Bitch Bible

Bitch Bible Holiday Classics: New Year, Same Bitch

30 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie greets 2019 with the same morally flexibility of years prior. She breaks down the post holiday blues, her friendship with Taylor Swift, the Gol...

Bitch Bible Holiday Classics: Hoe Hoe Hoe with Heather McMahan

23 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places.Thanks for sup...

Bitch Bible Classics: The B*tch That Stole Christmas

20 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie celebrates Chrismukkah early by spreading joy (not) on all things festive and annoying. From targeting innocent civilians, berating Bachelor co...

Ratatouille

16 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie gives an update on Rat Search 2025, gives Diddy the dressing down he deserves, and critiques Bethenny Frankel’s home decor.Thanks for support...

Acid Reflux à la Heather

10 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is back stateside and recaps her trip to Paris with Heather McMahan, puts on the performance of a lifetime in an attempt to get a leather appoi...

Yelping

02 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie has changed her Yelping ways and writes not one, but two powerful, glowing reviews for a local oyster bar, reviews Wicked for Good, and goes co...

The Progressive Parisian Princess

25 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie counts down the days to her Paris trip, beams with pride at Clyde’s love of schadenfreude, and gives thanks for hoes in multiple area codes.T...

A Tinned Fish Bish

18 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie takes a well earned deep breath following the completion of the Dim the Lights tour, rails against the glorification of tinned fish, and advise...

Bitch Bible Classics: Yo Soy Loco

15 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie announces some exciting news (don't worry, she is not pregnant) drops some spicy marital advice and tackles religion (why?).Thanks for supporti...

Bush Concert

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recounts the inappropriate attire at the Sabrina Carpenter show in Nashville, plans a second heist at the Louvre, and extols the benefits of he...

Low Glam with Amanda McCants

04 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is joined by Amanda McCants to discuss being late, Westlake mom’s, Amanda’s recent breakup, and everything on her hate list.Thanks for supp...

Drops of Stupider

28 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is back from her San Fransisco redemption show, and discusses the perfect soundtrack for a plane crash, takes family photos before Andrew loses...

WWHKD, Baby

21 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie’s back with new extensions and shoulder pads to discuss fostering a child at the park for 8 minutes, clarify that she is not a rat with a mic...

Bitch Bible Classics: Apologies In Advance

18 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recounts her recent social encounters, pays homage to her favorite celebrities and alienates 96% of her listeners.Thanks for supporting my spon...

Dissipitation

14 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie discusses her recent staycation and the benefits of sympathy upgrades, her thoughts on The Life of a Showgirl, and the heavy burden of being de...

Bleak Lively (feat. Chunky Lowlights)

07 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is joined by the incredible Michelle Collins to discuss, fixing and being fixed in relationships, bringing back bullying and shame, and why the...

Pusillanimous

30 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Alone in the trenches of her home this week, Jackie discusses how some people need to be punched to get some grit, names the greatest trait in a house...

You Never Know When It’s Time to Demo

23 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is feeling loose after a couple drinks, and plans a bathroom renovation, laments the clothes that got away, and previews Off Brand October.See ...

Bitch Bible Classics: A Woman Unhinged

20 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is back from Australia, jet-lagged and bitchier than ever. She recounts her unlucky flying history, Real Housewives and why Bermuda shorts are ...

Uprooted

16 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie loses sleep over Amy Bradley, gets into a fight with a girl from high school, and recalls how much simpler the early 2000’s were. And of cour...

Munchausen By Proxy

09 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recounts a beautiful experience with Clyde feeling unwell, books a flight for Paris, and explains the Princess Treatment, Red Nail Theory, and ...

The Summer I Turned Petty

03 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recaps the sick game Belly is playing in The Summer I Turned Pretty, discusses Clyde’s aspirations to be the next Mikhail Baryshnikov, elabor...

With Hate, John Hill

26 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sits down with living sculpture John Hill to discuss his sobriety, the most trouble he’s ever been in for something he said on the radio, a s...

A Bitch Bible Extravaganza Birthday Celebration for the Masses

19 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's Jacqueline Taylor Schimmel-Haas' birthday, and she's been preparing for months her 2025 list of things she hates - some are broad, some are niche...

Bitch Bible Classics: Wanderlust, Sparkles and Braille Buttholes

16 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie gets her sphincter lasered, creates a fake Instagram for her husband, and has the harsh realization that she may never see Cheryl again.See Pri...

The Lion Portal is Open

12 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie deals with a biohazard event with her drunken sorority sister Clyde, chastises the internet for its mediocrity and lack of intelligence, and do...

Going Clear

05 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie suspects she has been bugged by Scientology after her live show in Clearwater, discusses the real problem with Madi Prewett’s husband, and th...

Urine on the Dance Floor

29 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

How much does Jackie hate the beach? Let her count the ways…Jackie suggests JoJo Siwa is in desperate need of a transformational, spiritual journey ...

Instant Showmanship

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recaps the first leg of her Dim the Lights tour, discovers that she is brave and vulnerable, and introduces Clyde to the bright lights of show ...

Bitch Bible Classics: Me Against The Music

19 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie deals with her Grammy nomination snub, why some funerals feel like low budge Coachella and delights with some new poetry she penned after a few...

Recreationally Crazy

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is joined by Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon to discuss Chat GPT's lies, waxing mishaps, and Adam's obsession with collecting stone fruit, cr...

The Pickling Princess

08 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie takes up pickling, shoots up at a child’s birthday party in the park, and goes over her tour packing-list that will almost certainly get Josh...

Pop Culture News with Jackie

01 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie mourns the death of quiet luxury, heralded by Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s childhood-trampoline-park-Chuck-E-Cheese style wedding invitati...

Deep and Niche

24 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recounts a harrowing experience trying to buy candle pillars for grandma Gloria, has a religious experience with a pink canvas Bottega jacket, ...

Dead Jackie

18 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie addresses some public scrutiny from a recent radio appearance, discusses what Labubu represents, talks shit on Andrew for party mix, and reveal...

Bitch Bible Classic: She's Back

14 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie makes her highly anticipated (not really) return and attempts to breeze into 2018 with the finesse of a young Grace Kelly. Until she is confron...

Erase/Rewind

10 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is solo parenting this week and explains why Andrew's use of the words "Cozy" and "Chilly" is grounds for divorce. She also gives the single be...

The Reverse Bethenny

03 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie advises JLo and Sydney Sweeney to approach life from a place of 'no', gives her opinion on personalized license plates and Disney adults, and a...

Tradgiki Tzatziki

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie discusses bearing the burden of other people's stupidity, her new obsession with Dianna Agron's longing for a simple life with früt, and plans...

Eating Is Cheating

20 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie discusses her pre-menstrual cycle dreams, announces her (presumably) Sundance and Cannes award-winning live show, and gives updates on the Didd...

Bitch Bible Classics: Bitching in Hell

17 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of h...

Rental Kelly

13 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sits down with Stassi Schroeder to discuss Vanderpump Villa, their purple and yellow auras, Parseltongue, and the foundational principals and t...

Mercury Rising

06 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie reveals a recent medical diagnosis, discusses her influencer weekend in Cabo, and plans a tripych for her gallery wall of shame.Thanks for supp...

Nebbiolo Tits

29 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie and Tinx go on their second podcast date and talk Stagecoach, Jackie’s brand trip rebellion, and Tinx’s sparkly new book, “Hotter in the ...

No Doute About It

22 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sits down with Kristen Doute, the undisputed star of The Valley, to discuss how the cast has changed, her daughter's nursery decor, and busking...

Bitch Bible Classics: Sister Act!

19 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is joined by her sister to reminisce on problematic child behavior, Alex McCord and a bunch of other shit Jackie can't remember because she doe...

Living on a Main Road

15 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie gets an NAD+ injection and discovers the connection between hair extensions and brain worms.Thanks for supporting my sponsors!GDEFY: Use the co...

Triple Axel, Untouched

08 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie hurls a fellatory insult at a woman standing in her parking spot, has a romantic encounter with her Uber driver, and reveals her idea for a shi...

Right On Time

01 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie celebrates the glory of Kate Hudson, discusses side hustles and the perfect Deluxe Martini recipe, and writes Clyde a beautifully poignant emai...

Jacqueline of Indian Wells

25 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie was feeling joyous and effervescent this weekend when she recorded a banger of an episode, but due to computer issues that episode is gone fore...

Fiscal & Feisty

18 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is joined by the one and only Max Bronner to discuss living in a deficit, Trader Joe's Tomato Leaf candles, and Jackie's trauma dump. Thanks fo...

Bitch Bible Classics: Roses Are Red...

15 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie embodies a modern day Shakespeare with some freestyle poetry, an homage to Alex McCord and why she might sue Jeff Bezos.Thanks for supporting m...

Microannoying

11 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie presents a Meghan Markle case study, decides to travel to Paris in economy as a woman of the people, and explains why kids should smoke.Thanks ...

Oriental Rug?

04 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie welcomes Zachariah and Jonathan from the Camp Counselors Podcast to talk about decorating trends, tootling, home ownership, and to perform t.A....

We're Tapping, We're Tapping

25 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie has been in a very pleasant mood recently, so it's time to let out some pent up bitchiness, get off the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni merry-g...

Evil Whiperer

18 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie's recording on Valentine's Day and describes her solo outing with Clyde at the Cheesecake Factory, and runs into a young Jeffrey Dahmer at the ...

Bitch Bible Classics: Monster Masterclass

15 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie goes back to basics and teaches a masterclass on leading with your inner psycho. She fine tunes her betrayal course of action plan and recounts...

Let Them.

11 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A very special Super Bowl episode - Jackie discusses Kendrick Lamar's flawless half time show, the strange pairing of testosterone and too much food, ...

Be Brief, Be Bright, Be Gone

04 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie discusses falling in, and then quickly out of, love with a piano, compliments and critiques the Grammy's fashion, performances, and bangs, and ...

Respected, Not Relevant

28 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is nursing a hangover, but bravely pushes through to talk about her role as a trophy wife at Grammy’s Parties, give a controversial take on R...

Introducing: Horoscope Weekly with Aliza Kelly

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Join Aliza Kelly every Monday as she decodes the latest astrological events and provides detailed, personalized horoscopes from Aries to Pisces, with ...

Minimalist Dream

21 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie addresses her follicular-debris inspired divorce post on Instagram, praises the artistic masterpiece that is RHOSLC, and discusses the most rec...

Bitch Bible Classics: Are Balls Webbed?

18 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie enters another dangerous stream of consciousness after learning about her astrological chart. She discusses the atrocity of gender reveals, Ch...

Spread Joy, Not Embers

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie roasts the RHOSLC reunion looks, yells at a racist man at the farmer’s market, and lets you know why the TikTok ban just isn’t that importa...

With Hate, Jackie

07 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie kicks off the new year by continuing her Justin Baldoni/Blake Lively investigation, roasting the Golden Globes red carpet, and sharing her high...

Baby Girl

31 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie and Max discuss New Years Resolutions, Jackie reviews Baby Girl, A Complete Unknown, and Challengers, and rips festive ice cubes.  Thanks for ...

Bitch Bible Holiday Classics: A Latke and Too Much Vodka

24 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Hanukkah-Eve! We’re celebrating the best way we know how — by re-releasing Jackie’s 2018 drunk Hanukkah episode. Jackie dunks on the Victo...

Bitch Bible Holiday Classics: I’m Literally So Sorry.

17 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’re reminiscing on Jackie’s Christmas past, and taking you back to 2021, when Jackie had one too many Christmas martinis and decided ...

Bitch Bible Classics: Excusez Moi!

14 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie talks about bringing Grandma Gloria to "Paris" and how she nearly died over steak frites, why Andrew and her almost divorced and what to do whe...

Outlet Mall Madness

10 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie and Max do some hard-hitting journalism on Jacob Elordi’s beard, go over Jackie’s breakdown at the Cabazon outlets, and get into the holida...

Bad Gay

03 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Max is back to discuss Jackie's mold infestation, why everyone needs a rich friend, and how Ariana Grande did the world a favor by licking that donut....

Anything you can do, I can do better!

26 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie declares that she can beat anyone in a fight, mourns the glory days of RHONY, and deep-dives toxic traits with bff Max Bronner. Thanks for supp...

Not warm, not cool

19 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recovers from a traumatic slash disease riddled weekend with best friend Max Bronner to discuss amateur design tips and tricks, toxic personali...

Bitch Bible Classics: Call Us Daddy

16 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sits down with Alex Cooper from the "Call Her Daddy" podcast to talk about her public media crisis, psychological warfare, friend break ups, pl...

I Get Rocks

12 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is ready to abandon her family, has a deeply bizarre foot massage and recaps housewives, the "Wicked" premiere, Boursin cheese recipes and toxi...

Just Thrive with Tina Anderson

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sits down with Just Thrive CEO Tina Anderson to discuss gut health, bathroom regularity, and the disrupting forces of fire season and Big Pharm...

Paralyzed and Traumatized

05 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie has a dysport malfunction, continues Off Brand October with some holiday decor mishaps, recaps dorky celebrity halloween photoshoots, and start...

Never Full

29 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie yearns for nostalgia by antiquing, making a case for the "Never Full" comeback, why low contrast makeup is next level dumb, and answers some mo...

Little Miss Sunshine!

22 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is having a rough week and recaps a current stalker situation, takes down TMZ, and congratulates Britney Spears on her nuptials!  Thanks for ...

Snowed Thin!

15 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie recaps her trip to Boston and appearance on the "Call Her Daddy" tour, reignites beef with her community college bully, discusses pop culture h...

Bitch Bible Classics: Spanx On a Plane

12 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is back on American soil and recaps her trip, all the pop culture happenings she missed and why she shouldn't carry mace. Thanks for supporti...

On The Hamster Wheel

08 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is having a rough day and recaps her new favorite shows, why integrating braids into your hairstyles is a cry for help, issues a PSA to Lady Ga...

She Leaves A Little Sparkle!

03 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie kicks off Off Brand October with some toxic positivity! She celebrates solitude, self love, Diddy's destiny, and connects with her community!! ...

Mo Money, Mo Clippies

24 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie breaks down Diddy-gate, recaps Real Housewives, Bennifer re-uniting, and her new affinity for Costco! Thanks for supporting my sponsors! CBDist...

Bitch Bible Classics: Bikeshort Regrets with Brad Goreski

21 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

 Jackie sits down with Brad Goreski to talk fashion, housewives and marital psychotic moments.    Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Sono Bello: Lea...

Red Carpet Rehab

17 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sends her son to pacifier rehab, breaks down red carpet looks, pop culture happenings and has an existential life changing trip to Costco! Tha...

Bitch Bible Classics: Potpourri of Negativity

14 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie goes over a very detailed account of people, places and bizarre things that give her rosacea and make her irrationally angry. She also goes thr...

Toxic Shock

10 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie discusses recent pop culture happenings like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship, Jennifer Lopez post divorce trail blazing and some t...

Bitch Bible Classics: Little Brown Bebe Shoes

07 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie sits down with Alexis Neiers Haines to talk about going to high school together, the "Bling Ring" fiasco and the triumph of getting your SH*T t...

Fleur de Labor

03 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie reminisces on childhood catfishing, chili dog psychology and more people, places and things she hates in honor of Labor Day!! Thank you for su...

Bitch Bible Classics: Hotline Bling

31 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie answers calls from her new BITCH BIBLE HOTLINE and gives listeners the brutal advice they so desperately need. See Privacy Policy at https://a...

Dust Ruffle Diva

27 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie has an out of body experience in a public restroom, attempts to cancel Balenciaga and psychoanalyzes the correlation between Bennifer home deco...

Bitch Bible Classics: Tuesdays With Morgy with Morgan Stewart

24 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie and Morgan Stewart have the ultimate full throttle bitch sesh. They discuss the Oscars (boring), trade Gone Girl stories and like 459 other tan...

JACKIE'S BIRTHDAY BASHFEST.

20 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As a gift to herself, Jackie discusses people, places and things she irrationally hates for over an hour.Thank you for supporting my sponsors!Addyi: Y...

Bitch Bible Classics: Birthdayzilla

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie enters a stream of consciousness solo. She recaps all of her "stories" imparts some misguided wisdom and answers listener emails!See Privacy Po...

It Ends with Sus.

13 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie deep dives "It Ends with Us" drama, gets into her baby's first parking lot altercation and condemns Kanye West! Thanks for supporting my sponso...

Bitch Bible Classics: Here For the Wrong Reasons

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie nails her first one on one date with Bachelor Nation's Nick Viall. They talk deal breakers, Bachelor drama, relationships and more!   See Pri...

Domestic Terrorism

07 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie is back from New York with her terroristic son, celebrates Charli XCX's birthday from a distance and psychoanalyzes Blake Lively's press tour ...

Bitch Bible Classics: Livin It Up

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie updates listeners on being a bridezilla, no-Chella and her lust for carbohydrates. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp: Visit www.BetterHelp.c...

Let it Bern

30 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jackie has an unexpectedly deep and wholesome conversation with Hannah Berner for some feel good fun at the tail end of Hannah's press tour. Thanks fo...