Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
You can scroll the headlines all day and still feel empty. I'm Ben Higgins, and If You Can Hear Me is where culture meets the soul. Honest conversations about identity, loss, purpose, peace, faith, and everything in between. Celebrities, thinkers, everyday people, some have answers, most are still figuring it out.
And if you've ever felt like there has to be more to the story, this show is for you. Listen to If You Can Hear Me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband.
Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 1969, Malcolm and Martin are gone. America is in crisis. And at Morehouse College, the students make their move. These students, including a young Samuel L. Jackson, locked up the members of the Board of Trustees, including Martin Luther King Sr.
It's the true story of protest and rebellion in Black American history that you'll never forget. I'm Hans Charles. I'm Menelik Lumumba.
Listen to The A Building on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Black history lives in our stories, our culture, and the conversations we still have in today. This Black History Month, the podcast I Didn't Know, Maybe You Didn't Either, digs into the moments, perspectives, and experiences that don't always make the textbook. Let me tell you about Garrett Morgan. Bruh had to pretend he didn't even exist just to sell his own invention.
Listen to I Didn't Know, Maybe You Didn't Either from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or simply wherever you get your podcasts. I didn't know. What if mind control is real?
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Chapter 2: What dating advice did Roman receive from his hinge coach?
If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have? Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car? When you look at your car, you're going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings. Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you? I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused. Can you get someone to join your cult?
NLP was used on me to access my subconscious. Mind Games, a new podcast exploring NLP, a.k.a. Neurolinguistic Programming. Is it a self-help miracle, a shady hypnosis scam, or both? Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dude, we actually had a listener pay for advice. Of course, not our advice. Okay. Yeah, wait a minute.
He hired an actual coach.
And he did get one very, very, very useful piece of advice that you're going to hear in just a second. But first, we got to say thank you so much for being here on a Monday. We got a brand new episode for you on our Second Date podcast. And we'd love to highlight a comment.
Yeah, Melissa said, my boss saw me smirk and said, you've been smiling and giggling all day. Are you plotting something I should know about as I'm listening to your podcast? Just say yes. Yeah.
Just say yes. Why can't you just have like a new crush? Yeah.
Why can't you just have fun at work?
Oh, wait. Not allowed.
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Chapter 3: How did Roman's first date with Haley go?
Even the boss is like, what's up? All right. Your brand new episode starts right now.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you're a guy on a dating app right now, looking back to 2024, those were the good old days of online meetups. Just like a year and a half ago.
Oh, yeah.
I don't even remember those days. The golden era. Don't even get me started on 2023.
Ooh. You liked that one even more, huh?
They make documentaries about that time. But things have really changed, whether it's just a generations thing or the culture. The truth is, there's a lot of swiping and matching and chatting happening, but not a whole lot of meeting and hanging and actual romancing. You do get the sense that people are just over it. Yeah. You know, like, not doing it anymore. It's like we all know the routine.
Let's face it. There's a really good Netflix show you can binge with your cat right now. And you don't need some random guy to be there and ruin that for you. Honestly, the cat probably smells better. Yeah, so just block that dude and move on with your life solo. I get it. Okay. But one of our listeners says he was determined to change that narrative.
Okay.
Fix the pattern, and his name is Roman. He's asked for our help today. Roman, welcome to the show.
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Chapter 4: What concerns did Haley have about dating during wedding season?
Hey, guys. Thanks so much for having me. All right. You're going to fix it for all men out there or just for yourself, Roman? Well, at this point, I don't even know if it worked for myself.
There's the truth.
What was your plan? How did you try to change the online dating trends? Well, dating apps are so hard these days. And a lot of times I don't even know how to really get from just a regular conversation to an actual meetup. So I hired a hinge coach. Oh, you got a coach for it? Oh, okay. I didn't know that was a thing. I mean, I guess dating coaches have been around for a long time.
And we all have a friend that, like, can help, but, like, an actual coach. Yeah, someone that's, like, a professional that knows how the online matchups really work. And we'll be honest with you.
Okay. Let's be true. That's the key.
Your friends will not. But what did your hinge coach, what was his instruction for you? You know, he said something that was so simple, but it really changed my life. He said... Once you match, you had a couple of comments back and forth. You just have to go for it and say the following. Any quotes? Okay. I feel like getting to know each other would be more natural in person.
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Chapter 5: What pressure did Roman feel after his date with Haley?
Oh.
That's pretty well said. Implying that this feels very awkward between us right now. No, it doesn't, Jeff. I feel like that coach is not going to be happy you just spilled all his information that people pay for. I charge people $5 for that info. But it worked. It really worked. Now I'm actually getting dates. Oh, that's a good way to transition from the match to the actual making plans.
It's hard not to agree with that statement. Yeah. I mean, anybody could use it. Like guys, girls, right?
Yeah.
Aliens. Yeah. Sure. If aliens spoke English. Totally. I bet some girls would be down to try some alien species based on what they've had to deal with lately. So who's the woman that you matched with that you want us to call today? Well, her name is Haley.
Okay.
And also, this is some advice I can give that helps. Don't ask for her number. Give them your number. Oh, that's good. What's the strategy behind that? I mean, you would feel more comfortable as a woman that way, right?
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Chapter 6: What strategies did Roman use to improve his dating success?
Yeah, absolutely. And it worked. She texted me. And I was like, dude, this can't be real. Well, yeah. Put the ball in her court, right? Now, is this the first person that you use this strategy on? It wasn't the first, but it's been the most successful, which is why I'm so curious as to why it's not going any further. Yeah. We went out. We met. It was awesome. Okay. What did you do?
We went to a Mediterranean restaurant. Mediterranean? No, no, no. I like Mediterranean. Mediterranean. Did I say Mediterranean? You did.
That's vegetarian and Mediterranean mixed together, I think.
Yeah, yeah. We did the vegetarian Mediterranean diet. But it was going so well that even halfway through the date, we were talking about what we're going to do the next time.
cute oh those are rare i've been on dates like that but those are rare it's got to be a good sign that's what i thought but then we're talking and all of a sudden she gets real quiet and it seems like she's thinking more about it and i don't know what it is she's like wait a minute why did i say future plans oh my god is that what it felt like like she was trying to walk it back Absolutely.
I was worried she was thinking if we're moving too fast, or does she have other guys she wants to see? Because, I mean, she is gorgeous. She's really beautiful.
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Chapter 7: How did Roman and Haley's communication evolve after their date?
She's like, this guy's going to want to take me to another Mediterranean restaurant. I mean, it sounds like you have other women you're talking to as well. Not really, because my whole thing is like, we'll talk, but once we go out, if it is successful, then I kind of back off of the other people until I see where this one goes. Okay. Okay, you like to focus on one at a time.
You didn't ask her to do the same, did you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. All right, but you could tell there was the hesitation. Just for a moment, just for a moment. And then she kind of snapped out of it, and we started talking again, and it was amazing. But, you know, I didn't want to overstay my welcome, so I walked her to her car, and we actually, we kissed. Cute.
So what's happened since then? I mean, she hasn't completely ghosted me. It hasn't been all ghosting, but if I say, hey, do you want to plan the next time? I'll get back to you on that. Energy shift. It's like noncommittal. Yeah. She's brushing him off, for sure. And I just don't know what's going on, so I really need you guys to help me out.
Sometimes, Brooke, I'll ask you a question, and you'll say, I'll get back to you on that. You're not completely brushing me off, are you? I'll never get back to you on that. You should just say that directly, not have me hanging around. But then you have follow-up questions if I say that, and then that's annoying.
I know.
Communication is so hard. It's easier to just lead you on and make you think that you're going to get something.
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Chapter 8: What was the outcome of the radio show's intervention?
Oh, man. Where is that hinge coach where you need one to deal with your coworkers? I'll give you his number. Okay. I have a question. Did you ask him about this? No, my free trial expired. Oh, okay. She's not worth the $4.99. That explains. You're coming to the free service, Brooke and Jeffrey, in the morning. Yeah, we're free.
Hey, remember, you get what you paid for.
Okay, so we're going to do that. We'll give you exactly what you paid for when we call Haley and get some more details on what really may have happened on your Mediterranean date. It's coming up right after this.
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.
Planning your next date in the middle of your first one. That's something that doesn't normally happen unless you're really clicking and are both feeling excited and vulnerable with each other. And that's what our listener Roman says happened when he met up with Haley for dinner until a few minutes later when Haley suddenly got a little quiet. Like, uh-oh.
Why am I committing so quickly to another hangout with this guy? I barely know him. Yeah, that was definitely his read. Yeah, Roman wasn't exactly sure what she was thinking, but he did end up getting a kiss at the end of the night.
The weirdest part, though, is since then, she's been kind of brushing him off over and over, where he'll suggest a date and a time, and then she'll say, you know, I'll get back to you on that.
Yeah.
So it's been enough delaying where Roman has decided, forget it. I'm just going to come to the radio show. Get some real answers.
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