Okay story time. You’re at a bar with your friends. You’re looking fly, you’re looking spicy. You’ve got a drank in your hands, your girlfriends on your side, and not a care in the world. A mans walks up to you and you notice that he’s probably interested in you. You, on the other hand, are not. He starts to make small talk while moving closer and closer to you. You try to end the convo and get back to your lip syncin and drink sippin, but he stops you. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asks. You panic. You don’t want the drink and you want the mans to also leave you alone. You sort thru the filing cabinet drawer titled “Excuses” in your head. You bump into the summer 2020 banger by AP Dhillon & intense. Wrong drawer labelled excuses. You keep searching. Bam, there it is. You ask yourself which one you’re using this time: “Oh, I have a boyfriend, sorry” or “Thank you, but it’s girls night! I’d like to get back to them” or “I’ve had too much to drink already, thank you though!”. You take one out of the drawer, fumble while you’re saying it, sweating and getting nervous because lying always sucks. He looks at you in disbelief and walks away. This is a tale as old as time. Women: we are constantly playing mental gymnastics when shuffling thru the excuses drawer, when instead, we can literally just say NO. And I get it. Sometimes, saying you have a boyfriend is much of a safer bet than to tell a mans no bro I’m just not into you like that. But this pattern of not being able to say no bleeds into so many other facets of our lives as women. Straight up, I don’t know how to say no bro. In episode 7 of Brown Girl Guilt titled just that, I’m having a chat with one of the boldest, baddest, most outspoken women in my circle: Pamela Sangha. Pam is strong. She tells you like it is. She takes no shit and gives no shit. In this episode, I ask her what her relationship is with the word “NO”, how to set boundaries with yourself and others, and how to stop playing mental gymnastics with your mind’s filing cabinet drawer. Like BGG? Connect with us on Instagram @_browngirlguilt or www.browngirlguilt.com

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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