David Spade | Club Random with Bill Maher

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Club Random with Bill Maher 1h 11m 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed 23 days ago
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How do Bill Maher and David Spade define a “woman who likes your sense of humor”?

Bill Maher 0:01
I always want to see you more, but you're so rare. You make yourself so rare. I'm so important, yeah. You're so rare. What are you doing that you have to be so rare? You never come out with, like, all those comics.
David Spade 0:13
You never do. You know what's funny is... Well, not with me. Two things. I come by this frickin' street when I used to live up here for 15 years. So I know this street back and forth. And so I didn't know you lived here. Other than that, that's a great story. We use that as a clip. And... That's what I mean. And when I saw you in Hawaii, people don't know, to the people at home, you do a show in Hawaii and
Bill Maher 0:42
then... No, last year, this was the last one. The last one, right. Hold the plug. You did the first year of comics on board. It was so great. You and Jeff Ross. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was 2014, I think. Is that
David Spade 0:56
when it was? Oh, yeah, it was fucking fun. Can you believe... It was really fun, because you know, your friend group is the coolest guys. Woody's funny, great. Sean Penn, Eddie Vedder,
Bill Maher 1:09
that trip. And the crew I take. I mean, it was 12 years I did it. It was great. And I got to spend time with people like you and Jeff. Like, I never would, because I don't know. What are you doing? Why are you hiding? Why are you shy? You know what it is, you're with girls. I'm so coquettish. How did you get to be, you're like the Pete Davidson of your generation. You're right. You kind of are. Like the guy, everybody goes, wow, how did he get all those girls? It's always how. It's so horrible. It always starts with how.
David Spade 1:46
No one can figure out the
Bill Maher 1:48
fucking
David Spade 1:48
Rubik's Cube. No,
Bill Maher 1:49
it doesn't always start with how. Sometimes it starts with why.
David Spade 1:53
I remember one of them said I had a big wang in some interview. And people are like, oh. And I go, you know she's just saying this because people are baffled. So she has to make up something. Like, oh. But what is it? It's big. And
Bill Maher 2:07
they're like, mm, bah. Stand outside yourself. Yeah. And what would you say it is? Like, if you have to actually answer that. OK, push in. Um.
David Spade 2:22
I'm going to do a long speech. The thing about me that's great. Push in. Push in. So I... Well... You know, if you can't get them on the great looks department, which drives me crazy because I would rather be better looking if I could. But I think if not, you know, we're all comics. I don't think it would help any of us to be like stunning. I'm not including you in that. But you know what I mean? Like we have a sense of humor. But I will say. When people say they like a sense of humor, it's kind of like music. It's a little general. So you have to find a girl that likes your sense of humor. Because there's so many different types of comics. And they can say, I love comedy. And they can list three comics you don't think are funny.
David Spade 3:11
Or these movies. Or you say, great, that's exactly. So I... I like girls that are obviously attractive to me, but I also like when they're kind of light and funny, and they don't have to be hilarious, but they just have like a charm or lightness about it. They have to find you hilarious. And they have to find me hilarious. You don't care if they're hilarious. Yeah,
Bill Maher 3:30
yeah. No, but it is wonderful to be with a girl who actually does make you laugh.
David Spade 3:35
Yeah. I mean, I certainly have experienced
Bill Maher 3:36
that. And again, it's like... How do I put this? Not as much as we do it.
David Spade 3:43
Yeah, exactly.
Bill Maher 3:43
There's a certain perfect amount. Sure. And it works for them, too, because they're not comics. Right. And we're not always on
David Spade 3:51
either. Just they have a lightness to them, or they kind of see the world like you do. It's just a fun report. And they get the
Bill Maher 3:56
joke. Yeah. They get the jokes. That's it. Some people don't get the jokes, and they have to leave immediately.
David Spade 4:02
You
Bill Maher 4:02
know
David Spade 4:03
what I mean? I met a girl that was from Ukraine, and I go, well, there's a toddle in town. Yeah. It's like someone's own joke. I go, Ukraine. Okay. And she was... They have a seriousness built in from that area. And everything got quiet. But, you know, Ukraine. Well... But people like that. And then she's talking to me and I realized the point was everything I say or even throw away jokes, even just mildly, it's...

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