Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show - Lady Crackers
Fri, 15 Nov
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On this episode of “The Conan and Jordan Show”, Jordan attempts to show his ability to be a successful product pitchman. Conan and Jordan also take turns answering life’s great philosophical questions. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan.
Chapter 1: Why did Conan doubt the show's success?
All right, well, welcome to the Conan and Jordan show. This is our second episode. I have to be honest with you, Jordan, I didn't think we'd get to a second episode. Yeah. Because during the last one, I'm just being honest, I wanted to smash your face into powder. But... We made it. We're here. And this is by popular demand. People love the Conan and Jordan show.
What kind of polling did you do to determine the success of the first episode? I've looked at no data. I've talked to no one. I live pretty much a secluded, strange life. But I know deep in my heart that this thing's a smash hit. So much so that, look, we have our own sign now, the Conan and Jordan show. Now, I was under the impression that the previous recording session was an audition of sorts.
Oh, God, no. No, we use... every part of the Buffalo here. We can't waste anything. So no, that was not an audition. That was the first episode.
So now we have our own show. We've passed whatever requirements we needed to pass. What requirements are there? This is the radio. I was under the impression it was sink or swim that the first episode was going to determine the future viability of you and I. Not really, no. No, you were under no pressure. Is this a vote of confidence by any interpretation?
Chapter 2: What is the significance of the show's launch?
Nobody. Nobody has. I've run this up the flagpole. It's serious. And they said, we don't have a flagpole and we're not taking your call.
How does this compare the launch of this show? How would this compare, let's say, to the launch of your late night show?
30 years ago now.
Yeah. Or any of your new projects. Even your Conan O'Brien needs a friend podcast. Would this be comparable launch?
Chapter 3: How does Conan compare this show to past projects?
Not at all. No, those were like massive battleships. Mm hmm. You know, you hit it with the champagne, they slide into the ocean, then they have a storied career on the high seas defending England or America or whatever country manufactured the ship. This, I don't know, this is the emission of a little gas, maybe from like a broken down machine.
But still, it's something that's happening, and we have to respect it.
What kind of promotional circuit can I expect? Will we be hitting the road, spreading the word? No, no, no.
We can't spread anything. Is there any kind of press release that I need to approve or anything like that? I don't even think we can afford that, and I'm told they're free. So, no. And first of all, you've so far been just asking a series of questions, and I've indulged you, but let me get a little bit of stuff out.
Chapter 4: What is Jordan's approach to promoting the podcast?
Oh, you have an agenda. Okay, go ahead.
Well, you don't have to announce everything. It's the Conan Jordan Show. It's the second episode. This is where you and I talk. And people do all the time ask me, how's Jordan doing? I want more Conan Jordan. You know that our videos are a massive hit on YouTube, various other sundry places, the websites. People love them. They can't get enough. They want more. Well, now we're giving them more.
And what better way to experience us than while you're driving around, maybe in your rental car or at home listening to Sirius XM. This is the way to do it. People listen to the Conan O'Brien channel. They want to hear this stuff, you know. So it's you and I together. How are you feeling about it?
That's what you cut me off to get to. Yeah, I thought you had some bombshell you were going to drop. That's what you had to say. That's the information you had to spread. Yeah. I can't believe you had Billy Corgan on your podcast and you didn't ask him what he was chanting at the beginning of 1979. A question that's been confounding fans for decades on the forums. You had him right here.
I did.
I could have said, what were you chanting? But instead it was, oh, I'm a guitarist, too. Do you prefer a Telecaster or a Stratocaster? You know, why didn't you ask him the question that people.
It's just Stratocaster. It's not Stratocaster. We just said the same thing. Second of all, I did ask him. We talked about it as he was getting into his car because the magic moments for me aren't captured, okay? You greedily want me to spill that kind of stuff into a microphone. I walked Billy to his car. It was Acura and massive dent, the back bumper.
And I asked him that question and he told me the answer, but that's the kind of thing I can't share.
You can listen to the isolated audio tracks on YouTube and you still can't figure it out. He would have told you it's not meant to be a secret. It's not like Quentin Tarantino not telling people it was in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction. It just so happens he's never been asked. Now you had the opportunity to ask and finally put the stress, but instead you decided to stick to guitars.
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Chapter 5: What makes Lady Crackers a unique product?
Now, you're going to often find lesser quality oils used in many products, things like soybean oil. These are industrial oils. Then you'll find seed oil, sunflower, safflower. Rarely do you find a brand that's willing to go to the expense of providing a premium oil because, frankly, most consumers don't understand what they're putting in their body. They shovel food in.
They don't understand the quality of said food. Now you have a product that is using olive oil, one of the finest oils on
Can I just confirm? Can I confirm? One second. Can I confirm? Frank, he had no idea what I was going to hand him. No idea. This is not written. There's no copy. There's no copy. This is absolute. What are you doing? How are you able to do that?
Well, the first thing I look for a product made with olive oil and lack of seed oils or processed oils like canola, which is also called rapeseed, which people perceive because it has a high monounsaturated fat content.
Did you say grapeseed?
Rapeseed.
Don't talk that way on this program. What are you talking about? That's awful.
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Chapter 6: Why are good ingredients important in snacks?
That's a piece of flora. Nevertheless, I look for products that don't use processed or seed oils. I like certain kinds of fats. I like olive oil, butter, or ghee. Coconut oil is fine.
Let's get back to, you know, the sponsor is going to want to hear their product name and a little more about the product rather than a list of every oil that exists. Yeah.
Lady Crackers, Los Angeles. Olive oil and sea salt premium. Very few ingredients, which is always a good thing.
Would you like to taste one? Why don't you open it up and taste one? It's okay. Could you please? I typically try to avoid. Would you please? Yeah. It's okay. Would you please? Avoid. Please. Yeah.
Just open it. When I open a box like this, I don't I like to keep these three tabs intact. OK, sometimes it's a challenge. I have to look. I believe that we're defined by what surrounds us aesthetically every day. I like a beautiful looking box to surround me, a box that I could picture you, especially if we're producing a program like this, ripping this thing.
I would tear that.
I would just like a gorilla. But I like to put it in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Just have the cracker, please. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, well... What do you think? Not overly salted. That's a good thing. Sometimes they put too much salt on it. Sometimes they put too much salt. Oh, 340 milligrams. That's a little high per serving. I don't know how you define a serving size. One ounce?
That's a sponsor, Jordan. So just try and be positive about it. Is that to say that it's a perfect product? Who am I to assess? This is the worst ad ever. You can't just crunch it and say it's not perfect. What I'm saying is, I see a lot of... If you're looking for a cracker, If I were looking for a cracker, if I found myself, a lot of people look for crackers in their daily lives.
They feel like they want a cracker. If I wanted a cracker, I would certainly go for Lady and Larder.
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Chapter 7: What humorous jingle did Conan and Jordan create?
Chapter 8: How do Conan and Jordan differ in their ad styles?
Lady and louder. Now with more of the good stuff that you love. Get it now! What do you think? Good answer? Well, you know, we have different approaches. Yeah. You talked in a very depressed way for a while and then said, seems like kind of a high sodium content.
In the end, we both appreciate lady crackers for different reasons. Yeah. You like the clean crunch. I like the lack of over-reliance on processed industrial oils.
It's the clean crunch that gives you a munch and I love it a bunch.
See the way it rhymes?
Yeah.
People love that in an ad. They're not going to remember your sodium content quip, but they're going to remember my- Do you have an idea for a jingle for this? Do you want to sing a little song?
The company asked us to sing a jingle. Can you please do the jingle?
I'm not one to sing, but I could tell you I wrote a jingle for Guinness beer once. I entered a contest in 1996 and I believe I should have won. So they may have this regularly. You had to write a limerick. You're familiar with a limerick. Oh, that's racist. But sure.
Yeah, and I live with a leprechaun.
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