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivak and DePippo.
Chapter 3: What does it mean to play big in life and work?
Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.
I said, I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grave.
Listen to The Devil's Quarry and the Bone Valley Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's episode is going to be a slightly longer one, part of the series where I interview fascinating people about how they take their days from great to awesome and any advice they have for the rest of us.
So today I'm delighted to welcome Tara Moore to Before Breakfast. Tara is a speaker, a coach, and the author of the book Playing Big. So Tara, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to have you here. Why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself? Sure. Well, I am a very busy in the sandwich generation person. I am an only child of two aging parents.
I'm a mom of three kids.
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Chapter 4: How can feedback influence our journey to play big?
I'm a business owner and leader of a team and kind of the steward and host of a community of many thousands of women that are working on playing bigger games. So I feel like in this phase of my life, sometimes my to-do list is organized by like stakeholder groups of my life. This is the first phase of my life where it's ever been really like that.
And I'm really passionate about how our inner lives can either shape our outer lives or really help us cope better with what the outer world and its external circumstances are bringing us. And so that's really where I like to work at that intersection of our internal space and then what we bring forward into the world.
So what does it mean to play big?
My definition of playing big is that it means being more loyal to your dreams than to your fears. So a lot of people will hear the term playing big and have kind of a mixed reaction, like, Ooh, there's a part of me that would love to play bigger. There's part of me that knows I'm playing small. Um, and then there's another aspect to their reaction of like, that sounds exhausting.
That sounds like being a big puffed up ego and playing politics and going for the world screwed up ideas about success. So it's really an internal definition, you know, and I find for me, my own playing big edges, um, which I also always still struggle with. You know, I think we teach what we need to learn and I've had my own ways of being stuck and playing small.
So a playing big edge for me could be, am I going to write what I really think today or the safe thing? Am I going to speak up in the meeting? Am I going to be a people pleaser or not in this relationship? You know, it's all that stuff.
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Chapter 5: What role does the inner mentor play in personal development?
And why, I mean, are those all the reasons people don't play big? I mean, are people worried about what the world will think of them? So if you think of playing big as being loyal to our dreams, that's very vulnerable. It means we have to be authentic.
What we really want for our lives or our careers is probably a bit different from what our family or friends are up to, what they think we should be up to. So we kind of have to trust ourselves and stand alone in having faith in those dreams. And so that's hard. That's hard. And then there's social reasons. A lot of my work has focused on helping women play bigger and visible.
Women, powerful women, tend to get a lot of pushback in our culture and are often treated quite unfairly. So there's also this social layer to very legitimate fears that can come up, but still fears that we might not want to have running us in our lives. Yeah. So what would be sort of an example of playing bigger?
Like somebody is, you know, kind of going through life and, you know, doing their job, raising their family. In that sort of normal circumstances, what would it mean for us to think about playing bigger? Yeah. Well, it can look a lot of different ways. But one example might be, I have this idea that I want to paint. And I used to love art when I was a kid.
Chapter 6: How can we unhook from criticism and praise effectively?
And then I got talked out of that, told it wasn't a serious thing. Or I got told by that fourth grade teacher, I didn't really know how to paint. And I never touched it again. And maybe for that person playing big is...
Signing up for the art class or maybe they've already been painting but not showing anyone and the playing big is I'm going to approach a local gallery and see if I could have a show because that would feel so good. So playing big could look like that. It could look like I want to write a book that tells my story of something significant I've been through in my life.
It could look like I want to pitch a different job at work. I see a role that our company is missing. It could be I want to ask for the pay rise that I think I deserve.
And for someone else, it could be I'm going to turn down a promotion because I've always been on the treadmill and my playing big is realizing I actually want a slower pace of life and I'm not going to be run by whatever society is telling me the next rung on the ladder is. So those are some examples of the range of ways it can look.
And in your book, Playing Big, one of the things you talk about as you're trying to move into this world where you are playing big is to consult your inner mentor. So what is an inner mentor and why is this person, whoever he or she is, worth consulting? Yeah.
Yeah.
So this has been one of the most remarkable, moving, joyful parts of coaching for me for the past, I've been helping people find their inner mentors now for 17 years, pretty much consistently for 17 years. So I've seen thousands of people go through this process and it is pretty universally transformative for people.
And what it is, is it's all about just simply doing a guided visualization meditation that anyone can access online. We can maybe share a link with people.
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Chapter 7: What are some practical examples of taking leaps in our careers?
And in that guided visualization, you let your mind And not your everyday thinking mind, but your kind of imaginal right brain when you're super relaxed as you go in this meditation. You let that part of your creative mind bring you a sense of your older, wiser self. So yourself way out into the future. And it's kind of like we all have this inner elder mindset.
that we might not have accessed before but is actually very much there and it's not Yoda and it's not your grandma it's you older and wiser and so it is an authentic expression of your unique self and it has guidance that's right for you it's not somebody else's guidance that is a general prescription or what they think you should be doing
And so once people get a sense of that figure, they have a different kind of North Star for what they're becoming. And they also have this internal mentor that they can consult with. and really check in. How would she handle this? How would she move through the same situation? Even down to the very granular, how would she write this email? How does she structure her time before breakfast?
How does she move her body? What does she make herself for lunch? And kind of micro decision by decision, we can find a more authentic, fulfilling life using that North Star. Well, and I imagine one of the upsides of your inner mentors is he or she is available 24-7 too, right?
Which is if many people have helpful outer mentors, other people in their organizations or friends or family or whatever have served as mentors, but that person isn't there telling you how to write that email all the time. She's available all the time whenever you can slow down enough to be quiet to hear her and open to her guidance.
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Chapter 8: How does Tara balance work and family life?
She also has the guidance that's customized for you. And, you know, our outer mentors can do a lot of the tactical functions of mentorship, the introductions, the opportunities. But sometimes I think a lot of mentors lack a skill to To differentiate between the stories from their own lives. Yeah, here's what I did and what worked for me. But is that the right path for you?
Let me ask you a question that would help you discern if it is. A lot of mentors don't have that second skill set to not just extrapolate. And especially for women where... With every decade, we're kind of presented with a new context and a new societal context. A lot of times the person who went through something 30 years before doesn't really have quite the relevant prescription for us.
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In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified.
There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me.
That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fair to say this was the biggest case of your career?
Yes, sir. Rape and murder of a 12-year-old child. Is it as bad as it gets? I would think so.
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