Show notes
0:00
Sharon: Welcome to this for 2021. It's so great that you're joining us. I'm here with the extraordinary Mr. Matt Lavars.
3:00 Matt: So I I'd love to start with the frame that most people think about goals at this time of the year as new year's resolutions.
I think that is the most common way to do it. Yeah. So it's the beginning of the year. And I think it's, it's easy to get excited about a goal at the beginning of the year, because you haven't done anything yet. You know, you're in that kind of fantasy world of I'm going to do this and I'm going to do this.
[00:04:02] Sharon: I don't know the stats on goal setting, but news resolutions. Most people quit them before the end of the first month. Yeah. The majority of people are more than 50%. Yeah. So, well, first year I think people set new year's resolutions when they're drinking.
[00:04:15] No, I'm kidding. But I imagine that it probably has something to do with it. Oh, they're in that state, like you said, a fantasy land where everything's possible and I'm going to be so different this year, instead of figuring out the behind the scenes stuff that we're going to talk about today, that means we stick to it for the whole year and feel even better about it at the end of the year, instead of feeling worse, also a lot of new year's resolutions, which I don't do.
[00:05:12] Matt: So one of the things that I find really interesting and especially in today's world is the lack of, um, accepting personal responsibility in just in culture. Uh, there's, there's a culture rising that doesn't agree with personal responsibility. It doesn't make sense to me, but do you think that's a component of why a lot of people don't achieve their goals because there's so many people that think, well, I'm going to, I'm going to drink less. I'm going to eat less.
[00:05:52] Sharon: all as we think that we're at the Beck and call of external forces?
Yeah. Our news [00:06:00] resolution doesn't have it yet. We don't have any, right. It can be nurtured. You there's nothing nurturing it. There's nothing. Yeah. Fertilizing it, yeah, that metaphor goes a long way. It nothing's, there's no sun on it because the sun's blocked out by all the reasons why we can't. So if the resolution it's easy to make the resolution and then just forget all the reasons why we didn't in the previous year, but if we don't deal with all the reasons why we did in the previous year, we're just heading into the same year.
[00:08:10] Sharon: So when we go through my dream book, it's ridiculous, the detail it's pages and pages breaking down and really thinking about what would make this ideal, what needs to shift or stop major. Around physical health. When we get to it, say one of them is to be more flexible. It's just the smallest thing. It's just do five minutes more of yoga.
Yeah. My big goal would you believe is when you do downward facing dog is to get my heels on the ground. Because my hamstrings, aren't very flexible. I've been trying for a year. That's great. So I'm still, well, when I started, I had about that angle, so about 45 degrees, really? I feel. Yeah. Yeah. And now I'm halfway through between 45 and ground, whatever that is.
[00:08:54] So yeah. That that's like the slowest journey ever, but it's a small thing that I can control and influence. So it is about what we can control, influence what we can persuade ourselves we can impact and be proactive about versus what we're going to externalize.
[00:09:09] Matt: One of the things that I love doing the school here is using the metadata omics profiling tool and the profiling tool gives a really interesting insight.
[00:09:18] It looks at breaks it down into four major categories for people that don't know about it. Um, and then breaks it down into, I think it's, um, 32 other little sub categories. And one of the traits that I find really interesting, I can't remember the name of the trait, but essentially what it is. It's what you were talking about.
[00:09:32] It's the ability to critically look at our strengths and our stretches. Yep. Um, do you think that when that is low. That's going to hinder someone's ability to be able to achieve goals, because when I'm listening to what you're saying, I'm thinking that's great. But I reckon there's a lot of people that just don't think, well, what, what needs to change?
[00:10:00] Sharon: the question has to be who do I want to be? It can't be, what do I want? Yeah, it's going to be here too. I want to be, yeah. All my goals that we're going to go through today, you have the goal setting strategy is based on who do I, who am I going to be?
[00:10:13] And I've been doing definitely two decades. So there's been, you know, what is it they say, if you want to fly from here to Hawaii. Not that I would right now, but if I was, you just need to be 2%, of course, in your arriving in the Atlantic or somewhere bizarre. Right. So it's just the 2%, each moment just adjusting each year.
[00:10:33] So over two decades, if I adjust me by 2%, if I grow in an error by 2% a year. Yeah. That compounds. That's a massive amount of change over two decades. Yeah. Rather than use resolution, which is it's got to all happen. I'm more into the incremental and just rather than what I want to have, it's who do I want to be?
[00:10:52] And then when I decide, and I pretty clear on my future best self, when I'm clear on my future, best self, which I put stacks of time into, then it's about, well, what would I be? What would be expressions of that? And it could be, for example, to be my future self is to continue being great at wealth creation.
[00:11:12] What would be an expression of that? And then I figure out, well, it would be to save a little bit of money into the investment account or whatever it is. So the doing or the having can't happen until I'm clear on. Who I need to be or who I want to be or who I'm growing to be. I don't have to get there this year.
[00:11:28] It's not a resolution. It's a lifetime. It's a lifestyle. I'm not planning to nail this. This year. I've got a lifetime. I think that's very important. Like there's no place to arrive this year.
[00:15:29] One of the things that I wanted to, um, ask you about this is something that I find very, very important for me. And I find it a massive problem in a lot of people, both lives is the inability to face. What is screwed about your life? Well, I see that as like a, it's like it's a cancer in people's mind, just to say, well, say for example, you're really overweight.
[00:15:49] And you don't face it. And I watched an interview the other day with, um, I don't know if you like piers Morgan, but I watched an interview with him is an interesting dude.