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Chatabix

S15 Ep 844: Toby’s Trousers - Part 2

21 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What recent experiences did the hosts share about crunch crunches?

37.612 - 38.895 David Earl

I had a crunch crunch yesterday.

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39.537 - 39.917 Joe Wilkinson

Nice.

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39.938 - 43.085 David Earl

Who from? As I left my masseur.

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44.829 - 52.768 Joe Wilkinson

I think it's saying mistress. As I left my mistress's house. She was really lovely. Your masseuse was one.

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52.816 - 81.793 Joe Wilkinson

no there's a lady sat outside as i came out and she's and she was really that i thought do you know what if all our chatter biscuits are like that then it's all good i'd run in the trouser sale did you yeah this bloke went um oh crunch crunch and i said he goes and then he used your full name which for some reason he goes i really like you and david earl

81.773 - 107.308 Joe Wilkinson

for some reason the fact you used your full name i think you would you why would you use my full name because he doesn't know me no no no no it wasn't that at all i got the feeling he was like a big fan and i think it was a bit flustered and for some reason he said your full name but it's just quite sweet you went i really like you and i really like david earl oh that's nice um that's nice

107.288 - 112.134 Joe Wilkinson

Yeah, but it's what happened as I was rummaging through trousers.

112.154 - 113.035 David Earl

Did you buy the trousers?

113.636 - 115.758 Joe Wilkinson

I bought a pair of trousers, yeah.

Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on expensive trouser purchases?

119.042 - 138.283 Joe Wilkinson

Whee! Bought two pairs actually. 85 quid. Two pairs I bought. Two pairs for 100 quid. Two pairs for 140 pounds. Is that all right? Is that acceptable in your world? Have I spent enough? God, it fucking does. It's a lot of money, though. But he crunched me as I was looking at trousers.

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139.146 - 140.511 David Earl

Oh, yeah. God.

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141.213 - 142.257 Joe Wilkinson

But also, it's like...

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Chapter 3: Who are the new presenters of the Pottery Throw Down?

143.384 - 147.449 David Earl

Because he knows what you're thinking. He knows you're uncomfortable.

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147.649 - 161.947 Joe Wilkinson

Well, he probably does if he's listened to this, but it's just a weird thing. It's just like doing that with trousers. Crunch, crunch. Oh, thank you. I really like you and I really like David Earl. Thank you. Oh, that's nice. He was very nice.

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161.967 - 171.94 David Earl

He lives in London, probably. Well, people in London are nice. It's just the whole vibe of it. Well, done well, though.

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171.92 - 198.501 David Earl

so if you've got any i don't know what not life hacks because honestly that's like oh god no but like i don't you i don't i don't want you to poo poo this because the way the trouser thing made me feel yesterday yeah it's like i'm 51 and i didn't know that all right if you if someone said did you know i'm just not thinking but a seagull's wingspan is the same as you yours when you put your arms out

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Chapter 4: How does drinking too much coffee affect the hosts?

198.481 - 219.358 Joe Wilkinson

do you know what how have I got to this age without knowing that that's what I think I thought yeah and I was just like god this is so would that be these are just facts no but like I don't know quirky facts but that the trouser thing hopefully people are going that's useful

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219.608 - 227.157 Joe Wilkinson

Yeah, it's useful, but also, like, I've had to go a million times, not a million times, a hundred times, put trousers on in a thing.

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228.579 - 228.879 David Earl

Yeah.

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228.899 - 232.624 Joe Wilkinson

Fucking hell. And there you go. All I need to know is how long the legs are.

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233.465 - 233.725 David Earl

Yeah.

234.947 - 237.43 Joe Wilkinson

Good, isn't it? Anyway, forget it. Forget it.

238.591 - 243.757 David Earl

What are you going to do now until three? Fucking, I'm so glad I'm not.

243.777 - 244.838 Joe Wilkinson

I'm going to go for a run.

245.78 - 247.221 David Earl

Oh, okay. How long?

Chapter 5: What memories do the hosts have from their 48-hour Nintendo speed benders?

248.142 - 248.603 Joe Wilkinson

An hour.

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250.557 - 250.858 David Earl

Yeah.

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252.565 - 253.911 Joe Wilkinson

So that'd be 12.

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255.136 - 259.875 David Earl

That's all right. Something to eat. Go over your lines. Yeah. Bish bash bosh. You're there.

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260.21 - 285.424 Joe Wilkinson

yeah there's that thing isn't it because you do lines you can't really it's all dominant you've got lines oh how many have you got how many have you got to learn it's not too bad today actually not too bad have you had any chunks that have been huge uh any monologues not on the i on this other thing i did there were some massive bits in it really yeah like give us a little idea whole page nearly a whole page model

286.012 - 289.835 David Earl

what's the situation? Are you talking to people? As in like a group or?

289.975 - 292.017 Joe Wilkinson

Yeah. Oh my.

Chapter 6: What was the outcome of David's short-lived business studies course?

292.177 - 315.597 Joe Wilkinson

You know when you look at the page and you go, oh, it's like a page and a little section of you talking. Yeah. Honestly, I still think back of the not going out one. That was just ridiculous. Like the nerves, I mean, not the amount, but it was like, you've got to get it right. You've got like one or two takes because it's in front of a live audience. Yeah. Oh,

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316.808 - 321.412 David Earl

Actually, I need to say something. What? Celebrity pottery throwdown.

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322.453 - 322.653 Joe Wilkinson

Yeah.

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323.214 - 326.476 David Earl

New presenter. Who? New celebrity guests.

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Chapter 7: How does Joe's bongo relate to their conversation?

326.496 - 327.037 Joe Wilkinson

Who?

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327.477 - 331.341 David Earl

And I don't get a fucking sniff.

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332.422 - 332.922 Joe Wilkinson

It's not you.

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333.523 - 334.744 David Earl

You're fucking right, it's not me.

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334.824 - 361.309 Joe Wilkinson

Well, yeah, but you said quite clearly what I said. I wouldn't mind the conversation. I said to you, would you, if they offered it to you, would you say no? No. No. I wouldn't mind the conversation. Well, the conversation has been had. If they've listened and paused, they've gone, no, no. I wouldn't mind the conversation. Well, do you want them to waste their time?

361.569 - 364.553 David Earl

I want them to email me and go, David, heard you on the pod.

Chapter 8: What quiz do the hosts play to wrap up the episode?

364.613 - 369.32 David Earl

Thanks so much for everything you do. We heard you say you wouldn't. Thanks for doing a double bubble.

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370.101 - 373.786 Joe Wilkinson

So you want to say, although you've said quite clearly.

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374.126 - 378.993 David Earl

You just want to make sure you definitely don't want to be involved in the show. Doesn't take long.

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379.013 - 385.662 Joe Wilkinson

Especially after the, what do you call it? What do you call it when you practice runs of it? We did some practice runs.

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385.642 - 422.17 David Earl

yeah and you capitulate my worry is someone on production doesn't like me singular well at least one person some some shouldn't you say some people don't like me my worry someone go i really don't like that guy fuck it does my nothing Yeah, I mean, we're not taking it seriously, but just don't email and just don't do anything. I mean, how much more can you do to put your foot in the door?

423.191 - 424.033 David Earl

Just want to be asked.

425.034 - 426.837 Joe Wilkinson

Well, yeah, so you can say no again.

427.728 - 436.963 David Earl

Every time, no. Who's the new host then? Oh, here we go. I'm going to say it and you'll go, oh, that's such a good choice. Oh, God, that's such a good choice. Lisa Tarbuck.

437.263 - 467.158 Joe Wilkinson

I do love Lisa Tarbuck. You love Lisa Tarbuck. Yeah, I do. Your sister loves Lisa Tarbuck. Yeah, she's perfect. Yeah, I know she's perfect. But if it was down to me as a celebrity guest, what about if it was down to the two of you? And I'd go, I'd have to say Lisa Tarbuck. Why? Why would you? I think she's brilliant. Well, I'm brilliant. But you've got a proven track record of being brilliant.

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