Join Sharon live in Los Angeles, the second stop of the world tour, and listen is as she discusses breaking away from an unhealthy fixation with the external, in regards both to the expectations people have ourselves and the struggles we face within. When we can ditch these behaviours, we can focus our energies on understanding and shaping the one thing we have complete power to change, ourselves. KEY TOPICS AND TIME STAMPS: 0.23 • I believe to become successful we have to figure out how to do something different • This may mean defying our family or our tribe of friends • My parents had it all mapped out for me • When I got accepted into law, they were thrilled • I made my family look so good, until I turned it down, then they were so disappointed • So I’m overcoming this conditioning, this expectation about who I should be • But my parents aren’t doing it deliberately, they were taught the same thing by their parents • We need to recognize that sometimes we are going to have to disappoint a couple of people • To live our own lives is to defy our upbringing 6.12 I want to share a model that may help give some perspective on this • This is about making sure we keep our journey internal and not spend too much time focusing on the external • Nothing external can solve how we feel about ourselves • When most people in their lives they view it as something outside themselves and they’ll often try to avoid it, blame someone for it, normalize it, etc • Anything other than looking within at what they might they actually might be able to change about the situation • And since we can’t force the external to change, most people live their lives repeatedly facing the same problem • Sometimes we even create external problems rather than focus on the internal 12.04 Most people would rather hang on to their identity than adapt and grow • They would rather hold on to a problem in their lives and invent external reasons for it than face the truth that it comes from within them • Who here was raised where focusing on fixing our problems was preferable than looking at how you created it? (Most people raise hands) • That’s how we’re trained • Often times we feel like we’re really good at solving other people’s problems, seemingly if they only listened to us it would be such an easy fix, but that rarely seems to happen, and advice from others rarely seems to solve our problems • That’s because even if a problem seems simple on the surface, reversing the patterns of thought and behaviour that led to it is not simple, and requires serious reflection and internal exploration • That’s why coaching is not about giving advice on how to solve their problems, but guiding them on the journey to understand their problems OTHER RESOURCES: • World Tour – www.tci.rocks/worldtour • Ultimate You Book - www.ultimateyouquest.com/book • Ultimate You Quest Telecast - www.ultimateyouquest.com • Upcoming Events at The Coaching Institute - www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/trainings • Sharon’s New Website - www.sharonpearson.com • Disruptive Leadership- https://www.disruptiveleading.com/ • Phone The Coaching Institute - 1800 094 927 • The Coaching Institute Fan Page – https://www.facebook.com/BecomeALifeCoach • Feedback/Reviews/Suggest a top to be discussed - [email protected] • Perspectives YouTube Channel – https://www.tci.rocks/youtube

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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