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Chapter 1: What nostalgic memories does David share about gardening in Handcross?
Hi. Morning. How are you? Yeah, a bit tired as it goes. Oh, same. Are you? Yeah, I was like, fuck, what is this?
What? What is this? What are we talking about? Literally, it's like, fucking hell. I don't know why, but the pods feel closer together.
What do you mean?
Like, it doesn't feel like it was a day ago. I feel like it was like 15 minutes ago. and we also thought about doing that 24 hour one I can't believe we haven't got more credit for what we've done for the pod world oh yeah find us another pod that's done 800 perhaps Rogan well that's yeah okay well that is massive yeah and gets loads people want to be on it all the time apparently yeah anyway
Do you think you have to enter podcasts? You know that Golden Lobes we talked about? You have to enter them, don't you?
Yeah.
Yeah. You have to put your pod forward. Yeah. To be considered for a Golden Lobe.
Golden Lobe. This is punky, isn't it?
Talking about... Golden lobes.
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Chapter 2: What awkward moments do David and Joe experience on set as actors?
It's quite a lot, the energy it would take to... Can't do it.
Can I hear your blazer boy?
Do you know what? No. Way too early. I had a real moment of going 20 to 8. I'm not doing a posh voice. If we'd done this at half nine, I might have had to.
Yeah.
Do you know what I feel like? I feel like I've got up early for a plane. Okay, I've got... Right. It's not that early. It's 20 to 8. I know, but the energy I've got. I feel like I'm getting a flight to Dublin. I don't know why. Yeah.
Anyway. Well, I got up and I saw someone getting ready to go to work. Gave you a little boost, as in you're not doing... Well, it just made me go, I can't believe I'm not going down this route again. Well, I know. Maybe I need it. Oh, really? Yeah.
Well, yeah. So we're podding for 44 minutes today. Yeah. That's not tough, is it? Exactly.
But I just thought, anyway, let's find the funny.
Well, we can talk about find the funny, the TV show. um well can i ask one thing yeah are we retiring one in a million oh well a lot of people on patreon said they sort of i can't remember their reasons but they said no and it's not actually that similar oh okay yeah so what you want to do one of those no i was just thinking about it i was like oh
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Chapter 3: How do David and Joe feel about being offered tea on set?
Yeah, never laughs. He must do. It's so rare.
Well, I'm just thinking of someone I know who laughs all the time and I really look forward to seeing them. Yeah, exactly. That's how people feel about you in the morning. Oh, I hope so. Who laughs all the time? Well, can we bleep the person's name? Because I don't want to be like someone... When she comes round, she laughs loads and I feel terrific.
Yeah. I mean, she might be like, as you say, might just be panic and nerves.
Well, hopefully it's just not. Exactly. Well, that's how we feel about you. We? We? Do you like it? Because you don't piss out a lot. I like you giggling.
No, you don't. Yeah, I do. I never even... Fucking hell, if I had a problem with it, I've done fucking 800 hours of it. Well, it's been brought up a lot. Oh, five times in five years.
Who cares? Five times. And I'm always positive.
I'm like, people love your laugh, love your giggle.
This is fucking new to me, David, so this is nonsense.
All right. Oh, I won't, but I saw some comments on Instagram last week. Someone said, oh, I love Joe's laugh.
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Chapter 4: What humorous anecdotes arise from David's experiences with gardening?
Oh, right. Okay. Um, you know, we've got to do that.
I'm doing a pod. Yeah. When you finish, you let me know. Cause we really need to. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
No, give me the background. So you're in Handcross?
I'm in Handcross, heading towards Horsham, and I just saw this sign in the Laurel hedge. Oh, my God. And I'd completely forgotten about this client. Now, this client... God, sounds like there's a bad story. Was a regular. Was a regular. Was a regular.
yeah well they're all well yeah but i didn't know what to say but i i'd had it i had he i had him for three or four years so this is like every wednesday bang you do two hours how much did he pay you 30 quid 15 quid an hour
bosh every wednesday cashing out yeah i mean i might have driven from herspear point to do that so that's a five a gun that's a point i hadn't crossed is it therefore well maybe i'm ramping up for the pod stupid ramp But I guess why I got excited, why I wanted to record it, is because I'd completely forgotten about this client. And this was like a regular.
I suddenly thought, this is so boring for me.
Well, do you know what I was thinking? I wonder if people have saved it. I might save this for when I'm more awake.
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Chapter 5: What insights do they share about podcasting and award competitions?
Yeah, like... Okay, so once you've raked, we're going to do the roses here. All you have to do is prune these or whatever.
Yeah, I didn't even think about it. Yeah, I should have, yeah.
Shadowed someone for six months. Yeah, then my wings would have... Yeah, and you go, okay, so now we've raked, what do we do? They don't just say rake until you've run out of time.
Honestly, I did so much of that raking.
I used to have... When I worked in a shop and stuff, there was loads of stuff I didn't... Or behind a bar, there was loads of stuff I didn't know and lived in fear of it happening.
Or being asked to do it.
Yeah, like someone paying by American Express or something. Wow. I'd be like...
but I was on my own you know what I mean like sitting there going looking back I'd have just gone Mavis how did I do on my express yeah but I sat there going Mavis there's a few Mavises in the pub in a shop I used to work in a shop oh right yeah and like a bar you know there'd be like loads of drinks up there I don't know what any of those are I still don't someone ask can I get a Cointreau and go oh fucking hell what's that
Well, I think it took balls for you to actually do it because that fear that you've had stopped me from getting bar jobs. Those bottles of drinks. You used to put the fear of God in me.
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Chapter 6: How do David and Joe discuss the dynamics of fame and recognition?
Obviously back in the day, you know, the newspapers had a little bit of weight about them. Were you tinkering with ideas as you were raking? Well, I just remember thinking goodbye. Goodbye to this job and everything else. And I suppose it was in a way, but that absolutely blew my mind. Fucking hell, someone's snipped out my outline. Stuffed it next to our moment.
Yeah, it was stuffed. There's about nine of us.
But it was an amazing feeling. Anyway, it's just one of those feelings. Have you ever had a feeling right in? If you have had a feeling where you go, I think that might be life-changing. No, it wasn't life-changing, nothing. Yeah, that is quite... Yeah, just a dude in Hank Cross, and this guy sold seaweed or something as a... Well, I'm married.
No.
It's sold like algae. It's like this guy who I work for, like a supplement. Oh, right. I don't think he liked me. I think he could see through my raking.
Fucking hell, this is twisty, this bit. I thought we were talking about the garden. A twisty puff. A twisty puff through the anecdote forest. I was talking about Al Murray. I've got you and Al Murray in my head, and then you go, I think he sold seaweed. Al Murray sold seaweed. Just imagine Al Murray selling seaweed and then he sees himself on the front of the car.
It's like algae or something.
Fucking hell, he's got it.
He had pots and pots of it in his flat. What are you talking about? Who? The guy who employed me to rake his drive. I thought he had a massive house. He didn't have a flat. No, it's like a country house that was into ten flats. Right. Well, I didn't know that. Well, no, it says it if you listen closely to the audio.
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Chapter 7: What reflections do David and Joe have about their careers and personal growth?
So, like, I have, like... My brother's like, can't get his head around it anyway. Right. I couldn't get my head around it either. And then it was the end of the day, and he was going off, and I was waving him off. And then there was a car to drive me home, which I got in, and he came back to say something to me. Because I hadn't got in the car yet. I said, I don't really want to see him.
I don't want him to see me getting in the car. And then he came back as I was getting in the car. And he went, he went, is this car for you? And I went, yeah. And he went, all right. I say, you go to mum's on Saturday. And I was taking a fucking car. And I was like. Yeah, he goes, what time are you getting there? I remember it so clearly. I'm sat feeling like nude.
I just sat there like that, looking after my brother like that, like leaning into this car. And he's like, what time are you getting over there? I don't know, about half twelve. All right. And then he said, did you wait to get in here? So I wouldn't see. Yeah. And I went, yeah. And he went, so clearly, he sort of laughed, but we sort of released some of the tension for me a bit.
Yeah.
But I just had, I remember it so clearly because I felt so, I don't know, like, but then sometimes I get, I hate it when I get in the car like it's normal. You know when you get to work, you go, your car's here. Thanks. And they get in and they're like, don't react like that's normal. Oh, fucking hell. So right. Do you know what? James Gill sent me a message yesterday.
We text about football pods. And he said one of the pods was talking about cabs that are uncomfortable and how unrelatable the pod was. and we thought up bringing tea having been bringing tea to us what do you think when they go when you finish you know when you finish the filming last week and there was a car to take you somewhere how do you feel about that
Well, that's the worrying thing, just saying I didn't give it a second thought.
Get this precious cargo into a warm hotel that he hasn't paid for. Make sure he's watered, fed and ready to perform the next day. By the way, you started it. Oh, God. Yeah. You having a mini meltdown?
No, I'm just trying to work out what I feel. Just trying to work out what I feel.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with thoughts on friendship and support?
Do they? I don't know if they do, do they?
Well, I think, you know, if your exec happens to be, I don't know. That's the worst fucking job.
Execing. Hovering in the background. Jesus. Doing fuck all.
Don't you want to be an exec?
I'd love to be an exec. I'm well played.
I don't know how you got there. You walked into it.
That's a fantastic role.
I think that's the best job.
Yeah.
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