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Chapter 1: What insights do Joe and David share about Episode 3 of Celebrity Traitors?
Good morning. Morning. How are you?
Good. How are you?
Yeah, all right.
All right. Celebrity Traders Debrief. We've got 30 minutes.
And your time. Yeah.
Well, you're in the show more now. How does that feel?
I didn't think I was. I sent you a text from Petra. It's not send you. I'll say. I'll tell you. Because she's away. She texted me and she went, are you hiding?
I think you're playing, for me, they're setting you up for a story in a couple of eps.
Do you think?
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Chapter 2: How do Joe and David feel about their roles in the show?
why darts so i watched it because tom daly was washing his body i could i imagine like a wrong thing cut i'm not doing that i'm not i'm not in the shower i'm not meditating honestly i thought you'd be in a pasty oh you got it wrong yeah but it's basically throwing darts is eating a pasty and what would you have done good question um right good question
So you've just got to be doing something in your room.
Yeah.
You don't want to read. You look like a twat.
Not in a... I would look like a twat.
No, that's OK.
You don't want to be in a shack.
You don't want to do work. You don't want to do work. I think I might be podding in the corner. Like this. Party? Podding. Oh. There'd be a mic and you'd see the back of me just throwing darts. OK. Um... I felt sorry for Jonathan last night.
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What are the standout moments from the latest episode?
I hadn't thought about Joan. A lot of people.
Right, I see. That's why they're saying it.
Yeah, because it's kind of like newsworthy, isn't it? It's like, I'll tell you what made me think about it. The other day you said you knew someone who fancied me, right? Yeah, I really do. We haven't spoken about that. Well, I was thinking about that. If you said, I know someone who fancies Charlotte Church, you'd go... All right, well, it was probably millions.
Yeah, if I was doing a pub with Charlotte Church and someone said, I fancy Charlotte, I'd go, I know somebody who fancies you, Charlotte.
Yeah, but it's not that big a surprise.
I'd still bring it up.
But my point being is it's like there's some people you go, I know something fancy, and you go, oh, right. And then there's people you go, I know something fancy.
Well, maybe because you drag around in like an old suit and it's like, oh, don't look at me. A lot of women do want to look at you and they want to kiss you.
Well, they're out of luck.
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Chapter 4: How do Joe and David analyze the dynamics between contestants?
You've missed my point. My point was why people were saying I'm clever is the same as why you brought up someone fancied you.
Well, my point is, like, women fancy you, and, you know, just go, do you know what? Maybe they do, and maybe I need to love myself more. I'm not interested in that.
Anyway, traitors. No, I haven't seen it.
LAUGHTER
It annoys me that you think you're... So you've made it a fact that those two women... OK, maybe they don't.
Chill out, mate.
Chill out. Do you know what? I'm out. I wish I'd brought it up. I really don't. Because I'm now going, oh, right, he wanted to bring up someone fantastic. No, he didn't. Anyway. I didn't even know she did. Anyway, right.
There was a bit where Alan Carr was... Who was it? Was it Claire Balding said...
you would be the most unlikely and i thought if i was in alan's position there i would have just given it away it felt so um do you know what i think including myself in this part of the game i was and i said it on the thing so i can't say it no way i think there was enough people like me going no way
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Chapter 5: What strategies do the contestants use to navigate the game?
The thing is, if you've had it all your life, I was looking in for about a minute after that going, what's in your head? What have you got in your head?
Well, he's brainy. Yes. Some people intimidate me with, like...
going i'm gonna look thick but it doesn't i didn't do that with steven because it was like i feel like he a would never question anyone he's another level as well exactly that's what i mean he's another level but i don't think he'd ever go just because he's really nice he wouldn't go do you not know how many people were name three people who were murdered in hamlet or whatever you know i mean and then that's obviously what my fear is and don't do it now because i'll just google it um
I like Jonathan Ross's intelligence.
Yeah. Oh, I've banged on about that, haven't I?
Like big, deep, wide, but just a dude. Fucking hell, there's your clip.
What does that mean?
Well, he doesn't wear it on his sleeve. Massive poncho. Massive poncho, which is absolutely insane, by the way.
As I said about that. Yeah, you just accept it, don't you? Yeah, and you go, I'm glad you're wearing that. It's more fun now. I've said that again.
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Chapter 6: What are the implications of the contestants' decisions on the game?
But then everyone said she farted and I was like, that's good fun. That's good fun.
Yeah, it was good fun.
She's good fun, isn't she? Lovely.
Yeah, there's a bit where you lot are walking out of the room, you're standing with her and you're touching her arm. Almost like there's a connection there. I was wondering what's been said there. Yeah, she's lovely.
No, we hung out with her. I hung out with her.
Yeah, she's a lovely woman.
Who I hung out with. Like, I said to her, because I'm going to say, when she was on Victoria Wood and stuff, I fancied her. Is that why we're touching her arm? No, absolutely opposite. Not that I don't fancy that. The opposite? No, no, forget that. Still stunning. Still stunning. Genuinely still stunning. Do you know what I loved about Celia in the thing? They cut it really well.
She went, she went, I'm voting for Charlotte. And I was like, she hasn't mentioned her once. And Charlotte went... Like, as in, what the fuck? Yeah.
I like Charlotte. Yeah, I do. She's got a bit of spice about her as well.
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Chapter 7: How do Joe and David react to the show's twists and turns?
Oh, God, for me it was Jonathan. Well, in the room, well, not for everyone, can't speak for everyone, but for me it was all about Tamika and Mark, probably because they were opposite me. So you kind of sit there for however long, looking at the people sort of opposite you more. Weirdly, I was opposite Alan a lot, and I didn't pick up anything.
But anyway, so there was definitely a back and forth with Mark and Tamika. So I had front row suits of that, really.
Right, OK.
But I didn't really feel like Jonathan was in trouble. Really?
Did you watch it last night?
Yeah.
Did it feel like he was? Did I watch it? I don't know.
Well, we're doing a pod about it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't know. Well, we're doing episode three debrief. Oh, yeah. But what was I saying? Oh, yeah. So I didn't think Jonathan was in trouble. Because, well, I was the only one who thought. I felt like, no, Ruth brought him up. But I felt like he wasn't getting as much heat as everyone else.
So when it was, like, tight – well, there was a lot of people that suddenly got voted for, and I was like, oh, this is interesting.
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Chapter 8: What predictions do Joe and David make for future episodes?
Bleak this. No, I'm just kidding.
I've got this theory that this series, they're showing a lot of the turrets from outside, so they listen to Chatterbix, and very quietly they're showing you actually is in the castle, boys.
Each episode, I've said to Petra, she wasn't here for this one, but I'll say the first two episodes, I've gone, they've never shown the turret from the window, have they, Petra? And she hasn't replied both times.
LAUGHTER
Because no one cares.
It's driving me nuts. Do you know what I think? I go, I think it's an actual room, but maybe they've added the circle thing. Don't know.
Well, it's all good fun. Yeah. I didn't think we'd have anything to talk about today, Bob. Oh, my God, yeah. It was great last night.
Oh, I know.
I said to them, this is really working, this series. Yeah, it is, isn't it? The celebs. Can I say something? It's quite important. I thought you were... No, when Jonathan brought you up as a traitor... Oh, in the turret, in the turret. ..saying he's dangerous or whatever... I actually felt, oh no, Joe can't go. Yeah. And me and Naomi were like, oh no.
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