140 | Why Talking About Your Value Isn't Bragging
episode
Career Growth for Working Women | Career Advancement, Visibility, Promotion, Raises
14 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why do high‑performing women feel uncomfortable sharing their biggest accomplishments?
Imagine you're sitting in your performance review. Your manager smiles and says, so tell me about the biggest accomplishments this year. You know you've worked hard, you've solved problems, you've led projects, you've made a real difference. But suddenly... You can't think of a single thing to say without feeling like you're bragging. If that sounds familiar, today's episode is for you. Because talking about your value isn't bragging. It's leadership. And today, I'm going to show you the difference.
Welcome to Career Growth for Working Women. If you're feeling tired in a way rest alone won't fix, or successful on paper but unsure what's next, you're not broken. You're not alone. I'm Shannon, a promotion and compensation coach, and this space is about helping women grow their careers with clarity, confidence, and sustainability, not pressure or hustle. Take a breath, settle in, and let's talk about what's really going on beneath the surface. Hello, welcome back to the show. I want you to picture a moment with me. You're sitting in a performance review, or maybe it's an interview. Maybe it's a conversation about a promotion. Your manager looks at you and says, so tell me about your biggest accomplishments this year.
And suddenly your mind goes completely blank. Not because you haven't accomplished anything, quite the opposite. You've probably accomplished more than you realize. The problem is that your brain is trying to answer two questions at the same time. Question number one. What have I accomplished? And question two, how do I say it without sounding full of myself? That second question is where so many incredible women get stuck. I've seen it happen over and over again. A woman will spend the first 20 minutes of a coaching session telling me everything she's been doing. She'll describe leading projects, improving processes, helping teammates, creating efficiencies, solving problems, building relationships across departments.
How does shrinking language (e.g., saying “I helped” instead of “I led”) keep women invisible?
And then I'll ask one simple question. So how would you describe the value you've created? Everything changes. She laughs nervously. looks down, pauses and says something like, I don't know, or I don't really like talking about myself or my personal favorite. I don't want people to think I'm bragging. Let me tell you something. I've never had a woman say that because she actually wanted to brag. Not once. She says it because somewhere along the way, she learned that talking about her accomplishments could make other people uncomfortable. Maybe she grew up believing humility meant staying quiet. Maybe she watched confident women get labeled as difficult. Maybe she learned that being liked was safer than being visible.
Whatever the reason, the result is the same. She starts shrinking her language. Instead of saying, I led that initiative, she says, I helped. Instead of saying, I developed a new process that reduced turnaround time, she says, we made a few changes. Instead of saying, I built a relationship that helped us move the project forward, she says, it all worked out. Have you ever noticed yourself doing that? I think a lot of high-performing women don't minimize their accomplishments because they lack confidence. They minimize them because they've become incredibly skilled at making everyone else feel comfortable. Think about that. How much energy do women spend making sure other people feel included, recognized, supported, valued while quietly stepping out of the spotlight themselves?
It's almost automatic. And here's the part that makes me sad. Many women are so good at sharing credit that they forget to claim any of it for themselves. Now, before we get any further, I want to be really clear. I'm not suggesting you stop recognizing your team. I believe great leaders share credit generously. That's one of the things that makes them great leaders.
What’s the difference between humility and invisibility in leadership communication?
But great leaders also take ownership of the role they played. Those two things can exist at the same time. You can say this was absolutely a team effort. And I was responsible for leading the project.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do high‑performing women feel uncomfortable sharing their biggest accomplishments?
0:00–2:31
2
How does shrinking language (e.g., saying “I helped” instead of “I led”) keep women invisible?
2:31–4:50
3
What’s the difference between humility and invisibility in leadership communication?
4:50–6:51
4
Why is clearly describing your value essential for managers to advocate for you?
6:51–9:07
5
How can you make promotion conversations happen even when you’re not in the room?
9:07–11:38
6
Why does confidence grow from practice rather than waiting for it to appear?
11:38–13:10
7
How do you stop hiding the value you already create and become impossible to overlook?
13:10–13:50
8
What simple weekly exercise can shift your mindset from activity to value creation?
13:50–14:28
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Career Growth for Working Women | Career Advancement, Visibility, Promotion, Raises
148 | Why Promotion Conversations Start Long Before You Ask
147 | Why Success Doesn't Always Mean You're Fulfilled featuring Anouk Brumfield
146 | Why Your Manager Doesn't See Everything You Do
145 | Why Experience Alone No Longer Gets You Noticed featuring Carrie Christiano
144 | Becoming Impossible to Overlook
143 | Why High-Performing Women Become the Default Problem Solver featuring Eric Dingler