Ben Jackson | The Counselling Tutor

3 Insights from a Recent Client Session

22 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Here are the three key topics discussed at a recent leadership coaching session. Some or all of it may apply to you, so give it a watch and let me kno...

How I Broke Through My Own Comfort Zone

18 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share with you how I got through - or more accurately, getting through - my comfort zone. Whilst it may not be a step by step guide, I tal...

Setting Boundaries or Being Controlling

17 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

After being labelled as 'controlling', I took a moment to see whether this was accurate. What I noticed that rather than being controlling my response...

We Are All Doing the Best We Can

16 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I really invite you to try my suggestion in this episode. It can be one of the most empowering mindset shifts. especially when you're finding someone'...

Are Nerves the Sign You're Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone?

15 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Getting back into climbing has brought up interesting feelings. There's a nervousness of trying something new and unknown, but as I exlpain I no longe...

How Can We Get Over Challenging Memories?

11 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

If we can believe that someday we can look back and laugh about a current challenge, then why not do it now? Why wait. Sometimes by accessing our futu...

Managing Expectations, Creating Space for Gratitude

10 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I’m trying to focus my mind on the up coming months and the demands of childcare particularly over the summer holidays. In this episode I wanted to ...

When Letting Go Doesn't Work

09 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Being told to just 'let it go' can feel really difficult. The attempt to let go can create more pain and anxiety. The alternative that I've found help...

My Journey with Counselling

08 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Back in April 2019 I began counselling. Unsure how long it'd last I wanted to document the journey and made short videos at the end of each session an...

Embracing and Nurturing Failure

04 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In the light of recent conversations I wanted to revisit the topic of failure. But more specifically in the importance of it, and how as parents we ca...

Person-Centred Counselling

03 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share with something both entertaining and informative. It's about one of the key principals used in both coaching and counselling. &nbsp...

How the Body Responds to Stress and Anxiety

02 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Here I talk about my day and but also share growing insights into the mind body connection and how our roles, responsibilities effect our overall heal...

Take Time to Remember How Far You've Come

01 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We can often forget to remember how far we've come on our journey, so this was my reminder to myself to do just that. Plus how my first morning of wak...

Relationships, Books and Learning

28 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

So after a few weeks I finally got round to putting a video together just explaining what I've been up to over the last few months and share some inte...

My Journey Into Vulnerability and Shame

27 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode I share my journey regarding shame, vulnerability and openness. While I have been gradually increasing my vulnerability, it wasn’t u...

What To Do When You Feel Powerless

26 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It’s not uncommon for us at one time or another to feel that we are helpless and have no influence or control in a situation. In this episode I expl...

Taking The Road Less Travelled

25 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

After having a brief dream, I wanted to share what it meant for me but also perhaps there’s something that can be useful for all of us, especially w...

What We're Getting Wrong About Mind Body Connection

24 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to invite you to consider that rather than think of the mind and the body operating seperately, to see that it is one complete system working...

Recognise How Amazing You Are

21 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It’s surprising how quickly we’re able and willing to give compliments to other people. We are quick to support and lift other’s up, yet we stru...

An Alternative Way to Manage Difficult Emotions

20 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share an alternative method in coping with challenging or overpowering emotions - especially ones that we can’t explain what they mEAN. ...

Giving a 5-minute Speech & Priceless Relationship Advice

19 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode I wanted to share how the 5 minute speech challenge went. And some powerful relationship advice that I think is priceless; particularl...

Helping Students Re-Connect with Their ‘Why’

18 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

When we are faced with resistance a useful approach is to see how we can map their current world into the desired world. And in this episode I explain...

You’re not Broken; You Don’t Need to be Fixed

17 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We often tell ourselves that there’s something wrong with us; or worse still that someone says there’s something wrong with us. But I believe we’...

How to Kill Your Overwhelm

12 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Overwhelm causes inaction and affects our ability to resolve problems. But there is a solution, a way through that can help reduce the anxiety, stress...

How Belief and Identity Can Obstruct Change

20 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode I wanted to debunk the idea that we can ‘make’ someone feel a certain way. That the phrases, ‘she made me angry’ or ‘He made...

Divorce & Settling Difficult Negotiations

18 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

There are few things more difficult than resolving hostile negotiations, and perhaps at the top of the pile is separation and  divorce negotiatio...

Stop Being Haunted by Emotional Ghosts

13 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to draw your attention to those feelings, emotions and responses that have been created in the past but come racing into our present when cer...

Reflections on the Last Week and The Importance of Documenting Over Creating

12 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Back with reflections on my week long pause, the benefits, the necessity and a new observation on documenting over creating.   — Thank you...

Time to Define Ourselves by Our Future not Our Past

08 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to explain in more detail a quote I put out on Instagram, particularly as it’s one that’s worth better understanding. And, essentially, i...

The 5 min Talk: My Biggest Challenge (Ever)

07 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

My talks are usually an hour long so when I was asked to give a 5 minute talk, I was stumped to what I could offer. In this episode I share the challe...

The Day Today & Striving for Authenticity

06 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It’s amazing how tricky it is to do a vlog when you can’t specifically see any value in what you’re offering, nevertheless this is very much wha...

Are You Listening to Speak, Or Listening to Hear?

05 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes our desires to share our knowledge and experience can override what, in reality, the other person actually needs. This is my from my persona...

Make Time to be Kind, to Yourself

04 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This is a brief reminder that we need to have our healing, our rest time and the benefit of actually setting time aside to do just that. We can often ...

Self-Awareness & Tapping Into Your Motivation

01 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Self-awareness is going to be your key to follow through on whatever dreams and goals you may have. The best plans that you can read about will only b...

The Power of Simple Questions

28 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We can get wrapped up in situations and asking ourselves lots of questions that never really seem to help us arrive to a conclusion. So in this episod...

Clients, Wednesday Yoga & Reflections on Tuning In to What You Need

27 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This story from my past has been buzzing around my head for the last few days and I'm not too sure why, but I thought I'd share it as it's something I...

Dry January: Why I Did It, How It Went & What Happened Next

26 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I forgot to mention that I’d committed to go through the whole of January without drinking alcohol, so this episode describes why I did it, what ben...

The Pain of Expectation and Assumptions

25 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I remember when both setting up expectations and assumptions gave me reason to create frustration and anger. But it was through one simple reframe of ...

Resilience is More Than Just Having a Thick Skin

15 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I just wanted to share with you that I very much live and breath my ethos and ideas. And in this episode I share how personally being resilient and ha...

The Book That Changed My Life

14 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share the first book I read that really opened my eyes to not only the idea but the techniques to create real long term change. It was piv...

When We Jump to Conclusions; or When We Make a Problem Out of a Problem

13 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share an insight in how I manage, deal and resolve challenges, particularly the ones that are out of control. Because in these situaitons ...

Blaming Other People For Our Problems

12 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We can create massive limiting and disempowering beliefs when we put the cards of our life in someone else's hand. Because we create these blocks to c...

Why You Need to Notice Patterns of Behaviour

11 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to explore and share the importance of noticing not just others but our own patterns of behaviour. How often do we see ourselves continuing o...

Coping With The Loss of Trust

08 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I was blindsided by my 9 year old the other day when he asked about trust, and specifically what he had to do to rebuild it. Here are my thoughts and ...

Getting Over Analysis Paralysis

07 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Who hasn't found themselves over thinking and falling down the rabbit hole that leads to over-analysising and ultimately zero action? It's more common...

Time to Suffocate Your Excuses

06 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It's too easy to keep on telling ourselves the same old story of how it can't be done or that is impossible. So what happens when we run out of excuse...

How to Stop Taking Things Personally

05 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This is a common issue that many people face and so I wanted to offer one successful way to reduce that feeling and not let it bother you any more.&nb...

My Personal Technique to Help Reduce Depression

04 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This is not a one-size fits all, it's a general idea that has proven benefits over the years, and it's one I really want to share with you. One of the...

A Step-by-Step Guide to End Anxiety

01 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

This is a practical guide on how you're going to manage, cope and resolve your anxiety or anxieties. Going from calming the mind all the way to see yo...

How to Commit to the Thing You've Been Putting Off

31 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes to commit to doing that thing you've been putting off requires changing the meaning you're giving it. Sometimes we need to see it through a ...

Welcome to My No Good, Very Bad Day

30 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to be clear that I have difficult days and that I not only talk the talk but use and apply my thesis too.  — Thank you for your time...

Your Guide To Being An Optimism Ninja

29 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

The key to optimism is about creating as many points of view on a problem as possible. Extracting something positive from life’s challenges will equ...

Getting You In To Action

28 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

While this is a small exercise I believe it is one of the most pitvotal in your journey of change. This is because we are no suffocating all excuses a...

Activating Your Creative Solutions To Any Problem

25 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode I wanted to add a very important factor when it comes to not only goal setting but also to actually taking action. If you’re more us...

The One Thing Missing From Your Goals

24 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It's easy to focus on all the good stuff that achieving your goals will bring, and as important as that all is, so many forget to include this one sim...

Goal Setting: Activating Your Mind & Your Emotions

23 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

What I discuss is so valuable to so many of you. It’s how you’re going to activate not just your mind but your emotions when you commit to your go...

Talk to Yourself as if You Were Your Own Best Friend

22 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

How quickly do we support, encourage and empower others, yet are so slow, if never, offering ourselves the same love. My challenge to you is to revers...

Why I Won’t (Ever) Charge For My Content

21 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I doubt this will be the last time I mention it, but I wanted to make it clear that I will never charge my audience for any content that I create. The...

Resilience, Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Explained

18 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

After taking the time to look up the etymology of these words, I realised they offer a very ueful and important understanding about these often used w...

How We Can Respond to Change

17 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

As important as change can be, as we embark on our journey it can also bring challenges as we adapt to new choices. Post-change can temporarily bring ...

Supporting Children When They Get Angry

16 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of what I hope will be a weekly series, I give away my best advice and guidance on managing commion family changes as well as share my...

How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

16 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We can talk about how important it is to step out of our comfort zone yet we can get misdirected into accomplishing huge actions. Here I talk about wa...

Improve Your Efficiency and Make the Most of Your Time

15 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

One of the benefits that parenting brought with it was learning how to squeeze the most from every minute (mainly because sometimes that's all the tim...

Magic Moments With Your Child

10 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It can be challenging to find swathes of quality time with our children, but I’m here to remind you that magic moments, times of real connection wit...

Using Your Future (and Past) To Help You Right Now

09 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We can learn an awful lot from our past. And we can also use our future self to help guide us in the present. This is one way to apply all these learn...

What's Really Going On Behind Your Emotions And Behaviours

08 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

If we change our questions we can often get better answers. Here are two questions that I believe are massively powerful in getting behind the scenes ...

Accepting Resistance to Change

07 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

I think there are some valuable insights for many in this episode, especially if confronted with people who are resisting change. It’s an important ...

Why Trying Can Be More Like Failing

22 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Language can trip us up, and the word 'try' is a big offender of this. I wanted to explain what happens when we 'try'. — Thank you for your time and...

Doing Nothing May Be Your Best Response

21 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

For many we can anticipate and create problems on top of problems; escalate a situation too soon or panic in advance of the problem. Here I suggest an...

What to do When You Feel Cornered and Put on the Spot

19 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Dealing with conflict or challenging conversations can often pull us into making decisions, or giving responses that corner us into a decision. This i...

Why I Want to You to Fail More Often

13 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Failure is a principal component of life, success is not. Watch this video to hear me explain my thesis on failure. — Thank you for watching this...

The Best Therapy You'll Ever Need

12 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We underestimate two things: 1) how fast are thoughts are going; and 2) that our brains are an accurate storage system. In this episode I talk how I c...

Breaking Mindfulness Into Easy Techniques

11 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Mindfulness can feel overwhelming or require huge amounts of discipline, but often all it requires is turning down the volume on external noises. —...

How to Take Back Control and Stop Feeling Disempowered

10 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

When we feel we have no choice, we can feel disempowered; feeling that there’s nothing we can do other than to accept the situation as it is. Howeve...

My Insecurity and My Fear

07 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

There's always benefit in sharing your insecurities. Not only does it allow us all to be a little more human, but it can also takes all the power away...

On Self-esteem, Kicking Out Negativity and Reducing Anxiety | Talk at St Joan of Arc School

07 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

In this talk I go deeper into my thesis on self-esteem, reducing exam anxiety and importantly how to remove every voice in your head other than your o...

The Untold Story Behind People's Eyes

06 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We can so often not know what is happening for someone else. We neglect to consider that we all have storms that we conceal. So perhaps we need to be ...

Disruption and Breaking Behaviour

05 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

While routine and patterns are important, we also need to remember that after a while they need to be disrupted. Yes, it's time to shake shit up! —...

Why We Should Be Attacking Our Fears

04 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Often we can over-intellectualise our fears which leads us to procrastinate rather than tackle them. In today's episode I wanted to remind you that to...

You're Probably More Amazing Than You Imagine

30 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

I've been meaning to do this episode for a while. In it I bring to your attention more much the mental chatter blocks us from our inate abilities. I h...

Little Will Change Without a Little Change

29 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Words are one thing, but real change only happens when words are backed up by action. — Thank you for listening. Please subscribe, and share your ...

What Can be at The Heart of Your Pain

27 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share my thoughts on what can be one of the strongest causes of our pain and upset: expectation. — Thank you for listening. Please sub...

Sharing the Journey and the Process

26 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Here I talk about my day and how I choose to maximise and the make my time as efficient as possible. — Thank you for listening. Please subscribe, ...

Coping With Not Getting What We Want

24 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

So often we can be defeated by rejection or plans not working out. While I can't change these situations, I do have advise on how you can overcome the...

The Fear of that Comes with Change

21 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

It may seem unusual but fear is a common response to new behaviours or change in behaviours, so what's going on and how do we handle it. — Thank y...

Change Can Happen in an Instant

20 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We need to accept that we have choice over our emotions. We need not have to stay feeling as we do. It can all change in an instant. — Thank you f...

Accountability Reduces Anxiety in Children

19 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Allowing children to make their own mistakes and accepting the consequences, is a greater deterrent to anxiety than we realise. — Thank you for li...

Planning for Spontaneity

16 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

As contradictory as it sounds there is some sense to it. We can overplan and it's important to leave a little space for some magic to happen. — Th...

Seeing a Situation from Multiple Perspectives: The Salad Bar Analogy

14 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The Salad Bar Analogy: I thought it was valuable to remind you that we can get so fixated in one view point we forget to look at alternative, perhaps ...

The Power of Your Message

13 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

I wanted to share this video as it's a great reminder that we never known when what we have to share can positively imapct someone. — Thank you fo...

The Benefits of Getting Specific

12 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

I made this after a client meeting in London. And though it's more related to business conversations and negotiations, it's a valid example of the ben...

The Power and the Struggle of Taking Baby Steps

09 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

When starting on a large project or even starting a business, there is something soothing in taking baby steps. However these baby steps, being that t...

We React Based on the Meaning We're Giving Something

07 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Often we are reacting and responding to a situation based on the meaning we're giving it. And that meaning can be sourced from our past and not on the...

Student Stress and Remedies for Anxiety

06 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Remembering my own struggles as a student is a 100% a motivator to talk with students about how best to manage their own anxieties. — Thank you fo...

Overwhelm and Why One is Greater Than Zero

05 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

It can be easy to get overwhelmed with our workload or to-do lists and then to give up even trying. So what's my solution to get through that block? ...

The Signs of Depression You're Probably Missing

02 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

After having a number of conversations recently I wanted to return to the subject of depression. Not so much about the causes, but some of the indicat...

Talking to Students About Self-Esteem & Managing Anxiety

01 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

This is a little insight into what I'm often asked to talk about at schools. Mental wellbeing remains high on the agenda for most schools and sometime...

Change Comes From Decisive Action

31 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes we can just sit on the advice we know we need to take, so this is a reminder that only through consistent action can we achieve the goals we...

How to Manage Returning Negative Behaviours

30 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

When changing behaviour, many of us can struggle with the previous unwanted behaviours coming back. So how can we reframe them, repackage them so we c...

What Happens When a Coaching Session Doesn't Work

29 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

As part of my desire to share not only the highs but also the monents that don't work as planned, here's my account of a session not finishing as desi...