Phone Tap: Heavy Heartstrings Inc.

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Brooke and Jeffrey 11 min 9 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the premise of the Phone Tap segment and who are the hosts?

Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 0:00
Hey, Portlandia fans.
Carrie Brownstein 0:01
Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.
Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 0:03
The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.
Carrie Brownstein 0:06
We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.
Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 0:18
And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.
Carrie Brownstein 0:30
Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised not just words, but a song, a melody.
Kyle MacLachlan 0:35
Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.
Carrie Brownstein 0:37
I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hayes Davenport 0:49
Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Every episode, we're trying to help our guests improve their careers by mainly focusing on how they can help us improve our careers.
Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 1:00
The show's famously super accessible, so you can easily jump into any of our 650 episodes and understand what's going on.
Hayes Davenport 1:06
We recommend some of our recent episodes with Ben Stiller, Danny McBride, Riz Ahmed, and Mary Steenburgen.
Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 1:11
Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Chelsea Handler 1:17
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.
Sam Jay 1:27
Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Nick Turturro 1:47
I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt?

How do the hosts introduce the “Heavy Heartstrings Inc.” call and set up the story?

Nick Turturro 2:02
To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called Happiness. Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now.
Nancy Glass 2:22
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 3 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous situation that destroyed two families. It's a scorched earth war that shows just how far someone will go to get what they want.
Paul (Paulie) 2:37
Cindy said, I had to choose between the truth and my family, and I had to choose the truth.
Nancy Glass 2:43
Listen to Season 3 of Burden of Guilt on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey host) 2:52
Today, we call a single woman who's been dating around, hasn't found her perfect guy yet. So her friends wanted to mess with her a little bit. And it came to our mind that Jose could call using one of his famous voices, maybe like Rolando, and try to woo her as a guy that she matched with on Tinder. But instead, we decided to try out something a little bit new. And have a professional service call her with a romantic opportunity that she probably shouldn't pass up. In your phone tap right now.
Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 3:26
Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello? Hi. Is this Marissa? Yes, who's this? My name is Matt, Matchamaker. I've left you a few voicemails. What? I'm calling from Heavy Heartstrings Incorporated. Have you seen our ads on Tubi, maybe? No, I haven't. I don't have cable. That's fine. But what our company is known for is bringing past loves back to the lives of the lonely. Aww. Okay, I'm not interested. We're not selling anything to you. This service has already been paid for by your ex, Donovan. What? Well, don't sound shocked. He says you two were close and then split up like seven years ago. Yeah?

What does the mysterious caller claim about the ex‑partner’s message and why is it surprising?

Jose (Brooke and Jeffrey / prank caller) 4:18
So Donovan paid for our service and he would like to give you a message.

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