Richard Diamond, Private Detective: Private Eye Test 03/19/1950

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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio 29 min 6 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 months ago
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What is the introduction to Richard Diamond, Private Detective?

Choice Classic Radio Host 0:00
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com.
Choice Classic Radio
Dick Powell 0:35
The National Broadcasting Company presents Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, private detective.
Larry Thor 0:48
All right, Seamus, hand it over. Let's have it. Have what? I ain't got time to play games. This time you gotta believe me. This time I'm unhappy, so hand it over. You're not making it very easy. I'm gonna make it a lot tougher. How much tougher can things get? You'd be surprised. I've waited a long time for this. Well, I guess everything comes to he who waits. You won't have to wait anymore. You know something? I don't mind killing you at all.
Dick Powell 1:14
Here's another exciting half hour with Richard Diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell.

What is the significance of the special delivery letter for Richard Diamond?

The End
Larry Thor 1:31
Diamond Detective Agency, homicide made easy. With us, it's the corpse that counts.
Oh, I just don't think I'll ever get used to it.
Larry Thor 1:39
Hi, Helen.
Hi.
Larry Thor 1:41
What are you doing? Right now, nothing. But I've been considering a few push-ups or something just to keep my heart going. I've been sitting behind this desk so long, my blood doesn't circulate anymore. It just lies around and puddles.
Herb Waterfield 1:54
Oh, Rick. Morning, Mr. Diamond.
Larry Thor 1:55
Oh, hold it a second, honey. Morning, Phil. Who's Phil? The postman.
Sergeant Otis 1:58
Oh. Special delivery for you. Return receipt on it. Sign right here.
Larry Thor 2:01
Sure. Hmm. Okay, there you are, Phil.
Sergeant Otis 2:04
Okay.
Dick Powell 2:05
See you later, Mr. Diamond.
Larry Thor 2:06
Yeah.
Rick?
Larry Thor 2:07
Yeah, yes, dear?
Well, what is it? Hmm? What does the postman want?
Larry Thor 2:11
Well, he wanted to give me a letter. Oh? Special delivery. Hmm? From the city hall.
Oh, must be important.
Larry Thor 2:18
What does it say? Oh, let's see.

What test must Richard Diamond take to keep his detective license?

Larry Thor 2:19
It says, uh, Mr. Richard Diamond, uh, address, so on and so forth. Oh, here. Thank you. Dear sir, you are hereby notified that under the laws of this state, you can be called... Oh, for Pete's sake.
Well, what's the matter? Of all the rotten... Oh, stop making noises and tell me what's wrong.
Larry Thor 2:38
You know what this stupid letter is about?
I've been trying to find out.
Larry Thor 2:42
I, honey, have got to report to the police commission and get examined.
Oh.
Larry Thor 2:48
Dear, in this state, the commission can call in any private detective and give him a test to find out whether or not he can still qualify to keep on operating.
You mean they give you a test like in school?
Larry Thor 2:57
You're darn right. Oh. Oh, and it says here I've got to appear today.
Well, what if you don't?
Larry Thor 3:02
Well, I lose the bond I had to post when I took out my license.
Oh, Rick, you better get right down there.
Larry Thor 3:06
Oh. Oh, and here's something else that's real cute. Hmm? Guess where I have to take the test.
Walt's Precinct.
Larry Thor 3:13
Has to be. Yeah. Aren't they the little devils?
Ha, ha, ha.
Larry Thor 3:16
Report to Lieutenant Walter Levinson, 5th Precinct, Homicide.
What time, Rick?
Larry Thor 3:20
Time? Ten minutes ago.
Oh, bye, Rick.
Larry Thor 3:28
It was ten after eleven when I hung up on Helen. It was twelve after when I hit the street. The 5th Precinct was a good ten blocks away and I was bounding into the squad room by 11.18. Needless to say, it put a horrible strain on several unused ligaments. Four or five boys in my charming profession were there ahead of me.
Pat Romero 3:46
Well, boys, it looks like the commission's serious this time. When they start dragging in their pets, namely one Richard Diamond, you can bet their heads are going to start rolling.
Larry Thor 3:58
What if their heads do start rolling, Romero?

What happens when Richard Diamond arrives at the police precinct?

Larry Thor 4:00
You got a spare.
Pat Romero 4:01
Hey, Seamus, you're late.
Larry Thor 4:04
Well, sorry to notice. Do you need a shave or have you been sleeping with your head on a porcupine?
Sergeant Otis 4:08
I ain't got no time for your crummy jokes, Diamond. Take a seat and wait your turn. Thank you, Otis. By the by, you're the last on the list.
Pat Romero 4:18
That figured. Yeah, take a seat, Diamond. Last on the list, huh? Looks like you don't swing as much weight as you thought you did.
Larry Thor 4:28
At least now I can understand the reason for this examination.
Pat Romero 4:31
Oh, you can, huh?
Larry Thor 4:33
Sure. Guys like you, Romero, would make it necessary to clean up any organization.
Pat Romero 4:38
I take it you don't think I'm a credit to the profession, huh, Diamond?
Larry Thor 4:42
Take it any way you like, but stick with the first guess.

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