103: Parents in Sport – The Biggest Reason Athlete–Coach Relationships Break Down (and How to Repair Them)

The One Mistake Almost Every Sports Parent Makes In this powerful episode of Brain in the Game, we dig into one of the most emotionally charged dynamics in sport: the relationship between parents, coaches, and athletes – and the one mistake almost every parent makes, often without realising it. As the season winds down and pressure spikes, friction builds. Parents want the best for their child. Coaches want to develop the athlete. Athletes just want clarity, support, and space to perform. So where does it all go wrong? We break down the core misunderstanding that leads parents to unintentionally derail their child’s progress: Trying to control the sporting environment instead of supporting it. Through practical examples, developmental models, and lived experience as a coach, athlete, and parent, Dave explains how role-confusion creates tension – and how clearer boundaries create thriving, confident athletes. In this episode we delve into: The one mistake parents make that causes almost all conflict in sport – Why taking control, giving technical advice, or ‘fixing’ the athlete’s problems pushes the child and coach away. The Parent–Coach–Athlete triangle and why it becomes volatile – We unpack the emotional, structural, and seasonal triggers that turn small issues into big friction. The developmental control curve (what athletes need at each age) – From 90% coach control in early childhood to 90% athlete ownership in adulthood, and why parents often miss this shift. The difference between raising a human vs growing an athlete – Coaches coach. Parents parent. When roles overlap, athletes suffer. How to avoid bringing training home – Keeping sport at sport protects the relationship and the athlete’s mental wellbeing. The two magic questions every parent should ask – Game-changer. Why venting is healthy, and overreacting isn’t – How parents can be a safe sounding board without escalating issues or undermining the coach. How coaches can build trust with parents (and stop the ambush conversations) – Creating structured communication channels that prevent conflict and increase collaboration. How athletes can navigate both relationships without burnout – Understanding roles, boundaries, and how to communicate their needs clearly. Rather watch the video? You will find it here: https://youtu.be/bMLpV2_3mi8?si=pQ8YrNShnkDT_LWo Links mentioned in this episode: Episode 99 – Knowing Your Role In High Performance Sport: https://www.smartmind.com/podcasts/brain-in-the-game-sport-mind-coaching-podcast/episodes/2148754402  https://youtu.be/pE7BygxebTg?si=hEU7Q7Z1ahjPAgS3    

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