Why Do We Seek to Control Children? Discussing Montessori Education and Human Flourishing with Tom Brown

The idea of controlling children is one I hear often in traditional education discourse.The logic goes that we, as adults, know what our young people need, and must control them so that they get it.This is what we call adultism, and it is antithetical to the Montessori approach of following the child. In reality, young people know exactly what they need. We adults must simply be willing to listen.My recent podcast guest, Tom Brown, put it another way:“We seek to control in children what we hate about ourselves as adults.”Whether that’s smartphone usage, time spent on academic work, how “free time” should be “productive”- pick any issue we try to control in children and you will find an adult insecurity at the core of the desire to control.For practitioners listening to this episode, I hope this is an opportunity for you to lean into discomfort, to reflect on the ways you might seek to control your students and how you can work through this reaction.It’s not about being perfect, but rather about being on the journey together.About Tom Brown:Tom Brown is an AMI-trained guide specializing in both elementary and adolescent education, with an M.Ed. in Montessori Education and over a decade of experience teaching in public and private Montessori settings. He is the founder of Marigold Montessori, where he currently serves as an educational consultant, presenter, and coach. Tom has played a key role in establishing, leading, and supporting the growth of several Montessori schools and organizations in both the US and UK. His work is driven by a deep commitment to social justice, ABAR (Anti-Bias, Anti-Racism) education, youth advocacy, and child-centered learning. You can explore his writing here or connect here.Breaking the Paradigm of Traditional Education is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support this work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Join The Enlightened Educator Project Waitlist!The Enlightened Educator Project is on a mission to to develop mindful, reflective, and resilient educators to make education more humanizing and sustainable for all.If this resonates with you, we are looking for schools and individuals to join our cohort of educators who are building community and resilience together. We are currently looking to add members to our Fall cohort in October. Join the waitlist here: https://forms.gle/PsKNq8NrZ2FsabpN8 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit breakingtheparadigm.org/subscribe

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