Chapter 1: What recent experiences did the hosts share about crunch crunches?
I had a crunch crunch yesterday.
Nice.
Who from? As I left my masseur.
I think it's saying mistress. As I left my mistress's house. She was really lovely. Your masseuse was one.
no there's a lady sat outside as i came out and she's and she was really that i thought do you know what if all our chatter biscuits are like that then it's all good i'd run in the trouser sale did you yeah this bloke went um oh crunch crunch and i said he goes and then he used your full name which for some reason he goes i really like you and david earl
for some reason the fact you used your full name i think you would you why would you use my full name because he doesn't know me no no no no it wasn't that at all i got the feeling he was like a big fan and i think it was a bit flustered and for some reason he said your full name but it's just quite sweet you went i really like you and i really like david earl oh that's nice um that's nice
Yeah, but it's what happened as I was rummaging through trousers.
Did you buy the trousers?
I bought a pair of trousers, yeah.
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Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on expensive trouser purchases?
Whee! Bought two pairs actually. 85 quid. Two pairs I bought. Two pairs for 100 quid. Two pairs for 140 pounds. Is that all right? Is that acceptable in your world? Have I spent enough? God, it fucking does. It's a lot of money, though. But he crunched me as I was looking at trousers.
Oh, yeah. God.
But also, it's like...
Chapter 3: Who are the new presenters of the Pottery Throw Down?
Because he knows what you're thinking. He knows you're uncomfortable.
Well, he probably does if he's listened to this, but it's just a weird thing. It's just like doing that with trousers. Crunch, crunch. Oh, thank you. I really like you and I really like David Earl. Thank you. Oh, that's nice. He was very nice.
He lives in London, probably. Well, people in London are nice. It's just the whole vibe of it. Well, done well, though.
so if you've got any i don't know what not life hacks because honestly that's like oh god no but like i don't you i don't i don't want you to poo poo this because the way the trouser thing made me feel yesterday yeah it's like i'm 51 and i didn't know that all right if you if someone said did you know i'm just not thinking but a seagull's wingspan is the same as you yours when you put your arms out
Chapter 4: How does drinking too much coffee affect the hosts?
do you know what how have I got to this age without knowing that that's what I think I thought yeah and I was just like god this is so would that be these are just facts no but like I don't know quirky facts but that the trouser thing hopefully people are going that's useful
Yeah, it's useful, but also, like, I've had to go a million times, not a million times, a hundred times, put trousers on in a thing.
Yeah.
Fucking hell. And there you go. All I need to know is how long the legs are.
Yeah.
Good, isn't it? Anyway, forget it. Forget it.
What are you going to do now until three? Fucking, I'm so glad I'm not.
I'm going to go for a run.
Oh, okay. How long?
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Chapter 5: What memories do the hosts have from their 48-hour Nintendo speed benders?
An hour.
Yeah.
So that'd be 12.
That's all right. Something to eat. Go over your lines. Yeah. Bish bash bosh. You're there.
yeah there's that thing isn't it because you do lines you can't really it's all dominant you've got lines oh how many have you got how many have you got to learn it's not too bad today actually not too bad have you had any chunks that have been huge uh any monologues not on the i on this other thing i did there were some massive bits in it really yeah like give us a little idea whole page nearly a whole page model
what's the situation? Are you talking to people? As in like a group or?
Yeah. Oh my.
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Chapter 6: What was the outcome of David's short-lived business studies course?
You know when you look at the page and you go, oh, it's like a page and a little section of you talking. Yeah. Honestly, I still think back of the not going out one. That was just ridiculous. Like the nerves, I mean, not the amount, but it was like, you've got to get it right. You've got like one or two takes because it's in front of a live audience. Yeah. Oh,
Actually, I need to say something. What? Celebrity pottery throwdown.
Yeah.
New presenter. Who? New celebrity guests.
Chapter 7: How does Joe's bongo relate to their conversation?
Who?
And I don't get a fucking sniff.
It's not you.
You're fucking right, it's not me.
Well, yeah, but you said quite clearly what I said. I wouldn't mind the conversation. I said to you, would you, if they offered it to you, would you say no? No. No. I wouldn't mind the conversation. Well, the conversation has been had. If they've listened and paused, they've gone, no, no. I wouldn't mind the conversation. Well, do you want them to waste their time?
I want them to email me and go, David, heard you on the pod.
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Chapter 8: What quiz do the hosts play to wrap up the episode?
Thanks so much for everything you do. We heard you say you wouldn't. Thanks for doing a double bubble.
So you want to say, although you've said quite clearly.
You just want to make sure you definitely don't want to be involved in the show. Doesn't take long.
Especially after the, what do you call it? What do you call it when you practice runs of it? We did some practice runs.
yeah and you capitulate my worry is someone on production doesn't like me singular well at least one person some some shouldn't you say some people don't like me my worry someone go i really don't like that guy fuck it does my nothing Yeah, I mean, we're not taking it seriously, but just don't email and just don't do anything. I mean, how much more can you do to put your foot in the door?
Just want to be asked.
Well, yeah, so you can say no again.
Every time, no. Who's the new host then? Oh, here we go. I'm going to say it and you'll go, oh, that's such a good choice. Oh, God, that's such a good choice. Lisa Tarbuck.
I do love Lisa Tarbuck. You love Lisa Tarbuck. Yeah, I do. Your sister loves Lisa Tarbuck. Yeah, she's perfect. Yeah, I know she's perfect. But if it was down to me as a celebrity guest, what about if it was down to the two of you? And I'd go, I'd have to say Lisa Tarbuck. Why? Why would you? I think she's brilliant. Well, I'm brilliant. But you've got a proven track record of being brilliant.
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