Begin Again Moments: Family Relationships
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What insights does Seann Walsh share about his childhood and relationship with his dad?
I did this show and it touched on, on mine and my dad's relationship. I, this is true. I met him to, what is it now? I met him to, I met him to almost like a journalist, really. I met him to ask him some questions that, that, that would maybe help my story in the show. What, you know, Just his story, his story with the drug. And it was there that I discovered that he hadn't taken it in a couple of years.
But that's mad that you didn't know that.
No, we weren't really communicating at that point.
So this brought you back together?
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It did, yeah. I mean, we're still quite distant, me and my dad, but we do talk. He texts me after the QPR game. But we're just not that kind of family. We're not, you know... We never had... And I think this goes with something. We never had a table at home. You know, the thing of... One of the things...
You know, can I just say something? That is so... That tells me so much. Right, right. Like, a table is a basic family need. Right. What are you going to sit round... Absolutely.
..to play Uno? Exactly.
Right?
And do you know what? One of my first girlfriends... I remember having dinner around their house and we had to sit around the table and it was this mortifying thing. What, I've got to look at you? Yeah, we've got to sit around the table with your parents. We're going to sit around. Why the parents? I don't want to sit with your parents. It was so scary because I wasn't used to this. And the reason they did it, and she used to hate it, She was wonderful. She used to hate it. And I remember I used to say to her, this is so important because her dad would ask everyone, she had a brother, and ask everyone how their day had been. And at first, at first I found it mortifying. I hated the concept and then I grew to love it.
And obviously that's what we do at home. Obviously we have the table. The kids now, me and Grace with the kids, we have it around the table. It's so important, the table, to family.
I think there's a book in that. You know, the table.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I talk about teenagers. Yeah.
I always, my girlfriend told me to never say no to a teenager. And I was like, I don't get that. Like what? That's impossible. How can you not say no to a teenager? She said, they're teenagers.
How do small family rituals impact childhood development?
They're coming into adulthood. They need a negotiation. And you take them to the negotiating table.
That's fantastic.
And you sit down and you go, okay, tell me what you want. Okay, the reason why I'm having a problem with that is because of this. Or I've got to get up really early in the morning. I don't want to come and pick you up at 3 o'clock in the morning. Can we negotiate on the time? You know what I mean? Yeah, that's fantastic. I'm having that. They negotiate a bit. I negotiate a bit. They feel heard. I feel heard. No argument. No leaving the room and going, I hate you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got that to come, but I'm using that.
That's why you've got a table now as well.
Yeah, absolutely. For later negotiating. Exactly, yeah.
So, like, how do you create a safe environment for you in relationships when you're growing up? Like, that's really hard.
Well, I think, you know, no boundaries is something that I've kind of had to... I mean, we'll get to that, I'm sure, but not drinking was so important in creating boundaries and kind of pathways of existing.
Childhood is a very difficult period. And I think we all need to understand that children are born into the world utterly dependent on those around them, the few people around them who are randomly chosen and who will be suffering from various distortions of their own minds. I mean, it's very rare that you are born into a sane family. Most of us are born into, you know, it's a lopsided sort of proposition. So we have to understand that this is the way we're born. How long are we going to let that lopsided entry into the world determine our lives? Ideally, a minimal amount of time. What you need to do is to realise the nature of the lopsidedness, accept the lopsidedness and start to correct it as early as possible.
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Chapters
3 chaptersSpeakers
3 identifiedMore from Begin Again with Davina McCall
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