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Chapter 1: What insights does Seann Walsh share about his childhood and relationship with his dad?
I did this show and it touched on, on mine and my dad's relationship. I, this is true. I met him to, what is it now? I met him to, I met him to almost like a journalist, really. I met him to ask him some questions that, that, that would maybe help my story in the show. What, you know, Just his story, his story with the drug.
And it was there that I discovered that he hadn't taken it in a couple of years.
But that's mad that you didn't know that.
No, we weren't really communicating at that point.
So this brought you back together?
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It did, yeah. I mean, we're still quite distant, me and my dad, but we do talk. He texts me after the QPR game. But we're just not that kind of family. We're not, you know... We never had... And I think this goes with something. We never had a table at home. You know, the thing of... One of the things...
You know, can I just say something? That is so... That tells me so much. Right, right. Like, a table is a basic family need. Right. What are you going to sit round... Absolutely.
..to play Uno? Exactly.
Right?
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Chapter 2: How do small family rituals impact childhood development?
They're coming into adulthood. They need a negotiation. And you take them to the negotiating table.
That's fantastic.
And you sit down and you go, okay, tell me what you want. Okay, the reason why I'm having a problem with that is because of this. Or I've got to get up really early in the morning. I don't want to come and pick you up at 3 o'clock in the morning. Can we negotiate on the time? You know what I mean? Yeah, that's fantastic. I'm having that. They negotiate a bit. I negotiate a bit. They feel heard.
I feel heard. No argument. No leaving the room and going, I hate you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got that to come, but I'm using that.
That's why you've got a table now as well.
Yeah, absolutely. For later negotiating. Exactly, yeah.
So, like, how do you create a safe environment for you in relationships when you're growing up? Like, that's really hard.
Well, I think, you know, no boundaries is something that I've kind of had to... I mean, we'll get to that, I'm sure, but not drinking was so important in creating boundaries and kind of pathways of existing.
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Chapter 3: What role do boundaries play in family relationships?
Often it has to do with a deep sense that you're unworthy and that you're not a good person. The more you feel, I'm not good, there's something wrong with me, the more you'll constantly be reading insult everywhere. Everyone's laughing at me. Yes. People are getting at me, et cetera. So, again, huge compassion. This comes from not really having been seen, loved, honored, et cetera.
And then you make it worse for yourself because you're permanently seeing yourself as a good – fitting, plausible candidate for victimization, and then you feel victimized by things that go wrong. The tube train left the station in order to hurt me. My date didn't show up because they loathed me. Everything is connected up with something wrong with you.
And of course, what we really realize is that the world's much more random. The weather wasn't interested in you. The tube is not trying to humiliate you. The date that was late, they had some problem with their own family, whatever it is. There's often a lot more going on than the victimized person feels.
And so that's why, by the way, it's really useful to get out on a starry night and look at the stars. Because suddenly you're aware of the vastness in which we all live. And you think, you know what? It's not all about me. And that's a beautiful thought because normally we think it's not all about me and that's a bad thing. It should be more about me.
And then sometimes you look at something vast like the ocean, like the stars, and you think, thank goodness that I'm not the center of this show. This show's been going on a lot longer. It's a lot bigger. I am a grain of sand. Thank God. And so that's a sort of anti-victimization strategy to realize that, you know, it started long before you. It'll go on long after you. It's not about you.
And thank God it's not about you.
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