When we’re hurt in our relationships, it’s normal to experience resentment. We don’t talk about resentment very much, we’re more likely to talk about anger, fear, or sadness. But resentment is a combination of all of those difficult feelings that causes as much harm to our relationships – and to our own well-being – as any other emotion. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore resentment: where it comes from, what it does, and what we can do about it. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What is resentment, and what function does it serve? 5:50: Resentment as repressed emotion. 9:00: Resentment and power differences. 11:10: Aspects of resentment. 12:40: Costs of resentment. 18:50: Given the costs, why do people hold on to their resentment? 22:20: Resentment connects us to people. 28:30: Healthy aspects of resentment. 31:00: Feeling "good enough." 34:00: Working with resentment: what do you want your experience to be? 42:00: Resentment as an indicator of unresolved communication. 44:30: The social functions of resentment. 48:00: Metta as an antidote to resentment. 54:30: Disentangled forgiveness. 57:00: Recap. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Just One Thing: Dr. Rick Hanson offers 3 free, regular newsletters with a variety of tips, practices, videos, meditations, and other helpful resources you can use in everyday life to grow the good that lasts. Learn more and sign up here. Rick's Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for a free online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion every Wednesday from 6-7:30 pm PT/9-10:30 pm ET. Follow the link to learn more. If you can't join live, the sessions are recorded for later viewing. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask this episode

“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

Transcript

Related