Is gentle parenting leading to unruly behaviour?
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Clare Byrne Show on Newstalk. With Aviva Insurance.
Parental parenting, is it creating more emotionally intelligent children or is it leading to unruly behavior? Well, one French psychologist says that positive parenting is leading to spoiled children and it's led to a huge debate in France about how to best parent your child. Mary McCarthy, Irish independent journalist, is with me now. This has really developed into quite the row in France, hasn't it, Mary?
It has, and parents do talk about it. I actually live in Belgium, but there's a lot of French parents Obviously, there's a French part of Belgium, but a lot of French here and there's French schools here.
What is gentle parenting and how is it perceived?
And they do talk about how their French education system, for example, is quite strict, but they like that because they don't, you know, they do see a link between boundaries and being strict with kids. So this psychologist, Caroline Goldman, like she's kind of saying it's all gone, you know, it's all gone to pot, but I don't really think it has. I think that French kids are still quite well behaved, actually.
She says, if children these days want to fart, they fart. If they want to burp, they burp. If they feel like stepping on their neighbour, they step on their neighbour.
What are the criticisms of gentle parenting in France?
And according to Caroline, that's just not the French way, but she feels everything is changing. Isn't that right?
She does. And, you know, there's a lot I don't agree with Caroline. So she says, like, too much encouragement is not good, whereas I don't think you can give too much encouragement. But part of me sort of does agree with her that you know, like you do have to have like strong boundaries, you know, and I think that French parents, they still appreciate that. I mean, she's kind of saying that standards are slipping, but I, like compared to Ireland, I think that it's still, There is quite a difference there still.
Well, the whole culture around children and how they should behave and how they should be treated is just very different to France or traditionally it has been. Like I see in the New York Times about this row and there's a sociologist quoted in there saying when you've had your first baby, the first thing you want is for the first three months to fly by so that you can get back to your old life and the baby can go into daycare. So they see, some French people see, the children as an interruption to their life and their career.
It is quite interesting that, and it is true, like they have, you know, it's shorter kind of maternity time. And in Belgium as well, you only get three months, which actually, you know, to me speaks exactly to that kind of feeling that get them into daycare. But they definitely, like I, or my own personal observation, Clare, would be that women in France they don't lose their identity you know like I'll give you an example there's a book club here that I wanted to join I wasn't actually allowed to join because you need three members to approve you and I didn't get voted in oh but they don't allow there's a story in that Mary oh there is I tell you and they don't allow the discussion of kids and actually when I heard that I was like you know what I don't actually want to join because in Ireland like half the book club is you're yakking about your kids but
So that apparently is not unusual that, you know, they will just they don't want to talk about their kids all the time. And, you know, like I do think that there is differences with they instill independence earlier. Like another example would be the school trips, Claire. So it's normal from age like around six that they go on overnight trips. So my nine year old, for example, he went off on a three night trip there last month. I couldn't believe it, you know, sending them off. The other parents were like, it's grand, you know, like this happens. Some of them even go off for like summer camps, overnight summer camps, like age nine and 10, you know. So they do kind of instill independence earlier. I find they regard 16-year-olds as sort of adults, you know, and they expect you'd be able to, public speaking, like from a very young age,
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:01–0:44
2
What is gentle parenting and how is it perceived?
0:44–1:18
3
What are the criticisms of gentle parenting in France?
1:18–4:17
4
How do French parents view discipline and boundaries?
4:17–9:03
5
What differences exist between parenting styles in France and Ireland?
9:03–11:22