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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Wanda Sykes Returns

09 Mar 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: Why does Wanda Sykes feel indifferent about being Conan O'Brien's friend?

2.967 - 11.416 Wanda Sykes

Hi, my name is Wanda Sykes, and I feel... indifferent about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

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14.119 - 32.94 Sona Motsession

Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school, ring the bell Brand new shoes, walkin' loose Climb the fence, books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends

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33.663 - 40.456 Wanda Sykes

Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by my good friends. And I put that in quotation marks.

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40.917 - 41.719 Sona Motsession

Oh, I'm sorry.

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41.819 - 47.35 Wanda Sykes

Your employees. Sona Mobsessing. Good to see you, Sona.

47.39 - 48.312 Unknown

Good to see you, too.

48.893 - 51.077 Wanda Sykes

And you would be David Hopping.

Chapter 2: What funny experiences did Wanda have while working at the NSA?

51.137 - 62.596 Wanda Sykes

I am. Yeah, that's correct. Thanks for being here, David. Sitting in for Matt Gorley on paternity leave. And Sona, I'm told that you had kind of an exciting moment recently.

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62.637 - 64.84 Unknown

You went to... Exciting moment.

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65.02 - 67.565 Wanda Sykes

You went to Disneyland, yes?

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67.665 - 74.736 Unknown

Can I say, I have been to Disneyland so many times, I've never seen anyone dressed up like Geppetto walking around.

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74.757 - 75.077 Wanda Sykes

Right. Right.

75.057 - 77.2 Unknown

And you do this bit about my dad.

77.32 - 99.231 Wanda Sykes

Your dad has a big mustache and he looks kind of normal. He's a white haired gentleman with a white mustache. He always has reminded me a little bit of Geppetto. And I used to do a long riff about how he carved your brother. Yes. And well, you know, we had some good times, meaning I was laughing and you were staring at me. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had a good time.

Chapter 3: How did Wanda get tricked into auditioning for Curb Your Enthusiasm?

99.251 - 99.852 Wanda Sykes

And that's cool.

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99.892 - 102.715 Unknown

You also got into like, oh, Danny, my real boy.

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102.996 - 103.797 Wanda Sykes

He's my real boy.

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104.457 - 105.699 Unknown

You're shortening it now.

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105.819 - 120.317 Wanda Sykes

Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah. Danny. Yeah. He carved a puppet. And Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah. Swallowed by a whale. OK. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Yeah. But you had this moment. You sent me this picture that blew my mind.

120.738 - 121.078 Unknown

Yeah.

121.058 - 122.36 Wanda Sykes

You went to Disneyland.

122.38 - 122.7 Unknown

Oh, there it is.

Chapter 4: What is Wanda's experience transitioning from comedy to drama in her movie Undercard?

122.72 - 124.983 Wanda Sykes

And tell the tale. Tell the tale.

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125.163 - 127.907 Unknown

Well, Geppetto is just walking around. I don't know.

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128.027 - 145.389 Wanda Sykes

And you've never seen a Geppetto before. I've never seen a Geppetto walking around. Because it's not a character. There's Goofy. Oh, there's Goofy. Oh, there's Mickey. Oh, there are some of the princesses from some of the newer movies. Yes. Iconic figures. Geppetto. I know. Geppetto is a tradesman.

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147.472 - 147.572 Unknown

Yeah.

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148.97 - 156.119 Wanda Sykes

Geppetto is a woodworker. He's got a, you know, and so I've never seen a Geppetto. Do you see Geppetto much?

Chapter 5: What are the highlights of Wanda's recent trip to Disneyland?

156.14 - 159.664 David Hopping

I actually haven't. David, you go. I live there.

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159.684 - 168.175 Wanda Sykes

David practically lives at Disneyland. You never see Geppetto. You're walking and you run smack into Geppetto. Yes. And you know, what do you have to do?

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168.756 - 173.763 Unknown

So I like immediately, shockingly, there was no line to go meet Geppetto.

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173.923 - 184.976 Wanda Sykes

Oh, no one. No one wanted to hang out. With the old Italian man who is a day laborer.

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184.996 - 191.341 Unknown

I know. I'm like, Anna and Ilsa are walking around. Moana's walking around. And then you have Geppetto, and no one cares about him.

191.362 - 207.917 Wanda Sykes

No, of course. No one. He actually, when he walks into the park, they put him out when they want to get people out. Yes. When it's time to close the park, they say, release Geppetto. And he says, I'm making the puppet. I'm making the puppet. And people just go streaming out of the park.

208.397 - 208.457

No.

208.775 - 213.641 Wanda Sykes

Yeah, they do. And then, wow, we closed right at six. Closed early.

213.661 - 216.045 Unknown

Yeah. So I ran right up to him and I never.

Chapter 6: How does Wanda feel about her kids' perception of her comedy career?

216.065 - 220.47 Wanda Sykes

And he's never had anyone do that. Yeah. Was he curious as to why you were happy to see him?

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220.731 - 232.146 Unknown

No, I think I was like Geppetto and nobody else was saying that. And then I went up to him and I asked if I could take a picture. And I'm I'm I put my arm in like I interlock my arm around.

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232.286 - 233.027 David Hopping

I'm so happy in this.

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233.007 - 238.037 Unknown

I'm so happy. And this is the worst thing that I did. And I sent it to you.

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238.097 - 256.407 Wanda Sykes

And you said this is me hanging with my dad at Disneyland. I was so delighted because it proved to me that my riff is actually a pretty good one. This is what your dad looks like to me. I'm telling you, it does. It does. This is what your dad looks like to me.

256.447 - 257.83 Unknown

This is not what my dad looks like.

257.89 - 261.417 Wanda Sykes

He looks a lot like that guy. He just doesn't have the glasses on the tip of his nose. Yeah, yeah.

Chapter 7: What insights does Wanda share about coming out and its impact on her comedy?

261.818 - 270.034 Wanda Sykes

But I mean, that's what your dad looks like to me. Well, and then also, I mean, we kind of- Because my eyes turn everyone into a cartoon character. That's what your dad looks like to me.

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270.014 - 276.143 Unknown

So we cut him out of this picture, but Mikey ran in with me, even though Mikey had absolutely no idea who this was.

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276.163 - 277.184 Wanda Sykes

And probably frightened.

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277.464 - 278.386 Unknown

Big fuzzy man.

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278.466 - 289.862 Wanda Sykes

Yeah, well, he just saw this big... Frightened. Well, he's... Geppetto, look. Look at that guy. That's not something a kid goes, yay! Yay! He just thought it was his grandpa? Yeah.

289.882 - 290.703 Unknown

Oh, my God.

290.863 - 301.669 Wanda Sykes

I know. I mean, you know, he's a guy who's probably being driven out of business. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Yeah, because they're making puppets in China now that are much cheaper. Yeah.

Chapter 8: How does Wanda describe her experience working in a writer's room?

301.689 - 303.812 Wanda Sykes

So Geppetto is a beleaguered figure now.

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303.832 - 306.396 Unknown

And the tariffs are making his material really expensive.

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306.416 - 320.457 Wanda Sykes

Oh, the tariffs are totally fucking over Geppetto. I know. And Geppetto's like, what did I do? This isn't good. And then he goes to the store and there's tons of cheap puppets flooding the market that are from other countries, you know?

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320.588 - 323.231 Unknown

Anyway, I hate... You hate what?

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323.531 - 328.637 Wanda Sykes

Don't hate your father. No, I love my dad. Don't ever hate your father. I love your father. Why did you say you hate your father?

328.657 - 337.546 Unknown

I said I hate it when I play into your bits. And, you know, as soon as I sent that text, I was like, why am I calling my dad Geppetto?

337.566 - 339.108 Wanda Sykes

You kind of threw your dad under the bus. I did.

339.168 - 340.169 Unknown

And I'm sorry to Gil.

340.449 - 354.869 Wanda Sykes

Well, I win. Okay. Because here's how I win. I got to see you link arms with Geppetto and call him your dad and you feel badly about it. And so, and your son is scared.

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