049 I When Power Talks Down: Navigating the Anxiety of a Demeaning Coworker in a High Position

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Communication Skills for Working Women Podcast:Effective Communication, Healthy Relationships, Direct Communication 21 min 2 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago

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What is the impact of condescending communication from a powerful coworker?

Rosemay Webster 0:00

Hello everyone. Today we're talking about a workplace dynamic that many women experience, but very few feel safe from naming it out loud. You have a coworker, sometimes even a leader, who speaks in a condescending, dismissive, or subtly demeaning way. And what makes it harder is this. Everyone notices it, but no one wants to confront it. So you're left carrying the emotional weight of it alone, wondering, am I overreacting? Is this just their style? Should I say something or stay quiet to protect my job? In this episode, we're going to break this down so you can understand not just what to do, but what internal fears may be keeping you stuck. and how to move forward with clarity and self respect.

Elizabeth Amorino 0:47

Welcome to Communication Skills for Working Women.

Rosemay Webster 0:50

I'm Elizabeth. And I'm Rose May. Do you find yourself second-guessing or avoiding conversations because you're worried about being misunderstood?

Elizabeth Amorino 0:58

You're not alone. On this show, we're sharing tangible tools for assertiveness, emotional resilience, and real-life communication wins and fails. Let's sharpen our communication together.

Elizabeth Amorino 1:22

So I have behaved in this way, speaking in a demeaning way and condescending, sarcastic, interrupting. And I specifically remember this Zoom call I was on, there were about eight or ten of us in this meeting and Everyone. I know every's a strong word, but I'm pretty sure it was every time. My the tone of my response was truly dismissive, rude. And condescending, demeaning. It was just inappropriate in every way. And I was fortunate enough to be working with a wonderful individual who privately spoke with me after the meeting. And shared with me that the way I was speaking Came across in all the ways I just said. And it that it made others around me, it made the people in that we were working with second guess their contributions, pull back, edit their voices, like shrink without even realizing it.

Elizabeth Amorino 2:32

And that was truly one of the hardest things I've had to hear, and one of the best. It was really hard because I had been on the receiving end of this type of leadership. If we want to call it leadership, this type of behavior. This type of leader, let's not call it leadership. This type of leader, this type of behavior, this type of person in authority or power. And there I was doing the very thing that Адвен дан томі before. It was also one of the best things that had ever happened to me because I was truly able to not only do the work to learn new skills and to choose to change my behavior. But I was also able to identify what was really going on with me and change my heart and who I am.

Elizabeth Amorino 3:28

So sometimes I will still slip back into this disrespectful behavior. But when I do, I am far more easily able to identify it and make a pivot. So literally yesterday I was responding to my daughter, someone who matters so much to me, and our coworkers can mean a lot to us, not in the same way as maybe a family member, but like maybe we care about the project or we care about humanity, right?

How do internal fears and hidden commitments keep us silent in meetings?

Elizabeth Amorino 3:57

But I was responding to my daughter with sarcasm, dismissiveness, and I would just call it pride. And I po and I saw her shutting down. I saw it in her responses and I paused, and I apologized and I immediately started showing up differently for her. Yes, that was a quick pivot at home, but that can still happen in the workplace too. You can stop mid-sentence and say, hang on, I am really sorry. Let me try that again. And change your tone and show up from a place of respect. We are truly constantly on either end of the power. Let's dig into how to handle it in the workplace, where the person with the power is the one talking down.

Rosemay Webster 4:51

I love that you just mentioned this pivot that you did. I'm thinking about interactions recently both this is like as a therapist in Counseling. Where I've realized like maybe someone has said something I don't know that I would say necessarily shocking, but maybe like catches me off guard or and and it's not about them. It's usually not about them. It's about like somebody else. So they're like maybe describing his situation and I find myself responding and I I have done this like a lot in the last couple weeks.

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Chapters

8 chapters

1 What is the impact of condescending communication from a powerful coworker? 0:00–3:57 2 How do internal fears and hidden commitments keep us silent in meetings? 3:57–6:44 3 What can we learn from Elizabeth’s story about being the demeaning speaker? 6:44–8:58 4 How does the Immunity‑to‑Change framework reveal the assumptions behind our silence? 8:58–11:11 5 What practical steps can we take to speak more directly without escalating conflict? 11:11–13:36 6 How can we test small communication experiments and measure their outcomes? 13:36–16:18 7 What reflections help us decide whether our workplace values align with our voice? 16:18–18:36 8 How can we maintain clarity, presence, and self‑trust after confronting power dynamics? 18:36–21:24

Speakers

2 identified

Elizabeth Amorino 10 min Rosemay Webster 7 min

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Recorded25 May 2026

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Show notes

What if the hardest part of your job… isn’t the workload but the way someone with power speaks to you? You’re in a meeting. You share an idea. And then it happens— A dismissive tone. A sarcastic comment. An interruption that shuts you down. No one says anything. The meeting moves on. But internally? You pause. You replay what just happened. You start adjusting how you show up. Maybe I should say less. Maybe I should prepare more. Maybe I should just stay quiet. This is what happens when power talks down in the workplace. And for many working women, this dynamic creates a very real layer of anxiety at work, self-doubt, and disconnection from your own voice. Because it’s not just about their behavior— It’s about how you start managing yourself around their behavior. Editing your voice. Second-guessing your ideas. Shrinking without even realizing it. In this episode, we unpack what it really means to navigate demeaning or condescending communication in the workplace, especially when it comes from someone in a higher position. And we do something different— We don’t just talk about what they are doing. We help you understand what’s happening internally for you. Because strong communication skills for working women aren’t just about knowing what to say— they’re about understanding the patterns that keep you silent, and learning how to shift them. You’ll also hear a powerful and honest story from Elizabeth—reflecting on a moment where she recognized this behavior in herself. A moment where her tone, her words, and her delivery caused others to second-guess themselves and hold back. And while that realization was difficult—it became a turning point. Because it led to growth. To awareness. And to a deeper commitment to clear, respectful communication—both at work and at home. This episode is not about blame. It’s about awareness, ownership, and learning how to navigate power dynamics in the workplace with clarity and self-respect. Because the truth is—we are all, at different times, on both sides of power. Using the Immunity to Change framework, we walk through a step-by-step approach to help you understand: Why you may be holding back in moments of tension What fears are driving your silence What hidden commitments are keeping you “safe” And how to begin shifting your communication—without escalating conflict 💡 In This Episode, You’ll Learn: How condescending communication in the workplace impacts confidence and connection Why women often adapt by shrinking, over-preparing, or staying quiet How internal fears increase anxiety at work and limit professional communication How to identify hidden commitments that keep you stuck in silence Simple, practical ways to communicate clearly and confidently in high-pressure situations ✨ A Simple Shift to Try Today You don’t need to change everything at once. Start small. In your next meeting or interaction: Say one idea clearly—without softening or over-explaining Pause instead of shrinking if interrupted Return to your point calmly: “I’d like to finish what I was saying.” Because clear communication is not confrontation— it’s self-respect in action. And when you begin to speak with even 10% more clarity and directness, you start to rebuild trust in your own voice. 🎧 Share This Episode If you’ve ever experienced difficult workplace communication or felt the impact of power dynamics at work, share this episode with a friend or colleague who may need support, language, and tools for navigating it. 🌿 Our Mission We help working women build communication skills, strengthen connection, and thrive, while managing anxiety, navigating complex workplace dynamics, and showing up with clarity, confidence, and self-trust. Until Next Time Speak clearly… and listen bravely.

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