Current-ish
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Who are the hosts and panelists introduced at the start of Current-ish?
Hello, I'm Lucy Porter, and welcome to Currentish, the show that serves you everything you need to know about current events in the summer months, when you might be more interested in picnics than politics. For the next three weeks, I'm going to be joined by some fabulous fresh-faced comics to chat through the week's news, as well as highlighting some stories you might have missed. We'll be combining my world-weary cynicism with their youthful joie de vivre. Imagine the family group chat when your mum's had a couple of rosés and finished her book on the EU.
LAUGHTER
To sum up my vibe, think Emily Maitlis broadcasting live from her back garden with her feet in the paddling pool, her bra in the freezer and a calippo instead of a microphone. It's that time of year where we've swapped our heavy winter duvet for the light summer one and we've done the same for our Prime Ministers. I mean, if anything, Andy Burnham's hotter, but hey-ho. England didn't manage to bring football home, but they did drop it off at the top of the road and it promised it was fine to walk the rest of the way from there. LAUGHTER The US and Iran announced they are committed to peace talks right after they finished sending each other strongly worded invitations disguised as missiles. US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that the conflict with Iran has cost $37.5 billion so far, and he said he's going to need even more money, explaining to Congress, we live in a dangerous world.
Yes, mainly because he's in it. Those are the things that I managed to gather in between sunbathing and eating kettle chips. But our wonderful guests have been digging a bit deeper. Please welcome my panel, John Tothill, Kyra Gray, Amy Annette. It's delightful to have you all here, it really is. Thank you. And I'm going to turn to you, Kyra, first, to ask a quick question. If you were Andy Burnham, what policy... It's a dream, isn't it?
I know, I know. I get told I look like him all the time, so that's really nice.
So, if you were Andy Burnham, what policy would you immediately introduce to win over the public?
Do you know what? I have a few. I do have a few, but I think my main one that I think people are most passionate about is paying for bags. I don't know how we got swindled into trying to save the planet by paying for plastic and now we're paying for paper. Yes. Yeah? You notice you're going into Primark and Zara and you're paying 40p, guys.
What first impressions and light summer news jokes set the tone for the episode?
Yeah? Someone needs to get stoned in the square and have a spin. I'm not having it. Do you know what I mean? So that would be my... No, no, no. It's just disgusting.
I've never said stone someone in the square before, but I do want to say it now. Thank you. I agree with you. Stone someone in the square.
I think this audience probably would be in favour of the death penalty.
LAUGHTER
For a lot of people playing their music out loud on trains. Yeah.
I cannot get... Don't you think there's a point, though, where you've got people playing music out loud and then sometimes if a mad person brings a speaker onto a train, I find that quite life-affirming. Do you know what? Absolutely fair enough.
But I think there's a difference there, because a phone feels like you're being rude.
Yes.
Because this is your device, but you just don't mind inconveniencing us. But a speaker's like, I want to invite you to my party.
Do you know what I mean?
That feels like a community. I can get behind that.
That's how far we've got, that people with speakers are now the good guys. Wowee, what a world.
So we've established their death penalty for charging for paper bags, playing your music out loud unless you're insane.
In which case, you could lead the Labour Party.
Yes, that's what Andy Burnham can do. John, obviously speaking of new jobs, Andy Burnham's just started. What's the worst first impression you've made in a new job?
Well, before I was a comedian, I was a teacher. And on my first day... Did I just get a boo?
LAUGHTER
There's a contingent being of people who think kids shouldn't learn to read
Or it's one of your ex-students with a very deep voice.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
Who are the hosts and panelists introduced at the start of Current-ish?
0:10–2:39
2
What first impressions and light summer news jokes set the tone for the episode?
2:39–7:26
3
If you were Andy Burnham, what policies would you introduce to win the public?
7:26–13:24
4
What embarrassing or memorable first-day-at-work stories do the guests share?
13:24–23:57
5
How is Andy Burnham's style and early premiership covered in the panel's analysis?
23:57–28:35