Berner Phone

Berner Phone 122: Wildest Holiday Traditions Part 2

23 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're back this week with more unique holiday traditions. We're in the thick of the holiday season so the dialers need a distraction. Put your headpho...

Berner Phone #121: Wildest Holiday Traditions

16 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're getting in the holiday spirit this week. The dialers shared their family's craziest holiday traditions. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets...

Berner Phone #120: Controversial Takes Pt. 2

09 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers had so many good hot takes that we had to do a second episode. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone #119: Controversial Takes

02 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are letting us in on the thing they hate that everyone else seems to love. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone #118: Local Gossip

24 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We'd rather get involved in other people's drama than deal with our own, so we asked the dialers to tell us their juiciest local gossip. get tickets t...

Berner Phone #117: Live Call-Ins

18 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We took a risk and tried live call-ins for the first time in Berner Phone history. The only reason we pulled off the admin is because Hannah wasn't in...

Berner Phone #116: Relationship Turnoffs

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers called in and shared their biggest turnoffs in relationships. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone 115: Customer Service Horror Stories

04 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are sharing their craziest customer service stories that prove the customer isn't always right.  get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets...

Berner Phone #114: Dating Tips & Tricks

27 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Des is joined by special guest Gabby Bryan to give their best shot at dating advice. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone 113: What's Bugging You?

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Instead of taking it out on their families, the dialers are airing their grievances on the pod and letting us know what's been bugging them. get ticke...

Berner Phone 112: Family Secrets

14 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We have a juicy one today - the dialers are spilling their family secrets. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone 111: Relationship Hypocrisy

08 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Chris is back and we're in studio. The vibes are high and we're discussing double standards in relationships.  get tickets to Hannah's tour get ticke...

Berner Phone 110: Ruthless Advice

30 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Des is giving advice on the questions you don't want to ask your friends. Shop at REVOLVE.com/BERN and use code BERN for 15% off your first order. ge...

Berner Phone 109: Weirdest Crushes

23 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are asking us to hear them out on their most out-of-pocket crushes.  get tickets to Hannah's tour get ticket to Des' shows

Berner Phone #108: HAN SOLO

16 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah is a solo parent to the pod this week and she's answering the dialer's burning questions. Shop at REVOLVE.com/BERN and use code BERN for 15% o...

Berner Phone #107: The Art of Gentle Revenge

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Revenge is an art and the dialers may have mastered it. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone #106: Dialer's Choice

02 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're letting the dialer's choose their own adventure this week. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone #105: Advice to Your Younger Self

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are sharing the advice they wish someone had given them 10 years ago. get tix to Hannah's tour get tix to Des' shows

Berner Phone #104: Nonsexual Turn Ons

19 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're celebrating some of life's simple pleasures. The dialers are sharing the nonsexual things that are arguably better than sex. get ticke...

Berner Phone #103: Chaos Goblins

12 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We went rogue this episode and didn't have a prompt. So without futher ado, let's hear what the dialers are up to and wanting to discuss this week.  ...

Berner Phone #102: Are you better than everyone?

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We asked the dialers to share what makes them feel better than everyone else. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Berner Phone #101: What's Bugging You

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? The dialers are getting the things that are bothering them off their chest this week. get tickets to Han...

Berner Phone #100: What Did You Just Say?

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah has some exciting news and the dialers are sharing the craziest things someone has said to their face. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets...

Berner Phone #99: Things That Make You Feel Old

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Being called ma'am for the first time can really stick with you - just ask Hannah. This prompted her to ask the dialers to share the moments that have...

Berner Phone #98: It Shouldn't Be Awkward Pt. 2

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A prompt so nice, we had to use it twice. The dialers are sharing the random moments that make them feel awkward in public. get tickets to Hannah's to...

Berner Phone #97: It Shouldn't Be Awkward

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There are many things in life that shouldn't be awkward like waiting in line and sitting in traffic, but somehow our brains trick us into thinking we'...

Berner Phone #96: Our Worst Crash Outs

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Crashing out is the cool Gen Z way to say mental breakdown. We've all been there, and the dialers are sharing stories of the crash out moments they'll...

Berner Phone #95: The Most Inspirational Quotes

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you post an inspirational quote on social media your friends might question your mental stability, so we had the dialers share them here instead. ...

Berner Phone #94: Lockdown Positivity

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The pandemic had a lot of lows, but today we're looking on the bright side. The dialers are telling stories about the positives that came out of lockd...

Berner Phone #93: Dumb Stuff for Hot People

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We've all stayed in a relationship a few months too long solely because the person was hot. The dialers are sharing stories of the craziest things the...

Berner Phone #92: Ruthless Life Advice Pt. 2

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers were in need of some more life advice and no child gets left behind on this pod, so we delivered. 

Berner Phone #91: Ruthless Life Advice

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers asked for our advice and we didn't hold back.

Berner Phone #90: Nickname Origin Stories

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're all trying to feel connected to those around us and nicknames are one of the most fun ways to do that. The dialers are sharing the origin story ...

Berner Phone #89: Gifting Mistakes

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Gifts can make or break a holiday, birthday, or even a relationship. The dialers are sharing the best and worst gifts they've given or received. 

Berner Phone #88: Deinfluencing You

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Despite Hannah promoting her book for the past two weeks, we're talking about the things you shouldn't buy. Sometimes the items we think will make our...

Berner Phone #87: Best Phone Apps

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Our screen times are alarmingly high so we figured we should at least find out what the dialer's favorite and most useful apps are. 

Berner Phone #86: More Couples Fights

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's a new week, but couples are still fighting. Hannah and Des are back trying to save some relationships with advice on how to move past menial argu...

Berner Phone #85: Couples Fights

06 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every couple has that one recurring argument they can't agree on. The dialers are sharing the small but mighty fights in their relationships.

Berner Phone #84: Service Industry Annoyances

30 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Customer service is a b**** and the dialers told us all their most annoying interactions. From standing up to get a waiter to shaking drinks at a bar,...

Berner Phone #83: Are You the A-hole?

22 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The last episode of are you the a-hole was a hit, so we're bringing it back. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the a-hole?" we're deciding if t...

Berner Phone #82: Notes App Revealed

15 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah is back and is passionate about this week's topic. Your notes app is about as personal as it gets, but the dialers are opening up to share the ...

Berner Phone #81: TV You Need to Watch

09 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are making their case for the best TV series of all time.

Berner Phone #80: Best Advice From A Therapist

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? This week the dialers are sharing the best advice they've recieved from a therapist. 

Berner Phone #79: This Should Be Illegal

23 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The list of things that should be illegal could go on forever. You might leave this episode annoyed with humanity, but you'll also feel seen.

Berner Phone #78: Life Advice From Des

16 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are putting Des to the test and he's giving advice on life, love, travel, and becoming a yoga instructor. 

Berner Phone #77: What We Google

10 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Search history is personal, but the dialers are letting us in on their most recent Google searches. You can usually find Hannah searching tennis playe...

Berner Phone #76: Karma You Deserve

03 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah's mom joins the episode to explain why we have to protect our energy and let karma do its job. The dialers share stories of when karma came bac...

Berner Phone #75: Craziest Things You Did For Money

25 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Will people really do anything for money? We're finding out this week as the dialers share the wildest things they've done for money. Get Huel today w...

Berner Phone #74: Trying New Things In Bed

19 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every now and then, we realize it's time for a spicy episode. The dialers are sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of new things they've tried in b...

Berner Phone #73: How Did I Not Know This?

11 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We are learning, growing, and realizing things today because we asked the dialers to tell us "I was today years old when...". Some of these facts migh...

Berner Phone #72: Worst Coworkers

05 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The holiday season has come to an end and it's time to go back the office. Everyone has a coworker (or two) that they can't stand, so the dialers are ...

Berner Phone #71: Life's Quandaries Part 2

28 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Turns out the dialers need a lot of advice...so we're doing a part 2 of our unprofessional advice. This week we're dealing with finances, family, and ...

Berner Phone #70: Life's Quandaries

22 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's the holiday season and the dialers were in need of some advice, so we delivered. Lines are being blurred in open relationships, some in-laws just...

Berner Phone #69: Are you the only one?

16 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone has their quirks and odd habits. And this week, the dialers are revealing theirs in hopes that they aren't the one one. You'll either finish ...

Berner Phone #68: Vacation Disasters

08 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A vacation can either be a bonding experience or the beginning of the end of a relationship. This week the dialers are sharing their worst vacation ex...

Berner Phone #67: Are You The Asshole?

02 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Family and friendship dynamics are complicated, but someone is always the asshole. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the asshole?", we're decid...

Berner Phone #66: Family Fights

24 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

'Tis the season for the biggest family fights of the year. Hopefully these stories of Thanksgiving conversation gone wrong will make you feel better a...

Berner Phone #65: Bad Gifts

17 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes it really is better to give than recieve. This week the dialers are sharing the worst gifts they've ever gotten.   

Berner Phone #64: Answering Questions About Men

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Des is in the hot seat this week. He's answering all the things you've ever wondered about men. This is the most dialers we've ever had call in and yo...

Berner Phone #63: Halloween Faux Pas

01 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We address the pros and cons of Halloween and people's most embarassing costumes.  20% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/bern  Free shipping at qu...

Berner Phone #62: Stuff That's Overrated

25 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah's back (again). We're coming for everything from running to bad sex positions and the dialers are sharing hot takes on the most overrated thing...

Berner Phone #61: Childhood Nostalgia

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah is back on pod this week and we're feeling nostalgic. Is there really such a thing as a the good ole days? Those who got to go to Blockbuster o...

Berner Phone #60: Best Life Advice

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Des is joined by the hilarious Joanne McNally this week. They're giving advice on dating a comedian, in-law issues, how to woo an Irish man, and corre...

Berner Phone #59: The Craziest Lies

01 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers have been through the wringer with some crazy liars. We start off light hearted then hear some insane (and possibly illegal) stories. We d...

Berner Phone #58: Best Gripes

17 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Gripes come in many forms and, in our book, they are all completely valid. The dialers are sharing the things that grind their gears and Hannah gives ...

Berner Phone #57: Bad Roommates

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bad roommates are a canon event, but they always make for a good story. The dialers are sharing some horror stories and we start to realize we might h...

Berner Phone #56: Spicy Advice Part 2

04 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There were some wild and juicy messages this week. We're giving more advice about relationships, trying stand up, and ruining wedding days.  Get cook...

Berner Phone #55: Spicy Advice

28 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're back this week with another advice episode. The dialers have found themselves in some sticky situations and we're giving our unprofessional advi...

Berner Phone #54: Dumbest Purchases

19 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We've all fallen victim to buying items from targeted ads that seem like the cure to all our problems. This week the dialers are sharing the purchases...

Berner Phone #53: The Best Excuses

14 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What if we all stopped trying to make excuses and just said no? The moral of today's episode is "if it's not a fuck yes it's a no".    zocdoc.com/be...

Berner Phone #52: Pets Gone Wild

05 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pets are the glue that hold our lives and our mental sanity together. But they have minds of their own and despite what we may think, they don't alway...

Berner Phone #51: Minor Disasters

29 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are sharing the minor things that feel like a complete disaster. From incorrect food orders to stubbing your toe - days are being ruined n...

Berner Phone #50: Solving Your Dial-emmas

23 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve you...

Berner Phone #49: Bad Drivers

14 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was ...

Berner Phone #48: When Bad Things Are Good

08 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wim...

Berner Phone #47: Best Song Lyrics Ever

30 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her wa...

Berner Phone #46: Hannah's Next Special

23 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah and Des are both in the process of writing a new hour of stand up. The dialers are helping to spark some creativity and inspiration. Are Irish ...

Berner Phone #45: Best Flirting Strategies

15 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hannah, Des, and the dialers are recalling their best and worst attempts at flirting. We discuss whether guys actually enjoy negging and drop one of t...

Berner Phone #44: Movies You Need To Watch

08 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Grab your popcorn. The dialers called in with their favorite old movies and Hannah tried to explain the cultural impact of Mean Girls. Go to Hungryroo...

Berner Phone #43: Invention Ideas

02 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favori...

Berner Phone #42: Airport Problems

26 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode raised our blood pressure. Traveling is stressful and fellow travelers often make it even worse. Perhaps a travelers license should be a ...

Berner Phone #41: Under the Influence

17 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hangxiety is the worst feeling to wake up to. But this week the dialers put their embarrassing stories to good use. Hannah and Des also have wildly di...

Berner Phone #40: Trying New Things In Bed

11 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode might "go down" as one of our all-time favorites. The dialers brought it this week with brutally honest and funny stories about their lat...

Berner Phone #39: Debunking Old Wives' Tales

03 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everyt...

Berner Phone #38: Useless Talents

26 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week useless talents are becoming useful. We cover everything from heckling babies to weird toe talents.  25% off at Seed.com/BERN with code 25B...

Berner Phone #37: Life Before Smartphones

18 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, ...

Berner Phone #36: Technology Mishaps

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Technology might be the great equalizer, but karma is not. The dialer's techonology mishaps involve OnlyFans, nudes, and awkward interactions. On the ...

Berner Phone #35: 2024 Icks

05 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers called in about their biggest icks this week. Hannah and Des also share their icks while debating middle schoolers in Sephora and pickleba...

Berner Phone #34: Going Rogue

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week we let the little dialers go rogue and tell or ask us anything. We investigate conspiracy theories, get asked some morbid questions, and get...

Berner Phone #33: Being Toxic

22 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We asked the dialers to share the most toxic thing they've ever done and they definitely delivered. Some were genius, some were petty, and some were b...

Berner Phone #32: Conquering Anxiety

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week the dialers are sharing their secrets to beating anxiety. As always they are hilarious, relatable, and wise. rocketmoney.com/BERNERPHONE min...

Berner Phone #31: Scams in Everyday Life

07 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode confirms that pretty much everything in life is a scam. The consensus is admin is taking over our lives, we are all spending more money t...

Berner Phone #30: Your "Dial"emmas

29 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The dialers are getting some major "dial"emmas off their chest this week. We cover everything from awkward family situations to open relationships and...

Berner Phone #29: Worst Parts of Adulting

22 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We don't cook and we don't clean, but we finally feel seen by the little dialers. From taxes to no more summer vacation, being an adult is hard and we...

Berner Phone #28: Best Ways to Destress

17 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you've been stressed out lately, this is the episode for you. The dialers are spilling the most unique and creative ways they destress. We already ...

Berner Phone #27: Wildest Meet Cutes

09 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We asked the little dialers the craziest ways they have met a romantic partner and they did not disappoint. Apparently love is real and can happen whe...

Berner Phone #26: Things We Hate

02 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The little dialers have some hot takes this week. They're coming for dogs, Hannah's love for Italian food, and Taylor Swift.  Free delivery with code...

Berner Phone #25: Worst Hookups Part 2

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The little dialers have had so many first date and hookup mishaps that we had to make another episode! From awkward sutations to mildly gross confessi...

Berner Phone #24: Worst Hookups

18 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week's prompt was a hit and the dialers have had some wild mishaps in the bedroom. $15 off skincare at apostrophe.com/PHONE Free delivery at Sque...

Berner Phone #23: Exciting Updates

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week we are getting updates from some of our favorite dialers. Hannah and Des share some personal updates, we get the full happy ending story, an...