Richard Diamond, Private Detective: The Man Who Hated Women 04/12/1950

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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio 29 min 5 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Choice Classic Radio Host 0:00
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com.
Music
Dick Powell 0:36
National Broadcasting Company presents Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, Private Detective.
Ed Cody 0:56
Hey, Ed. Huh? Stop the car a second, will you? What for? I thought I saw something lying back there by the road. So what? It's probably a dead dog. No, no, hold it. It's too big to be a dog. Oh, for Pete's sake. Uh, where is it? It's, uh, right over there. Oh, yeah. Come on. Holy cow. Yeah. She dead? Oh. Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick. Me too. Let's go call the cops.
Dick Powell 1:34
Here's another exciting half hour with Richard Diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell.
Richard Diamond 1:54
Diamond Detective Agency, if there's a corpse in your cellar and your nerves are a wreck, owe Rick to the rescue if you write him a check.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:03
I don't know what I'm going to do with you.
Richard Diamond 2:05
Can I make a suggestion?
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:06
Please do.
Richard Diamond 2:07
Feed me regularly, take me for walks, and be sure that you let me out nights.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:11
Some suggestion. You do that for a cat.
Richard Diamond 2:14
Hi, Helen.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:15
Hi. How are you?
Richard Diamond 2:17
Oh, I don't know. I think I'm a nervous wreck.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:19
What from?
Richard Diamond 2:20
You remember when you said I ought to take up something to keep me busy in the office?
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:23
Yes.
Richard Diamond 2:24
You remember you mentioned knitting?
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:25
Oh, no.
Richard Diamond 2:27
Oh, yes. I've dropped more stitches than a cross-eyed surgeon.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:32
I was only fooling.
Richard Diamond 2:34
Well, don't laugh. I was making Frances a pair of screaming argyles.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:38
Keep with it, strong heart. You'll win out.
Richard Diamond 2:40
Yeah, you're darn right I will. Oh, what I said. Darn. Get it? Ellen, are you still there?
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:49
Yes, Rick.

What is the opening scene and who discovers the body beside the road?

Richard Diamond 2:50
Wasn't funny?
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:51
No, Rick.
Richard Diamond 2:52
Okay, come on over. Let's snack.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:54
Yes, Rick.
Richard Diamond 2:55
Shame on you.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:56
Yes, Rick.
Richard Diamond 2:56
I'll see you about eight.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:58
Oh.
Richard Diamond 2:58
You don't sound very happy.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 2:59
That's such a
Richard Diamond 3:01
Give you time to make plans. Bye.
Helen / Frances (female friend/secretary) - Unknown actress 3:04
Bye.
Richard Diamond 3:06
Hmm. Now, let's see. I've got to take out one, two, three, five rolls. Oh. Yeah, what is it? Rick? Oh, how are you, Walt? Very unhappy. You should see me. I've got to take out five whole rows just to pick up one lousy stitch. What? Oh, forget it. What are you unhappy about? I'll tell you about it when you get down here. Well, the fifth precinct's 20 blocks. Can't you give it to me over the pipe? I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important, and I'd rather not say anything over the phone. Okay, okay. Stop making like life-facing Portia. I'll be down as soon as I finish this heel. Heel? Yeah. If you must know, I've taken up knitting. Coming from you, I am unmoved. I don't care if you're building Sergeant Otis or Furline Money Belt.
Richard Diamond 3:47
Get down here as fast as you can. All right, Walt. But you'll be sorry when it starts getting cold again. And I won't knit your sweater to cover your rural blueberry. Oh, now you get over here. Bye, Walt. Getting Walt's goat was a sport with me... Whether he'd admit it or not, he got a kick out of it, too. Sometimes I wouldn't stay on the rib as long as I usually do, but that was only because Walt always starts sounding just a little bit worried. Then I know it's time to lay off and get serious. Now, don't misunderstand me. I never lay off entirely. And I never get completely serious. Those are two habits that don't help find the solution any quicker. They just fit you with a mess of ulcers and you still end up too worried and too serious.
Richard Diamond 4:33
I closed my office and headed for Walsh Precinct. When I walked in, I spotted Sergeant Otis leaning back in his chair with his number 12s resting on the desk. Oh, hello, Sergeant Otis. Well, how's the big private detective today?

How is Richard Diamond introduced and what is his office banter about knitting?

Richard Diamond 4:47
Just fine, Otis. How's the flash of the fifth precinct? Just fine, Diamond.
Unknown (police lieutenant/Sergeant Otis voice occasionally) 4:52
How's the big private detective today? You said that. I did?
Richard Diamond 4:56
Yeah. Is the lieutenant busy? Uh, no, but he's happy. Why spoil it? Otis, when are you going to shine your buttons?
Unknown (police lieutenant/Sergeant Otis voice occasionally) 5:03
What buttons?
Richard Diamond 5:05
Oh, excuse me. Gravy stains. Oh! Hiya, Walt. Rick, why don't you leave that poor guy alone? After you leave, he comes running in and cries all over my desk. Otis! He wouldn't shed a tear if he was standing in an onion warehouse watching his grandmother set fire to herself. Yeah? Well, give him a rest for a while. I got a big problem I want to talk to you about.

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