Nikita Hand talks about her book 'Not the Perfect Victim'
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The Clare Byrne Show on Newstalk. With Aviva Insurance.
Nikita Hand is the woman whose life was thrown into the spotlight when she sued Conor McGregor in the High Court for rape. Nikita won that case. The jury found that McGregor had assaulted and raped her. Before we get into this interview, it's worth warning that we're going to discuss sexual abuse, mental health struggles, and there is some strong language too. Nikita came in to talk about her new book, Not the Perfect Victim, and I started by asking her how it felt to finally be able to talk about what happened to her.
Yeah, it feels good because obviously for years I had to remain silent and everybody else was speaking about my story and I couldn't like, so it was great to kind of, you know, write my own book and tell my truth in my own words. So it's good.
But then you put yourself in a different space, don't you, in doing that? You know, you're very much to the forefront now in talking about the book and about the experience. So that's another, I would imagine, element of this for you. Is that difficult for you at all?
Yeah, like obviously writing the book, like it brought a lot of highs and lows, you know, but I did find it really, really healing. And I did find it helped me a lot. It is very raw, I know, at moments in the book, but I did just really want to tell the truth on everything. Tell
me more about that decision to write the book. Like, why did you feel that that was the best way to get the story out there? Or why did you feel that you needed to do it?
I felt like I needed to do it because like obviously so many people were again speaking about my story and I never got to share
that. You brought your baby Alba with you today she's four months old
yeah got
to have a little look at her outside she's a gorgeous little thing tell me a bit about your life now.
Yeah, well, obviously, I'm a busy mom now. I have a 15 year old and I have a four month old. And I'm loving every moment, obviously, of being a mom. And like Alba is a great distraction. After what happened, like obviously going through the trial appeals and obviously writing the book, I was pregnant on Alba. And just what I've been through in the past couple of years and just having Alba and Freya in my life just, you know, just keeps me going.
Does it feel a little bit like a new start?
Yeah absolutely it does yeah like obviously we had to move house and we're living in an apartment now we're renting an apartment and you know I just completely started a new life for myself and you know I'm not saying like my life is perfect I do still have panic attacks I still live with PTSD but having my two girls and an amazing partner keeps me going and keeps me happy you know. Okay
well listen we'll touch on that a little bit more later on but I do want to go back now. Yeah. to 2018. And I just would like to know who you were in 2018. Who was Nikita Hand before any of this happened?
Yeah, I was just like a really bubbly, outgoing girl. Like I was a hairdresser and I was working in a grey salon. Like it was my dream job. I drove my car. I bought a house. I had my partner. I was a mom. And I was just a really outgoing, loved life person. Yeah.
And you loved your job as well. Yeah,
I loved my job. I
got that from the book that you were a born hairdresser. It was really all you ever wanted to do, wasn't
it? Yeah, yeah. From a young age, I always wanted to do hair. I was doing hair from the age of 14 and right up until the assault, you know, so it was really a dream job of mine. What
was your thing in hairdressing?
Color. I was a colorist.
How did Nikita feel about finally speaking publicly about her assault?
Always one or the other, isn't it? Color or cutting.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–3:53
2
How did Nikita feel about finally speaking publicly about her assault?
3:53–6:59
3
Why did Nikita decide to write *Not the Perfect Victim* and share her story?
6:59–12:18
4
What was Nikita’s life like before the assault and how did she describe herself?
12:18–15:53
5
How did the night with Conor McGregor unfold and what led to the assault?
15:53–35:21