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Brooke and Jeffrey

Laser Stories (10/22/25)

22 Oct 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are some alarming statistics about distracted driving?

0.925 - 21.128 Brooke

Nobody had to tell your grandparents not to drive while using their typewriters. Why should it be any different for us kids and our cell phones? Distracted driving was the cause of more than 3,000 deaths in 2022. Come on, we're smarter than this. Let's put down the phones and focus on the roads. Drive safe, everybody.

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22.41 - 49.253 Unknown

Don't drive distracted. A message brought to you by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Project Yellow Light, and the Ad Council. And she said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night. Along the central Texas plains, teens are dying. Suicides that don't make sense. Strange accidents and brutal murders. In what seems to be a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad.

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49.734 - 56.042 Jeffrey

Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people. There are people out there that absolutely know what happened.

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56.022 - 65.323 Unknown

Listen to Paper Ghosts, The Texas Teen Murders on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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65.708 - 80.884 Dr. Elizabeth Poynter

Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you.

80.904 - 86.69 Unknown

100% of women go through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it?

87.031 - 94.939 Dr. Elizabeth Poynter

Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Poynter on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

96.1 - 114.513 Unknown

Michael Lewis here. My bestselling book, The Big Short, tells the story of the buildup and burst of the U.S. housing market back in 2008. A decade ago, The Big Short was made into an Academy Award-winning movie, and now I'm bringing it to you for the first time. as an audiobook narrated by yours truly.

114.994 - 129.87 Unknown

The Big Short story, what it means to bet against the market, and who really pays for an unchecked financial system, is as relevant today as it's ever been. Get The Big Short now at pushkin.fm slash audiobooks, or wherever audiobooks are sold.

Chapter 2: What strange incidents are happening in central Texas?

136.536 - 154.997 Dr. Leitra Tate

This is for the ones who had to survive and still show up as brilliant, loud, soft, and whole. The Unwanted Sorority is where Black women, femmes, and gender expansive survivors of sexual violence rewrite the rules on healing, support, and what happens after. And I'm your host and co-president of this organization, Dr. Leitra Tate.

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154.977 - 162.928 Dr. Leitra Tate

Listen to The Unwanted Sorority, new episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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It's the radio segment that convinced Girl Scouts of America to offer a healthy alternative to cookies. Really? So starting next year, order your Girl Scout gluten-free kale chips, which come in a variety of flavors, including not s'mores, but spores. Oh. Something you'd find on a fern. Yum. Which troop can sell the most with laser stories?

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191.995 - 213.77 Unknown

This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other parsnip pushers just don't. This first laser story is out of Kansas. A man named Michael Jackson was driving to work. I'm assuming it's not the Michael Jackson. Yeah, it can't be. I don't know.

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213.79 - 234.157 Unknown

I've seen the Thriller video, so he's done some pretty crazy stuff like that. You think he's back? Yeah, he could be. He did look like that towards the end. But this Michael realized he was getting very low on gas. So he pulled into a random neighborhood, knocked on a stranger's door, and asked the homeowner if they could spare some extra gas. Oh! Never thought about trying that.

234.177 - 260.516 Unknown

Why wouldn't he find a gas station? So the homeowner asked questions just like those that you were asking. Why don't you go to a real gas station? And that's when MJ admitted to the person saying he would do that, but the truck is kind of stolen. Don't you hate when you steal a truck that isn't on full? Yeah. You've stolen cars, right, brother? You know how this works. So lazy.

Chapter 3: How is women's health addressed in the podcast?

260.817 - 287.132 Unknown

He then added politely, please don't call the cops. No. I mean. He said, please. I honestly may be like, all right. As of now. It sounds like they did anyway, though, because officers showed up and spotted the truck with a different license plate than it had when it was swiped. He came up with that part of the plan. He just forgot the gasoline part. So Michael Jackson was arrested. Oh, man.

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287.152 - 314.961 Unknown

It still feels like he could have gone to a gas station, and it would have been less likely that he got caught. Yeah, it feels that way. The cops did note on their Facebook page that he was clearly not a smooth criminal. And puns. This next laser story is out of New Jersey. 25-year-old Amber Thompson was in a Marshall's checkout line that was taking way too long, and that made Amber really mad.

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I mean, it can be upsetting when you're just waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. Especially if you're like one little thing. Totally. Well, it's because the customer in front of her was being a little bit too friendly with the cashier. Oh, it's probably my husband. Chatting it up. Taking her sweet time. And that's when Amber started saying a few things out loud.

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Witnesses say Amber threatened to beat the woman up if she didn't hurry up. Okay. That's a little aggressive. Just like your husband? No, he's the one that's talking with the cashier.

346.553 - 348.458 Jeffrey

He's definitely going to get taken down.

348.478 - 368.074 Unknown

He's going to be like, well, you better start throwing hands because I like this person. We're besties now. I picked this line because Susan's working today. Okay, just give it to my left eye. Thing is, the lady didn't respond to Amber's threats. Instead, she finished her transaction and then walked out to her vehicle in the parking lot. Oh, okay. That's good. That's a reasonable thing to do.

368.094 - 385.178 Unknown

Yes, she stayed cool-headed. No, Amber didn't like that either. Uh-oh, no reaction. So she ran to the back of the kitchen department in Marshalls, got a set of steak knives, ran back to the cashier, paid for them, then made a mad dash for the parking lot. Oh no, she didn't. Thank God the line was short. Yeah.

385.198 - 401.524 Unknown

And that's when she found the slow woman from the checkout line and stabbed her in the arm with one of the knives. Kapooya! Kapooya! I thought she was going to go for the tires, not the... There's so many thoughts in that moment between the buying of the knives, the checking out of the knives, that you could have stopped yourself.

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