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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

A Clown Is Not An Alibi

29 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: Who is Mathew and what is his connection to the circus?

3.524 - 12.42 Sona Movsesian

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

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13.181 - 16.427 Matt Gourley

Hello, Matthew. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

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16.487 - 19.913 Mathew D. Goldie

Hello, Matthew. Thanks for having me. It's nice to be here.

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20.281 - 23.907 Conan O'Brien

Hi Matthew, Conan here and very nice to meet you.

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Chapter 2: What is the experience of living in a circus wagon like?

24.328 - 27.173 Mathew D. Goldie

G'day Conan, good to meet you too.

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27.193 - 30.078 Conan O'Brien

Okay, I'm guessing from your accent that you're from Cincinnati.

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31.44 - 36.329 Mathew D. Goldie

Yeah, downtown Moscow.

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37.11 - 40.095 Conan O'Brien

So exactly where are you right now in Australia?

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40.16 - 42.003 Mathew D. Goldie

We're in Brisbane at the moment.

43.205 - 53.323 Conan O'Brien

So lovely, lovely country. I love your people. I've always had a wonderful time there. And I'm excited that you're here. Tell us a little bit about yourself, Matthew.

Chapter 3: How did Mathew become a clown in the first place?

53.363 - 57.51 Conan O'Brien

What do I need to know about one Matthew D. Goldie?

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57.49 - 67.664 Mathew D. Goldie

Yep. Well, what do you need to know about me? I am a circus clown. I guess we'll start there. That would be the best place to start. Wow. Very cool.

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68.205 - 72.931 Conan O'Brien

And are you, where are you? I mean, you're a circus clown in Brisbane.

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Chapter 4: What is the significance of family in Mathew's circus life?

72.991 - 79.6 Mathew D. Goldie

Is that where your circus is? The circus is in Brisbane at the moment, but we travel all over the country. But at the moment we're in Brisbane.

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79.58 - 94.011 Conan O'Brien

OK. And are you in it looks like you're in a little compartment right now, maybe even in a large steamer trunk. Are you in one of those circus wagons right now?

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94.632 - 112.533 Mathew D. Goldie

Yeah, basically that's right. So I, I used to have a big 30 foot caravan behind me and this was my truck that was basically our laundry and a little spare bedroom. But, uh, my family have left, they ran away from the circus, uh, six months ago. So now I just live in my little truck.

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Chapter 5: What is the process of creating a clown character?

112.553 - 120.943 Mathew D. Goldie

It's about a 2.5 by 2.5 meter space. Okay. And I've got everything I need in here. And, uh, yeah, this is my little home on wheels.

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120.923 - 130.794 Conan O'Brien

Okay, I just want to make sure. You said your family left you. Did they leave you, leave you, or did they just, you'll see them again soon? I mean, there's nothing acrimonious here.

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130.814 - 130.894 Mathew D. Goldie

Yes.

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131.194 - 132.696 Conan O'Brien

Because it sounded dramatic for a second.

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Chapter 6: What does a typical year look like for a clown?

132.776 - 137.582 Conan O'Brien

No, no, I see them. And you said, I've got everything I need. And I'm like, well, your family's gone, dude.

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139.864 - 151.762 Mathew D. Goldie

Yes, that's true. I've got everything I need except my family. No, my daughter wanted to run away from the circus and go to school. She wanted to. Oh, my God. I want to be a neurologist. I know.

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Chapter 7: How does Mathew maintain his clown persona after many years?

151.983 - 152.964 Mathew D. Goldie

You crazy kid.

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153.124 - 154.506 Matt Gourley

You'll wear a red nose and like it.

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154.607 - 159.033 Mathew D. Goldie

Yeah, there's a million kids around the world. What are you talking about?

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159.514 - 168.126 Conan O'Brien

I have so many questions for you, Matthew. First of all, how does one become a circus clown in the first place? How did this happen?

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168.275 - 182.509 Mathew D. Goldie

My sister was a dancer and she got a job with the circus when I was a kid. And then one day I came home from school and there was a job opening for my parents. And I came home from school and my mom said, we're selling the house and we're running away to join the circus.

Chapter 8: What impact does making people laugh have on Mathew's life?

183.03 - 186.553 Conan O'Brien

Oh, my God. That's what I wished happened when I was a kid. And it didn't.

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186.914 - 187.394 Mathew D. Goldie

Yeah.

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187.414 - 189.296 Conan O'Brien

So then I had to be a freak on my own.

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189.336 - 194.341 Mathew D. Goldie

You worked it out just fine. I did work it out. I've been watching.

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194.902 - 197.404 Matt Gourley

What jobs did your parents do in the circus?

197.468 - 214.012 Mathew D. Goldie

My mom worked in the canteen. There's always jobs around the circus that aren't performing, and my dad would take tickets at the door and seat people, and they would cook for the tent hands and jobs around the place. And my sister became a trapeze artist, and I became a clown.

214.333 - 226.851 Conan O'Brien

So tell us a little bit about, first of all, did you know that clown was right for you? Did you think about, oh, I could be a strong man, I could be the bearded lady, or did you know that, what drew you to being a clown?

226.831 - 237.936 Mathew D. Goldie

I just found myself watching the clowns. I didn't even know I was doing that, but that's what I was watching and taking in and watching and taking in. Sure. When it got time to perform, that's what I started doing.

239.62 - 246.055 Conan O'Brien

Tell us a little bit about your clown character. You have to find who your clown is. What is your clown like? Yes.

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