Bitch Bible
Episodes
Bitch Bible Classics: YAHABIBI WITH COUNTESS LUANN!
25 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie sits down with rising phoenix Countess Luann de Lesseps to deep dive all things Real Housewives, effortless elegance, lesbian trysts and JOVANI...
Collect Yourself
23 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie recaps her son's first birthday party, why Shannon Beador is the best housewife of all time and why the alcoholics are ruining Disney World. Th...
Bitch Bible Classics: Tour de Bitch
18 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie recaps her live podcast tour, dissects female dynamics, recaps the Oscar's and plans a trip to New Mexico to visit Tupac. See Privacy Policy a...
CALM APLOMB with Whitney Cummings
16 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is joined by friend Whitney Cummings to discuss psychotic traits, tampon trauma and spread Lyme(s) Disease awareness? Thanks for supporting my ...
Bitch Bible Classics: A Look Inward
11 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is flying solo this week and delights listeners with stories from her drunken weekend, that time she got abused by a homeless woman and explore...
Simmer Down Schimmel
09 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie reignites a 2016 feud with Olivia Culpo, spreads some love and light by sharing a current gratitude list and starts a new initiative to replace...
Bitch Bible Classics: Caulk Tease
04 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie endures a cheating scandal, finds love at the Home Depot, seeks justice for Sarah Jessica Parker and makes her own asshole clench with next lev...
There's Something About Gary
02 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie sits down with legend Gary Janetti to discuss niche travel insights, the trauma of faux plants and pop culture history.Thanks for supporting my...
Bitch Bible Classics: Journey with a Capital J!
27 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie enters another verbal downward spiral after being targeted on social media, discusses her sexual fantasies with John Mayer and why she will NOT...
Bratard Summer
25 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie breaks down rodent hot boys, highschool graduation updates, trauma dumps and why no one cares about the hard boiled eggs you had for breakfast!...
Bitch Bible Classics: Teppanyaki Tears
20 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A throwback so unhinged no intro is needed. After a solo teppanyaki breakfast, Jackie rants about everything under the sun, and tells the origin story...
Bitch Bible Classics: Velcro Vagina
13 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie presents a cautionary tale of waxing at home as a PSA to women everywhere.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privac...
So High School
11 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie shares a life altering secret that will shock and disappoint listeners and creates a course of action to rectify the humiliation. And she also ...
Bitch Bible Classics: Love, Baby
06 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie promotes her soon to be award winning short film documenting her recent experience with the NASDAQ billboard in New York, and revisits the time...
Imposter Foster Sister
04 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is joined by Erin and Sara Foster to discuss sisterly tensions, child rearing and other niche disgruntles of the world! Thanks for supporting...
Bitch Bible Classics: Prank Calls
30 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie shares her favorite prank calls that didn't ensue legal ramifications!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy No...
Despair in Times Square
28 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie heads to New York for public humiliation, starts beef with NASDAQ and the American Women's Fencing Team and returns home with a rolling cooler ...
Bitch Bible Classics: Caesar Salad Scissor Sisters
23 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Despite her better judgement, Jackie brings back a fan favorite episode, and re-reminisces on family trauma that got projected onto an innocent Caesar...
Fully Activated with Lindsay Hubbard
21 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie sits down with Lindsay Hubbard from Summer House to discuss all your unanswered questions about her relationships, sandwich preferences and ful...
Bitch Bible Classics: Cardi B
16 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie revisits her least favorite episode with Cardi B from nearly 10 years ago and cringes the whole way. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/p...
Kappa Kappa Kyle!
14 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie sits down with Kyle Richards to discuss all things Real Housewives, her whirlwind year, her next chapter and most importantly her sister Kim’...
Bitch Bible Classics: Cousin Jo
09 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
After a 4 year hiatus, we are re-introducing Jackie's problematic yet fantastic cousin Jo. After her last appearance lost Jackie a longtime sponsor, J...
Met Ball Tuesday!
07 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie shares tales of yesteryear, reviews "The Idea of You" and does LIVE coverage of the Met Ball 2024 fashions! Thanks for supporting my sponsors!D...
Bitch Bible Classics: Michael Rapaport
02 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We are going back in time and revisiting some staple “Bitch Bible” classics. Starting off strong (and safe) with some housewife sociology lessons ...
Petty Young Thing
30 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie dissects controversial Taylor Swift lyrics, has another almost altercation at her local Homegoods and celebrates lesbian visibility week!Thanks...
I Have Rabies.
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie publishes her first work of literature by way of Yelp review after being attacked by a rat in Home Depot, reviews the new Taylor Swift album, a...
Glochella
16 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie dissects Coachella culture, Gen Z ruining everything, Pookie updates and women's sports. Thank you for supporting my sponsors!Factor: Use code ...
Lessons in Detachment with Heather McMahan
09 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie phones friend Heather McMahan for emotional support dealing with grief, the eclipse, manipulative marital strategies and red carpet disasters. ...
She Hath Risen!
02 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie debuts her latest act of philanthropy, celebrates Easter by relishing in families get hit with a tundra and discusses the latest in pop culture...
Losers Lose
26 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie ponders marine life, reminisces on the early 2000's, offers a variety of musical and television critique, and reinfects her eyeball with conjun...
Calma Calma Chameleon
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie breaks down Vanderpump Rules, her recent trauma at Target, new beef with a narc neighbor and distasteful motherhood updates! Thank you for supp...
Parisian Secretion
12 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is back from Paris Fashion Week with the raw retinas to prove it. After contracting conjunctivitis, she recaps her medical trauma whilst abroad...
Lights! Camera! Rosacea!
05 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie hath sold her soul and is living for the lights! She discusses her latest motherhood fecal altercation, takes issue with Jess Glynne and gets r...
Micromanaged Frappucino
27 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie hits a low point by way of flaming hot cheetohs and a drive thru frappucino. She also breaks down toxic human narratives, the time Andrew found...
Amoxichillin
21 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie recaps her Valentines Day plan, Andrew's birthday party, motherhood musings, Beyonce's new country music venture and justice for Kelly Rowland!...
Jiffy Ja'dore
13 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has her first experience with shrooms by proxy at a Homegoods, recaps the Superbowl (yay sports) and reveals why she should probably h...
Problematic Popstarz
06 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie recaps the Grammy awards, gives some Handy Andy updates and debriefs on Pookie's problematic past! See Privacy Policy at https://ar...
Kooky for Pookie!
30 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie finds her new favorite influencer, shares her own personal Make A Wish Foundation experience that will land her in a utility closet at Paris Fa...
Uncut Gems
23 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has a traumatizing experience at her local market that ends in tamiflu tears. We also unpack Aritzia (like why), how not to behave at a breakfa...
RAT MODE
16 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has another altercation with Grandma Gloria, discusses mob wife aesthetic, recaps the toxic desire for relevancy a la Monika from Real Housewiv...
ThIs LiTtLe LyFe
12 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is back from the Bahamas and recaps being a hands off mother abroad, makes fun of influencers (shocker), talks Golden Globes, RHOSLC finale the...
2024
02 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie brings in the New Year with a marital update after Andrew leaves Jackie to fend for herself as a single mother during Christmas, starts beef wi...
Rabies & Rizz
19 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie s fighting for her life and marriage before the holidays. She almost enters a cabernet crime scene, gets attacked by a bat and is on the brink...
Hannukunt
13 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie enters the holiday season with marital tension after her husband refuses to write her a new pop song. She also recaps her Bravocon adjacent han...
THAT'S SUPER!
05 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is guiding light for the LGBTQIA+ community, has an awkward confrontation at a furniture outlet, slings some lukewarm takes on this weeks celeb...
Multicultural Mama
29 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie uncovers some extremely problematic home videos and would like to take ownership and apologize to her community. We also go over the G...
DIABOLLY
21 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is a patron of the arts and goes to a film screening, gives tips on how to be toxic this holiday season, reprimands Caitlyn Jenner for being pr...
Let It ... Snow?
14 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie sits down with Madi Murphy from the Bad Broadcast to talk about Mormonism, embarrassing wedding behavior and the girls offer a stunnin...
Errors Tour
07 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie recaps Bravocon happenings, how to evict a gerbil from your rectum, plays charades with Grandma Gloria and answers some listener burning questi...
Live, Laugh, Ling Ling!
31 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie gets cancelled for appropriating appetizers, discusses celebrity Halloween lewks, tries to nurture her own telekinesis and discusses group soci...
WWBMD?
27 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie almost becomes a monk,stalks Beverley Mitchell and buys fake designer sunglasses from the dark web.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/priv...
FUCK HUMMUS
17 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has an actual psychotic break after a long day with her grandmother, husband and screaming baby. After getting into a wardrobe altercation with...
143 Nyquil
11 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie discusses the atrocities going on in Israel, why we should cancel that bitch Goldilocks, rude celebrities and explores problematic Halloween le...
Social as a Seabass!
03 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie talks about internal happiness, recaps Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the time she was a death doula on a plane and Handy Andy makes a lack...
Atone For What?
27 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie celebrates Yom Kippur by not atoning because she is perfect. She talks about Olivia Rodrigo, kegels, antisemitism and how to not be so annoying...
THAT'S SO FUNNY?
19 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie gets baby shamed by a woman named Trish, threatens legal action against the Anne Frank musical headed to Broadway, addresses Shannon Beadors le...
Stranger With My Sauce
12 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie dreams of Cheryl carving pumpkins, teaches you how to get more by doing less, the dangers of microbangs and has a new suburban nemesis. See Pr...
The Grass is Bottega Green.
07 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie thinks about starting a fictitious feud with other podcasters and realizes the grass is actually greener on the other side of motherhood. We ...
"Do Your Research!"
29 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is back from maternity leave and discussing the Rachel/Bethenny interview, preparing her home for a visit from Child Protective Services, has a...
AsK Me NoThInG WiTh JaCqUiE
22 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie ventures into uncharted waters by doing an "ask me anything" episode to strengthen her connection to her community!See Privacy Policy at https:...
The Gayfather Part Duex
15 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It's Leo season and Jackie is joined by her morally bankrupt best friend Max to discuss all the things (literally can't remember what the hell we talk...
The Return of Stassi Schroeder
08 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie sits down with friend Stassi Schroeder to discuss motherhood, cancellations and Mormon candle culture.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/p...
I Had A Fucking Baby.
04 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and endin...
The Gayfather Pt 1
25 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is joined by her babies godmother Max Bronner. I can't really remember what we talked about but I am sure it's very offensive and for that we h...
La DoLcE ViTa!
18 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has not given birth yet and verbally assaults her audience on the tail end of this 40 year pregnancy. She also disccuses Kardashian dr...
Sassy & Septic!
11 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie gets fisted both medically and metaphorically in the last week of her pregnancy enduring a plumbing crisis, an emotional journey to TJ Maxx a l...
For America!
05 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie celebrates the Fourth of July by sharing all the things she hates about our country and its patrons! Including but not limited to: Target, Moth...
Preparation H
28 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has hemorrhoids, new psychological warfare tips and a not so sunny disposition as she enters the final days of her pregnancy. She covers "The ...
Reserve Fuel
20 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is on reserve fuel and using her final battery percentage to assasinate martini reels, the new feminist agenda, being haunted by her dead moth...
Sur La Lab(ia)
15 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is struggling in the final moments of her pregnancy. She recaps the final Vanderpump Rules reunion, her most recent parking lot verbal altercat...
Pride & Prejudice?
06 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie dedicates this episode and the entirety of its offensive contents to the gays. She recaps her babymoon, close encounter with Beverley Mitchell ...
Caravan to Nowhere
30 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is once again alone and miserable in her last weeks of pregnancy alienating the masses by talking about body dysmorphia, objectifying her unbor...
GO TO SLEEP!
23 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie deep dives Bethenny Frankel's social media decisions, romanticizes throwing phones at people and gives some unpopular pregnancy updates.See Pri...
Nuclear Tom.
21 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie psychoanalyzes the Vanderpump Rules finale, Taylor Swift and Matt Healy's relationship and pays homage to rough parenting skills.See Privacy P...
SILVER ALERT.
16 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is back from a home reno 5150 and ready to get cancelled! She recounts Grandma Gloria almost being abducted, her new problematic event planning...
"Oh Scary!"
02 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is dealing with pregnancy body shaming after a verbally abusive "masseuse" objectifies her. She also deals with her on again off again stalker...
Rising Phoenix
25 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie survived therapy camp and proves to show little to no growth. She breaks down the psychology behind the Sofia Richie wedding hype, makes a stro...
Sirloin, Farewell.
18 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is away at therapy camp and decides to go out with a bang. She discovers ground beef under her breasts, has a pedicure emergency with Grandma ...
Dalai Trauma
11 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is getting ready for her therapy retreat and for one final purge decides to cancel the Dalai Lama, make a case for consensual beastiality and w...
Artichokehold
04 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has a setback in her blissful pregnancy and considers leaving her marriage to be a single mother feasting on innocent souls and artichoke heart...
Eucalyptits
28 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie warns listeners of the aesthetic hazards of watching "Daisy Jones and The Six", makes a strong case for Eucalypts girlies and explains why her ...
Beef Curtain Boundaries
25 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie answers some listener questions, talks about her vagina falling out of her leotard at her sister's wedding and how to instill boundaries in thi...
Good as Mold!
23 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie survives a mold infestation and is in her new studio in her old crusty robe strategizing Raquelle Leviss' publicity crisis, deals with yet anot...
IT'S ABOUT TOM.
07 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie unpacks the Vanderpump Rules drama, Selena Gomez vs Hailey Bieber (kill me) and shares a low cal shirley temple recipe because she is nothing i...
Papaya Poltergeist
28 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie enters dicey pregnancy territory after ingesting a papaya salad, doubles down on her anti- Apple Watch stance and breaks down "Lucky Girl Syndr...
This One's For Mindy.
21 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie is joined by her best friend and life partner Max Bronner to discuss raising children, why wearing an Apple watch to a wedding is a death sent...
HOLLYWOOD GLAHM!
14 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie spreads more toxic negativity with public hatred for "Hollywood Glam" home decor, loser baby clothes, Valentines day theatrics, her latest Bli...
The Hills Have Spies
07 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie reveals the gender of her demon seed, champions Child Labor Laws, recaps the Grammy Awards and advises Pamela Anderson on her eyebrows. See ...
Once Upon A Mormon...
31 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie almost has a euphoric encounter with a Mormon but unstead gets sold solar panels after witnessing a geriatric woman being dragged by a great da...
Soup for The Soul
25 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie delivers a moving poem to Lenny Hochstein, explains how she ended up at a real housewives shabbat dinner and ruins any chance of being invited ...
Mama Bear!
17 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has been keeping a secret and is with child. She blames "hormones" while she alienates most of her audience by eviscerating women on the intern...
HaPpY 2023 xO jAcKiE!
03 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
After a week long sabbatical Jackie is back just in time for some New Years perspective to discourage you and remind you that change is not in your fu...
New Money Valley Stripper
21 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie accidentally ingests aluminum foil, has a come to Jesus moment over a 1 star review, has another psychotic break about why she can't get guests...
Hard Boiled Bitch
13 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie addresses "hard boiled egg girls", why headbands are the devil, Harry and Megan and the White Lotus finale!See Privacy Policy at https://art19....
Petty Hurts!
07 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie embraces the holiday season and celebrates the freeing element of hate in all forms. She talks about why hair accessories trigger her, petty bi...
Winter Is Coming.
29 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie enters the holiday season with a bang. She is tackling Balenciaga, tufted furniture, and everything else in her fraudulently festive wake. Grab...
Barely There and Breathtaking
22 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie enters the holiday season with tips on how not to embarrass yourself, discusses some Katink fashion philosophies and how she broke up Harry a...
Keep One Eye Open
16 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie recaps her Harry Styles experience, reflects on why people hate her and dodges pink eye from Grandma Gloria See Privacy Policy at https://a...
Quality Control.
11 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
After collosally fucking up her pre-recorded episode Jackie shows the integrity of a true professional by freeballing a new episode all in the purs...
Shabby Shriek
01 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jackie has a psychotic break after trying to help write music for local small businesses, has a stroke at Jennifer Lopez's home decor and offers Bever...