Masked Speaker: Do Away With Layaway
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What is the mysterious confession that kicks off the episode?
A confession I can't take back.
I am...
The Masked Speed. Text to 78592 says, when I finish using a machine at the gym, I increase the weight so the next person thinks I'm stronger
than I really am. Yeah, pro tip.
That's smart. Yikes. I don't know about smart.
What? What are you talking about?
I've seen less disturbing behavior from serial killers.
Okay.
Even, I mean, Ted Bundy at least had boundaries.
That's the comparison you're going to make.
Yeah, but no matter how unsettling your closet of skeletons is, we're willing to give you a pass if you confess here on the mass speaker while we keep you anonymous. Like today's caller who wants to use Timothy as his fake identity. So Timothy, welcome to the show.
Hey, thanks for having
me.
What can you bench Tiffany? Tiffany?
Timothy?
They both work.
How does the guest describe the $50,000 holiday donation and its purpose?
I can bench Tiffany.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess it's a fake name. You can go with whatever you want.
Whatever your muscles may or may not look like, we won't know because the voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.
Okay. Well, this is weird. So I used to work for a very popular retail store, but I won't say which one.
Ooh. Behind the scenes confessions. I love those.
Yeah.
Things you didn't know.
Okay.
Everyone think of a giant major store
and
imagine it's that one.
I got it.
Continue.
Blockbuster. Go
for
it.
Why did the store decide to apply the donation to all layaway accounts?
Wait. Retail, Jeff. Yeah.
So a few years ago, this was around the holidays. We had a customer come in who wanted to speak with the store manager. Okay. So I brought my manager over. And the customer said he wanted to do something nice for other people during the holidays.
It's
like
a
good speak to the manager
moment. These try-hards trying to make up for all the crap that they did. Stop it. Come on, Jim.
Get in the Christmas spirit.
Believe themselves of their sin.
Sure. Well, this one was really trying to make up for it because they brought in a check for $50,000. What? Oh,
dang. 50 G's? Why couldn't they go to a local place? Why didn't they go to a retail?
What happened to the remaining $13,000 after the layaway accounts were paid off?
Do you know how much difference that'd make if they did it with a non-profit who's actually doing work? Okay, don't complain. They're trying to do something
nice. I know, but it's so misguided. It kills me. It's a bank robber is trying to unload some of his cash so that the circulation can't be traced. That
makes sense. There
we go. I'm telling you. Anyway, so 50
grand? 50 grand. And he said he wanted to give it to us as a donation to pay off all the active layaway accounts in our store.
Yeah,
it was amazing. And they insisted they didn't want any recognition for this.
So the cops can't trace them, yeah. Yeah, sometimes
people want to just be anonymous and do good in the world. It was a check, Jeff.
That was so traceable. Yeah,
someone knows
who it is. Okay. So did you take the money?
Did the coworkers consider using the leftover money for personal layaway purchases?
Yeah, we accepted the check and we started processing the 50 grand towards all of our layaway accounts.
Okay.
And that meant any customers that owed money for the products had their debts paid off. oh my god it was incredible we were calling people to tell them they were crying over
the phone oh that's so sweet
it was crazy wow amazing that is
okay a lot of free tvs i'm hearing yeah you know
okay well it took a few we wound up paying off everything. But there was still about $13,000 left. What?
After you paid off all the layaway accounts, there was $13,000 left over.
You guys
just saved it because you're just like a non-profit would act and used it for later.
That's what
you
were kind of saying
already.
Yeah, later.
Well, our question was, what do we do with this $13,000? So one of my coworkers brought up the idea, what if we don't tell our manager and we use the money to buy stuff for ourselves and put it, quote unquote, on layaway? Oh. This
is not on the up and up, my man.
Technically, that's still paying off people's accounts. It's just our own.
As long as it's going towards a layaway account, even if it was created today, it's still what the donor wanted.
It feels weird. It feels bad.
Suddenly, now I'm on the side of the donor again.
How did the team justify keeping the extra funds as a “non‑profit” style reserve?
I've switched teams.
Now you love the robber.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the mysterious confession that kicks off the episode?
0:03–0:57
2
How does the guest describe the $50,000 holiday donation and its purpose?
0:57–1:29
3
Why did the store decide to apply the donation to all layaway accounts?
1:29–2:09
4
What happened to the remaining $13,000 after the layaway accounts were paid off?
2:09–2:59
5
Did the coworkers consider using the leftover money for personal layaway purchases?
2:59–4:29
6
How did the team justify keeping the extra funds as a “non‑profit” style reserve?
4:29–5:10
7
Was anyone ever caught or did the manager find out about the scheme?
5:10–5:54
8
Does the guest feel any guilt about the whole layaway operation?
5:54–6:33